Fellow lifeguards: Evak

Gay

"Ok guys! 20 minutes before we all get ready for bed." Coach clapped and stood up.

Magnus abruptly stumbled down to us, his hair ruffled and faint pink lipstick marks everywhere. Coach was staring at him in shock and fury. I felt second hand embarrassment. Of course there was no canoodling allowed here. 

"Uh thanks for looking for my charger in the toiletries Magnus!" I knew I had to step in

"It must have been really deep in there, your hair's all ruffled" Jonas played along

"Yeah and I think one of the girls's lip balm fell on you" Mahdi too.

The coach didn't look angry anymore,

"Oh. Well come on down Magnus we're going to bed soon." 

Magnus just smiled awkwardly and sat next to us,

"Thank you guys!" Magnus sighed

"That's what friends are for" I said sarcastically

"Yeah, it would be worse if the coach caught you smoking though, right Isak?" Jonas laughed

I just turned red.

"When were you smoking?" Mahdi asked

"He was smoking with Even up at the bench beside the lockers"

"Boys speaking of Even, that guy is HOT"

What the hell? Did Magnus find Even hot? Was Magnus even gay? I felt myself getting jealous for some reason.

"What are you like gay or something?" I chuckled. Part of me hoped he was, maybe it was easier for me to come out then. Coming out was constantly on my mind.

"Uh you don't have to be gay to know a guy is good looking" Jonas replied. Mahdi nodded.

"Well that's kind of the whole point of being gay? That you find guys attractive." I didn't mean to say that.

"Ugh jeez Isak I didn't say I wanted to go fuck him, I just pointed out the fact that he was a good looking guy" Magnus rolled his eyes. 

"Whatever" I said under my breath

"Why are you mad now Isak?" Jonas raised his eyebrows with a fed up look on his face

"I never said I was mad-"

"But your body language is" now Mahdi had something to say as well, great

I sighed loudly, "What do you mean? I'm not mad"

"Isak if you're mad just tell us, it's no big deal-"

"I'm not mad!" I yelled so loudly they were taken back a bit. Apparently it was a little too loud because everyone went silent and was looking at me. I felt my eyes getting droopy, I was embarrassed and I was holding back tears. I just stood up and made my way to the lockers. When I got there I sat at the bench outside. I heard footsteps, maybe they were Even's. 

"Hey.." it was... William?

"Hey" 

"Sorry, I don't mean to invade your privacy but coach sent me to check on you"

"Isn't there always supposed to be a mentor with trainees when they go anywhere?"

"What? No, only when training"

So Even pretended he had to supervise me to be around me? No that didn't make sense, there had to be another explanation.

William sat next to me on the bench,

"What's on your mind?"

"Nothing. Just a little argument with the boys"

"Hm. Didn't seem little.."

"Ugh it wasn't that big of a deal"

"Fine fine" William put his hands up in surrender, "What started it?"

What the hell..

"The boys said a guy was hot and I asked if they were gay, they said no then I said that's what being gay is then they said that all they meant was that he was good looking and that they never said they wanted to fuck him then I said whatever, which apparently means I'm mad at them and they wouldn't let it go." I ranted

"Hm" William nodded, "Isak this isn't my place but it sounds like you were being homophobic-"

"UGH I can't be homophobic when I'm gay!" I blurted out.

Oh no. Oh my god, no I had just told William that I was gay! How could I even know I could trust this guy?

My mouth was wide open and tears were running down my cheeks

"Isak, it's ok, calm down"

I ran off and heard a low, "Wait" from William.

What had I done? There was no way I could return to camp, I had to go far. Very far. I needed my stuff, I ran the long way to the sleeping hut so I avoided going past the dinner area. When I arrived at hut Even was there. JUST MY LUCK. I could barely breathe, my eyes filled with tears. I just gathered my stuff when Even grabbed my arm, 

"Isak what's wrong?" he said worryingly

"Nothing, let go I need to leave" my voice was breaking. He wouldn't let go of my arm, I couldn't escape, until William called my name from a distance, running towards us grabbing Even's attention. His grip loosened and I took the opportunity and ran off. 

Of course William would tell Even what I said, what had happened. 

I ran deep into the forest, my decision impulsive and my breathing even heavier.