Carry On

3: "Apology Accepted?"

Summary: Sal has come to a decision, but will he be able to go through with it?

May 9th

Two days had passed since Sal tearfully ran out of the park. Here he was walking down the sidewalk in this chilly morning in Williamsburg, carrying a Navy blue backpack and wearing a different change of clothes since the last time he was seen in; he wore a black jacket which was half zipped up over a teal green shirt, gray denim pants and black-and-white Adidas. Sal had one reason and one reason only: he was going back to Staten Island and quitting the show for good.

"After doing some thinking and getting a full night's sleep in one of New York City's most popular hotels (which is considerably more comfortable than sitting hurdled up on a park bench with only a t-shirt to keep you warm when it's chilly outside. The hotel manager was so nice enough to let me stay there for free and the staff were kind enough to give me a spare of clothing to wear), I have come to terms with two things," Sal thought bitterly:

"1). Brian, Murr, and Joe are NOT my best friends, I repeat, NOT my best friends, they never were."

"They are nothing but big fat bullies who bullied, victimized, tormented, taunted, scoffed and hurt me so many times throughout the years of Impractical Jokers; even gloated and rubbed it in my face extra hard and being so unapologetic about it. They NEVER apologize to me for any of my punishments nor pranking me incessantly. Wellll..., the "Permanent Punishment" punishment was the first and only time that at least one of them had EVER apologized to me but still. I mean, whenever they do try to "apologize" to me, they always end it with these lame ass, childish excuses they ALWAYS resort to: "We thought it would be funny, we didn't know how you're gonna react", "Well, don't lose", and "It's a punishment, get over it already"! Yeah, they'd think it would be funny... to them but not to me; they clearly KNOW how I'm gonna react, they ALWAYS know, yet they're too damn stubborn to admit any guilt nor hold themselves accountable and taking responsibility for their words and actions on me! They always tryna make it seem it's MY fault they'd done me wrong like that; okay, I sorta get it that it's MY fault I lost, but how the fuck I'm supposed to know that it was a punishment when it WASN'T supposed to a PUNISHMENT in the first place! They KNEW they'd fuck up, they knew; but it's not like they care about how I feel, they never care. I'm just the sensitive guy. Whenever I try to express my feelings, I get judged for being too sensitive, but whenever I act all passive aggressive to them, they wanna give me this false pity like they're sorry for what they did, but clearly, they aren't, and they wanna act like I hurt their feelings by ignoring them and giving them the silent treatment like I'm an asshole when clearly, they're the ones who are assholes and hurt MY feelings: but like I said, they don't care. Never have, never did. They always expect that I can't stay mad at them forever and I should forgive them because we're lifelong best friends, which is a complete load of bullshit; like it's my job to get over it for THEIR sake and the sake of that stupid ass show. That all they care about is that stupid ass show and themselves but no one else, especially me, their best friend; well..., former best friend."

"2). Quitting Impractical Jokers will be detrimental to the show itself and to THEM."

"I mean, it can't be Impractical Jokers/Tenderloins Troupe with just three Jokers/Tenderloins. It will also be detrimental to my amazing superfans since I'm fan-favorite (secretly, they do love seeing me get punished) and to my family (despite the fact they keep appearing on the goddamn show for my indiscretion after pleading to them numerous times not to); I don't wanna let my family down, especially my nieces since they enjoy watching the show. Besides, if even if I do quit the show and THEM, where am I gonna go from there? It's not like I have any backup plans. The bar that I'd use to work and co-own had closed down 2 years ago due to a financial pitfall. I could do some acting, I have made some frequent guest or cameo appearances in some TV shows; but I highly doubt if they're hiring anyone now. I could try singing, I'm a great singer. Besides stand-up comedy, singing was my passion. I was the lead singer in chorus throughout high school, and I even auditioned for American Idol more than decade ago; but I didn't make the cut because I let my nerves get the better of me that. At least I made it to the semifinals, so I guess it's a hollow victory. Mmm..., maybe I should think about my second option a bit more. I don't wanna make any rash or rush decisions without thinking thoroughly. Man, my feet are killing me. How long have I been walking?"