Torn (A Joshua Burrage and Benjamin Cook Fanfiction)

Chapter Six

A/N: this one is really long! I realized I do a lot of inferring and not well getting straight to the point so I'm sorry if I confuse you guys any or have confused any of you! Anyway things will be getting wrapped up soon, so stick with me everyone! And if I haven't said so, I love y'all! ♥

Ben had acting strangely ever since that night two weeks ago. He was still my adorable and loving boyfriend but he had started staying out longer and there was still the hint of something in his eyes. Also there were the occasional times that he would snap on something that I said or even just ignoring me in general. I had to admit- it hurt. Things had never been like this, he was always so sweet.

I was hoping that going out would clear his mind, get him to open up, to talk about us. There wasn't a single fiber of my being that wanted to break up with him, I loved him, but.. We really just needed to talk.

Now? as I stared into my mirror, a flowy black dress draping over my figure, my frustrations only rose. "Ugh! Why do I not have anything to wear!" I yelled, throwing a shoe across my room.

"Hey!" Josh replied from his seat on my bed. "When I said I'd help, I didn't imagine you would be throwing stilettos at my head." He held the black shoe in his hand.

I bit my lip, turning to him sheepishly. "I'm sorry.."

He gave me a sympathetic look and handed me the shoe, "Why are you stressing so much?"

My grip on my lip loosened I sighed, "Well things have been rough between us lately, I'm just got sure how to react about it all. He's been kinda cold to me and I really just don't want to lose him Josh. He means so much to me and I hate him acting like this. I keep thinking I did something wrong. What if I did and that's why he's acting like this?"

By the time I had finished, tears were streaming down my face. Josh looked at me sadly, wiping my tears. "I'm sure that whatever has gotten into him, has nothing to do with you. You're smart, talented, charismatic, and crazy beautiful. If he want to leave you he's a blind idiot. Anyway man could see how insane he'd be to let you leave." My eyes stayed locked onto during his entire speech, not a trace of deception laced anywhere in the brown orbs, which were peering back intensely into my own. I found my arms wrapping around him tightly, ruffling my hair a bit.

"I'm so lucky to have you in my life, Josh." I pulled away meeting his eyes again.

He smiled, eyes flicking down for a moment, "I would change a thing." After a few minutes of silnce I glanced down, his lips suddenly grasping my attention. Without thinking I began leaning in, taking in a deep breath. His actions mirrored my own, both of us getting closer. Just as his breath ghosted over my lips, a yell from the living room sounded out.

"Kate! I'm home babe!" Both of us jumped away, startled at Ben's voice.

"Crap! What do I wear? Ahh!" I whisper yelled to Josh, feeling my cheeks burning.

"Uhh! Wear the layered red dress and your black stilettos,  I'll distract him!" He said getting up.

Nodding, I rushed to my closet, pulling the articles out. As Josh left the room, shuttinf the door behind him, I could hear the two biys speaking as I changed.

"Babe? Oh hey Josh. Is Kate home? She and I were going out."

"Uh- yeah! She's just changing."

As I looked in the mirror once more, I flipped my curls off my shoulder, making them look slightly neater than their disheveled look. I smiled, trying to pep myself up, and grabbed my purse and opening the door. "Hi babe! You ready to go?"

Ben nodded, tearing his gaze away from Josh. "Yeah. You look nice." He grinned, my heart ached a bit when I noticed that his smile didn't reach his eyes. His arms wrapped around my, planting a kiss to my forehead before he urged me towards the door.

Ben didn't say a word on the way to the restaurant despite the small chat I tried to make. I eventually gave up and settled on watching the city lights as we passed. We arrived at the restaurant within a few minutes. As we got seated our waiter came by, handing us two menus. "Hello! My name is Eric, I'm going to be your waiter tonight. What would you like to drink?" He smiled, holding a notepad in his hand.

Ben cleared his throat, "I'll take a water please." Eric scribbled down the order and turned to me.

"I'll take a Coke please." I smiled.

"Alright, I'll be back in a few minutes to take your orders." Eric said before walking away.

I looked over at Ben, noticing him exhaling heavily. My hand slipped over, resting on his. "You alright babe?"

He met my eyes for a moment, "Yeah, I'm fine."

A sigh left my lips and I grabbed his hand lightly. "You know you can trust me right? If there's anything you wanna talk about, I'm here for you."

His expressionless eyes met mine again, "Can I?"

"What?"

"Can I really even trust you?" He said pulling his hand away.

"You don't trust me?" I asked, a bit hurt.

"Well you've been hiding you and Josh for a while.." he deadpanned.

I frowned, "Me and Josh? What? Do you think I'm cheating on you?"

"Oh come on Katherine. I see the way you guys look at eachother. I hear the way you guys talk. I'm not blind and I'm certainly not stupid."

"Look, Ben, me and Josh aren't a thing. I'm in a relationship with you. You only! I wouldn't even cheat on you!"

He looked around before standing up, "Let's not do this here." With that he walked over to the register, paying the woman before waving me along. I blinked for a moment and got up, following him outside. "I can't keep pretending that I'm not upset, Kate. I hear how you talk. They way you laugh amd smile when your around him. You hardly smile like that around me."

As he got into the car, I followed him, buckling in my seatbelt, my eyes never leaving his face. He sounded.. hurt. "Ben, I don't have feelings for Josh. I never have. Look I'm dating you because I love you." It was true. I didn't have feelings for Josh. He was my best friend. I always talked to him about anything and everything. When Linsey left, Josh was there. When Ben started acting strangely, Josh was there. Thoughts of what happened earlier, flooded into my brain. I wasn't sure why I started leaning in. It just.. happened. The more I thought about it, the more I began to doubt myself. Did I have feelings for him?

"You're doubting yourself. Theres doubt in your eyes." Ben said, starting the engine. "I knew it."

"Ben, I'm not doubting myself. I know how I feel about you! I know that I'm not romantically involved with Josh!" As Ben sped out of the parking lot, my frown deepened.

"So you do have feelings for him?"

"I never said that!"

"But you didn't deny it." His voice raised a bit.

"I don't have feelings for him Ben! God! Why have you been acting like this? I've tried so hard to work this out and its like you don't even care!" I yelled back.

"Kate you don't understand! I love you too much to lose you!"

Suddenly all of my senses blurred together. There was a bright light, glass breaking, and screeching tires, followed a burn in my side. Time slowed down and my sight began to fade away as darkness replaced my vision.