Pathways

Of Ruins and A River

A voice was talking to him yet only shreds of syllables reached through the blankets of his slumber. The spikes and vocal pitch were annoyingly melodic, playful and the voice wanted something from him as he was certain it was calling his name.

His locked-down body felt heavy and if he even considered moving then a light discomfort rippled through. But the noise and mention of his name didn't stop until he fully felt the couch underneath him and the smell of coffee coming from the distance.

"Kook-ah, wake up..." said Jimin as he shook the shoulder in front of him until it turned completely and he could view Jungkook's sleepy face. "Honestly now... I made coffee, come on..." he pressed forward, determined to not stop talking until he was sure Jungkook was following him. "Why didn't you tell Namjoon that you're here?" he asked as he wiggled Jungkook's phone in front of him shortly. "He called you about 4 times... and then called me," he explained.

"Namjoon?" Jungkook asked himself as if he didn't recognize the name and grabbed his phone unsteadily from Jimin's hands and went through the red color of his missed calls. He wanted to buy himself more time to fully comprehend what was happening and where he was.

Jimin got up and went straight to the open kitchen located at the foot of Jungkook's improvised bed. "He called me, eventually. I told him you're here" he added as he poured coffee into a mug and settled it on the counter.

"Thanks," Jungkook blurted out.

Jimin chuckled and busied himself around the kitchen, opening the window for the air of the streets and the unstained light of the afternoon sun. "Good morning, sleepy..." he said as he addressed Jungkook with a warm but somewhat annoyed smile.

"Morning..." said Jungkook unevenly as he got out of bed and headed to the kitchen area, trying to stretch himself during the process. It was true that he forgot to eventually tell Namjoon through text that he would be staying at Jimin's. When he silently agreed to sleep there, he wasn't 100% convinced that it was the best idea and not messaging Namjoon felt like a way out. He could just deny the invitation if he wanted but letting his hyung know meant that he had taken a clear decision.

"Taehyung..." the name flashed in his head together with the image of the man's face as he grunted when Jungkook picked him up from the side of the bed. "Fuck" He had done that. Only then did his mind begin spinning faster and faster, carelessly ripping away his sense of comfort. What had he done? What was he still doing? Did Taehyung think he was ridiculous?

His eyes settled on the coffee mug that Jimin had placed next to him and beckoned him to drink. The warm liquid assured him that, in a weird way, it was going to be okay. There weren't many instances when one believed that their coffee spoke to them but Jungkook was willing to listen to anybody who had any extra details on how to exist and play his part in the sandbox of the playground he had locked himself in.

He had no choice but to sit there, clueless and hungry. He never noticed his own loneliness until Tae came back to Seoul and showed him the true dimension of something he wasn't even sure he truly missed. Until the moment Tae came back, Jungkook believed that he was only staining his life with memories of Italy which cascaded in randomly, but he genuinely thought that he was on the right trail on the road to happiness.

One glimpse in Tae's direction left him... confused...

He suddenly wanted more of everything. The satiety he imagined until then proved to be only disguised complacency. He wanted more. He wanted everything. He wanted more of everything. Even if he stood frozen in his tracks, his greed galloped towards the skies as his soul descended another full level in Hell.