Carry On

5: "Carry On"

Summary: Sal is getting ready for his stand-up and he seems excited for this. Wellll..., looks can be deceiving.

July 11th

Sal was at the Senator Theater in Baltimore, Maryland for his live stand-up performance. He was in bathroom as he was getting ready to go out there and break a leg. He wore a black blazer over a white V-neck t-shirt with black denim pants and black-and-white Adidas. He splashed some water on his face and then looked in the mirror; an deadpan looking, lonely, middle-aged man staring back at him.

"So I guess this how it feels to be in a black hole," he thought flatly as he reached for the roll of paper towels, tore piece of one and began drying his face with it.

Over a month had past, and Sal was still reeling from the emotional pain he endured; even being around his "best friends" was too much for him to bear with. There were days where he would mentally bang his head against that same damn wall and thought interrogatively, "Why I didn't just quit that infuriating show and THEM and be finally rid of them once and for all?"

And yet he couldn't bring himself to leave the people who had called themselves his "best friends" who: he'd been lifelong best friends for almost his entire life, were there for him after he needed them the most, and brought happiness, joy, purpose, and love in his life. He felt the warmth of friendship, regardless of his current doubt about their intentions; and he literally felt he would probably die if he had to go back to that person he was before: cold, friendless, and alone.

He then decided to take a third option: whenever he tried to be assertive with his feelings, people would judge him for being too sensitive; and whenever he tried to be passive (or I guessed you could say, passive aggressive) with his feelings, people would still judge him but by being cold and distant and try to get him to open up his feelings to them which annoyed the hell out of him every single time when that happened. So he decided to be neither passive nor assertive and would just be... mutual; yeah, mutual.

He would speak to people only when they asked him a question or speak directly to him, he would make excuses for why: he didn't want to hang out with them, not wanting to record an episode of What Say You? with Brian, and not showing up to any punishments recently; just enough to keep around, but too much as to push away or to open his heart. He was never going to make that mistake again. He was never going to let his "best friends" hurt him again nor giving them reason to hurt him again; not an ideal system, but overall, he was content with it.

Sal snorted bitterly and thought sarcastically, "Yeah right. Flip a quarter in the air; if it lands on heads, you win a million dollars. That would be rich. Haha, money pun."

He crumpled the paper towel in his hands and threw it while still looking at his reflection as it perfectly landed into the trashcan. He shifted his eyes to his left when he heard the crowd out there chanting his name and the emcee announcing, "Alright ladies and gentlemen, let's give a round of applause for the legend himself, the one and only, Ja'Crispy Vulcano!..." Sal could hear the crowd roaring in excitement at that announcement; an indicator that he needed to get out there. He shifted his eyes back to his reflection, then he closed his eyes as he deeply inhaled through his nose then deeply exhaled audibly through his mouth before opening his eyes and thought indifferently, "I guess it's my time to shine."

He casually strolled towards the bathroom door before opening it and exiting the bathroom before closing the door behind him. Just like before, Sal instantly put on the same façade as he boarded on the stage and waved at the crowd.

The stage was hot, and Sal was wiping the sweat off his forehead and high-fiving fans from the edge of the stage. The crowd were vivacious, lively, and interactive. Sal always soaked up the energy that poured out of everyone. He never felt so loose and nimble on stage in a long time; no inhibitions holding him back, no weight on his shoulders, his "best friends" weren't there to bother him, nothing. The night was just clicking together like the remaining pieces of an amazing puzzle.

Sal had been singing a lot lately in his stand-ups. He would occasionally visit the music studio with his other best friend/former NSYNC member, Joey Fatone to do some recording sessions. Sal even had a voice teacher who helped him with his vocals and determined his vocal range and voice type: his vocal range - tenor and his voice type - dramatic tenor (Also known as "tenore di forza" or "robusto", the dramatic tenor has an emotive, ringing and very powerful, clarion, heroic tenor sound. The dramatic tenor's approximate range is from the B one octave below middle C (B2) to the B one octave above middle C (B4) with some able to sing up to the C one octave above middle C (C5). Many successful dramatic tenors though have historically avoided the coveted high C in performance, except for others like Sal for instance. Their lower range tends to extend into the baritone tessitura or, a few notes below the C3, even down to A♭2. Some dramatic tenors have a rich and dark tonal colour to their voice (such as the mature Enrico Caruso) while others (like Francesco Tamagno) and Sal of course possess a bright, steely timbre. It makes sense that Sal is a dramatic tenor; I mean, he is a dramatic person in general; no pun intended). He decided to sing his own version of Olivia Holt – "Carry On".

He took the mic off the its stand, cleared his throat and began to sing.

Olivia Holt – "Carry On" (The Ja'Crispy Vulcano version)

Sal: 🎵There's always gonna be some stop sign in the way
There's always gonna be a road I cannot cross.
Sometimes I always feel that the world hates me
I am known to fall down, feel lost, feel weak.🎵

🎵As you can see.🎵

🎵No one said this would ever be easy, my friend
But I'll be by your side 'til death do us part at the end.
I will always live life well strong
No matter how tough, no matter how long!
I will leave my past behind
And carry on, carry on, carry on, carry on!🎵

🎵Some will say the journey's just too hard
Never know where it ends or where to start.
There's no air, but somehow, I'm still alive
At the end, the strongest will survive.🎵

🎵I'll continue to strive, yeah!🎵

🎵No one said this would ever be easy, my friend
But I'll be by your side 'til death do us part at the end.
I will always live life well strong
No matter how tough, no matter how long!
I will leave my past behind
And carry on, carry on, carry on, carry on!🎵

🎵I had failed sometimes
But I gave it my all to show!
Don't worry, I'm fine
I just have to let it go!🎵

🎵No one said this would ever be easy, my friend
But I'll be by your side 'til death do us part at the end.
I will always live life well strong
No matter how tough, no matter how long!
I will leave my past behind
And carry on, and carry on!🎵

Once the song ended, the crowd applauded; most of them gave Sal a standing ovation while others sat with tears in their eyes by Sal's song. Sal didn't realize his face was stained with his tears throughout the song until he wiped his face. He took a bow before standing up fully straight. He scanned the crowd and saw tears in their eyes; those weren't tears of sadness, those were tears of happiness, joy, love, and sympathy which warmed Sal's heart as a faint smile slowly plastered on his face; it wasn't a fake or forced smile, it was an actual genuine smile; a smile no one had seen for a very long time.

Sal placed the mic back on its stand and remarked contently, "Thank you, everyone. Thank you." He waved at the crowd.

Unbeknownst to Sal, Brian, Murr, and Joe, were sitting from afar at the very back with tear-stained faces, watched the whole thing. They couldn't help but to be happy to see glimpses of the old Sal they know, though at the same time, they felt even worse of themselves when they studied Sal's tear-stained face and melancholic expression during his song and listened very closely to the lyrics which hit a nerve not just in Sal, but also in the them.

Brian softly closed his eyes with a long, sad sigh and thought somberly, "If he could just only sing his feelings out right there and be finally done with it already." He fluttered his eyes open and he, Murr, and Joe watched Sal leaving the stage and exiting through the backdoor; that probably was their cue to leave as well.

They wiped their tears away before getting up from their seats and sadly exiting through the front entrance of the theater, fearing that things would get worse from here than before yet hoping and praying a miracle could happen to repair their fractured lifelong friendship with Sal.