dear amanda | nct dream. ✅

067

kang maya

"mama? gising ka na?"

i blinked and opened my eyes again as i look at the person in front of me. i tried to move my fingers, my vision is still blurry kaya ipinikit ko ulit ito.

few minutes later, i heard noises from people. some were calling my name, others are checking my pulse and other apparatus attached in my body.

i opened it again when somebody held my hands. i already know who it is. my heart pounded as i look at him, trying to see him clearly.

"love?" he called and i smiled slowly.

i missed him so much.

how long was i sleeping?

                    "bakit ako nandito?" i asked, my voice is hoarse.

after akong ma-check ng doctor, iniwan na nila ako kasama ang pamilya ko. medyo nanghihina parin ako pero nakaya ko namang umupo.

"naaksidente ka habang pauwi ka galing sa grocery. you've been asleep for 10 months love," jaemin said, he's smiling but his tears are falling. i want to wipe his tears away.

"mama bakit ka umiiyak?" napatingin ako sa anak ko at hinawakan ang kamay niya.

i woke up, crying. sa totoo lang hindi ko alam kung bakit. it's probably because of my dream.

i smiled at my son and gestured him to come closer. nasa tabi ko lang si jaemin kaya hinawakan ko rin ang kamay niya.

"while i was asleep, i had a dream," i said and smiled at hyunmin, our son as i reminisced my dream.

"sa panaginip ko, i had a daughter named amanda," as i said that name, biglang kumirot ang puso ko.

"diba 'yan ang gusto mong ipangalan kapag may magiging anak ka na babae, mama?" he asked and i nodded, then shifted my gaze to my husband.

i told them about my dream with amanda, kahit panaginip lang 'yun, sobra akong na-attach sa kanya to the point na umiiyak ako habang kinukwento ang panaginip ko sa kanila.

"i was unhappy in my dream, but amanda brought me happiness. siya ang nagsilbing ilaw sa akin, she kept me going," i said.

even though it was a dream, i really felt the pain i was feeling. hindi ko namalayang iyak na pala ako ng iyak.

it's like i lost a child— a daughter.

hyunmin hugged me and jaemin looked at me worriedly.

halos 30 years na kaming magkasama ni jaemin, it was when we both ran away from home. kumayod kami at sabay na nag college, hindi kami humingi sa mga parents namin. we worked hard in many part time jobs until we graduated from college.

we started our own business, at nang lumago ito, nagpakasal kami. we invited our families and friends, and of course, the dreamies or the kewl kidz ng orion street.

now, 20 years na kaming kasal, and counting. our son is turning 17 this year.

speaking of kewl kidz, andiyan na sila kasama ang pamilya nila.

mark, my cousin ay kakauwi lang galing canada. nag migrate sila 'dun at tumira for 10 years bago lumipat ulit dito last year. ang anak niyang si marcus ang pinaka unang naging pamangkin namin.

si donghyuck, hindi nga natuloy ang fixed marriage pero nahulog pa rin sa babaeng ipapakasal sana sa kanya, kaya naging totoo. may anak silang kambal na babae and they are a year younger than my son, hyunmin.

si renjun naman, sobrang mapili sa babae pero he ended up with a girl na mas mataray sa kanya. well, they are still a perfect match naman. may anak silang babae na ka-batch ni hyunmin.

in jeno's case, na-push pa rin yung arrange marriage. at first ayaw nila sa isa't isa, pero tingnan niyo ngayon halos hindi na mapaghiwalay. sobrang inlove na nila and i'm happy for them. ka-batch din nina hyunmin ang anak nilang lalaki.

chenle is married to a wealthy family, hindi arranged marriage. in fact, the girl is from their rival company. mala-kdrama ang love story ni lele and in the end, nag merge ang company and became the number one brand in the country. ang anak nilang lalaki ay mas bata kina hyunmin ng limang taon.

and lastly, the newly wed jisung. busy kasi sa trabaho kaya late nang na-realize na gusto niya rin pala magpakasal. medyo bobo noh? char.

it's sad dahil hindi ko nakita ang baby ni jisung nung pinanganak siya dahil nga na-coma ako. hindi rin kasi sumama ang asawa at baby niya eh. baka bukas, excited na ako.

habang nagsasaya sila, biglang lumapit si jaemin sa akin. through the years, i love him even more. oo marupok ako, but i assure you ganyan din kayo kapag nahanap niyo na ang the one niyo. chos.

"love, nakita 'to ni hyunmin last month," he said and handed me a diary. napangiti ako habang tinitignan ito.

i remembered it vividly. this diary is from hyuck, sa exchanging gifts namin na ginawa nung january. naluha ulit ako, it's been 30 years since i saw this.

pucha pink na may butterflies.

nang makaalis na sila at nang makatulog na ang mag-ama ko, kinuha ko ulit ang diary. i opened it and decided to read every entries i wrote.

as i read those entries, i felt nostalgic. it's like a trip down to my memory lane. i felt every emotion in my entries.

the last entry was on may 11, 2020. i smiled as i flip the last page of my entry.

ibabalik ko na sana ang diary sa side table nang may mapansin ako sa likuran ng diary. i flipped it and saw another entry.

dear maya?

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