Torn (A Joshua Burrage and Benjamin Cook Fanfiction)

Chapter Seven

A/N: OMG I had to rewrite this like three times because the draft kept deleting itself or something. I put a picture of a cat kn here hoping to lighten the mood.. So I'm warning you, there is some heavy stuff in this chapter, potentially triggers to some, so if you aren't ok with death, guilt, or loss I recommend you skip this chapter and probably the next. Seriously, this made me cry writing it but it had to be done for the story to move on. The next chaper will probably be the last and after that I will add an epilogue and this will be OVER. It feels like I just started it yestersay. Anyway skipping the emotional stuff and sorry for the delay, here is chapter seven!

When I came to, hearing was the first sense I regained. There were people talking in my room, a man and a woman, doctors I assumed based on their voices. I couldn't quite make out their words, but that's when the pain hit. There was a harsh ache all along my left side as I shifted a bit. It was a burning ache, like had been working out excessively. I opened my mouth to groan from the feeling, something scratching in my throat and preventing the sound from coming out. I heard footsteps approaching and the scratching sensation was relieved as the object was removed. "Good she's awake!" A man's voice said.

My eyes flashed open, momentarily shutting as the light flooded in. "Ow." I said roughly. "God what happened, I feel like I was hit by a truck."

"Good news, it wasn't a truck. It was a Prius." The doctor said. He smiled over at me from my left as he checked the heart monitor."Two nights ago you and your boyfriend were in a car crash."

"What?!" I squeaked, sitting up in the bed, a sharp pain shooting up my side."Ms. Graham I can explain everything, but I'm going to need you lie back down." He admonished quietly. I nodded, lying back down on the bed. "Alright well you were hit, on the driver's side of the car, Mr. Cook taking the hardest hit-"

"Ben! Is he ok?" I asked worry laced in my voice. The man paused for a moment, something flashing in his eyes, but he continued speaking.

"You came out of the wreck with some pretty bad bruising and a bit of internal bleeding. We had a breathing tube in just to be safe while you were unconscious. Your boyfriend however.." the man took a seat on the couch beside the bed, a concerned look on his face. "He was hit pretty bad. His left lung collapsed, there's substantial bruising all along his side. He got cut pretty seriously by all the glass. When paramedics showed up he was bleeding profusely, they had to give him blood.. I'm going to be honest, he's not doing very well."

My heart fell to the floor, shattering. "C-can I see him?"

The doctor nodded, "His family insisted you be on his visit list. He's in room 518. I'll come check on you in a bit." He said, "if you need anything don't hesitate to call the nurse." The man smiled once before leaving the room. As he left though, another person walked in. It was someone I definitely didn't expect to see.

"Kate!" She yelled rushing to me side, eyes the size of saucers.

I breathed out uneasily, "Linsey?" The girl paused as she reached the edge of my bed, fiddling with her hands a bit.

"I uh.. I came as soon as I heard.." She said looking at me her lip sucked in between her teeth. "Your parents are on their way here.. They were a flight behind me."

I debated asking her to leave. Part of me wanted to scream and yell for her to get back out of my life. Yet another part of me felt warm, knowing she still cared. Had she not cared she would have spent the time and money in coming up here like she did. It was a long way from Alabama to New York and it sure wasn't a cheap trip either. I was still a bit mad but I was touched by her coming. I reached up pulling her into a hug. "I missed you Linsey!"

She hugged me back gingerly,  not wanting to hurt me. "I'm so sorry I acting the way I did. I don't know what came over me. I understand you have some memories that hurt and you don't wannna talk about now. Its just I was jealous because Demarius and everyone gets you see you so much now and I barely do! You live In New York, you look fabulous, you have fun, friends, a great boyfriend, your life is great here!"

"Until I get hit by a car," I laughed a bit. "Don't feel bad, I shouldve tried to talk to you rather than letting you slip away. I feel awful."

"Well you shouldn't. Besides, you are in the hospital! You gotta heal and get better," she smiled pulling back and looking at me.

"Speaking of which, I need to visit Ben.." I said quietly looking towards the door.

"I'll help you." She said as she helped met get up off the bed. We made our way up to thw room he was in. I stood outside for a few minutes bracing myself for what I would find.

Eventually I took a deep breath and walked into the small room. My breath immediatly fell as my eyes landed on him, his crippled body lying on the bed, machines and tubes connected to him, needles dotting his body. Tears rushed to my eyes as I hurried over to him, ignoring the pain in my side. "Ben.." I whispered. He was unconsious, likely due to his injuries. My mind raced as I watched his chest rising and falling weakly. Eventually all my emotions came tumbling out with tear choked sentences. "Ben. Baby I am so sorry. I shouldve talked to you. We could have worked all this out, avoided this whole situation. If it weren't for my behavior we could be together now, cuddling on the couch while watching TV and eating popcorn. I've failed you as a girlfriend. I was never good enough, I hurt you. I hurt you so much. If I could I would hold you close and never let you go, tell you how much I love you, take away all the pain and tears I caused you. I l-love you Ben. More than I love myself, more than anything in this world. I wish it was me laying on this bed and not you."

As my tears fell onto his side, a few splashed onto his skin, moistening the flesh. Soon the sound of a long beep met my ears, causing them to shoot up at his heart monitor, a flat line streching across the screen. "Ben?! Baby?? No.. NO! NURSE! HELP! NURSE!" I yelled, panic setting in. "I can't lose you Ben!"

"Kate?" Linsey rushed in, two doctors flanking her. They pushed her to the side, rushing to Ben.

"Someone get her out of here!" One yelled referring to the hysterically behaving me.

"No! I can't leave him! Help please!" I felt arms wrapping around my arms, drawing me from the room as the doctors surrounded him, removing the gown from his chest. As I was leaving, they began doing CPR on him. One doctor readied a defibrillator, "Clear," he spoke as they all backed up, as the machine shocked him, his bruised body raising off the bed slightly.

Whomever had restrained me, had pulled me out, the door shutting behind us, cutting me off from the last time I would ever see my boyfriend Ben.