Top Bunk

DAY 11

⌚ 2:00 AM

El wakes up to her phone ringing incessantly and a sticky puddle in her underwear. For a brief moment, El doesn't know which issue to tackle first, but her sleep-deprived brain settles on yanking her phone from its charger and running to the bathroom. Upon entering and flicking the at first blinding light on, the red splotch that's spreading on her shirt reassures her that her bitchiness yesterday was totally justified.

She pulls her shirt and underwear off and tosses it into the sink - hopefully she can rinse them off before she embarrasses herself when doing her laundry. El sighs, settling on the toilet. Only then does she remember that her phone is still ringing.

"Hello?"

"Elizabeth...honey?" And there she is again - her mother sobbing, hyperventilating.

El takes a deep breath. "Mom."

"I-I need to talk." Her mother lets out a shaky sigh. "To you."

"About you, I presume?" If El's voice was cold yesterday, it's freezing below zero now.

"Elizabeth." Even when the woman is crying, she's still able to scold her daughter. Of course.

"You need to talk..." El decides to pick up.

"Remember when I said your dad and I might get a divorce?"

Suddenly, El's uterus feels like it's dropping. That's either her period or the dread. For once, she hopes it's the first.

"We are, El." She's using El. She's serious. "We're getting a divorce."

It's not the news that surprises El - it's how she reacts. Tears suddenly pooling in her eyes, stomach swirling (again, it might be her period), head practically cracking open, lungs collapsing, like what, is she imploding into herself? What is with that word; divorce? So her parents aren't together. El's an adult. She doesn't have to live with them. Their separation really wouldn't change much.

"El?"

El takes a deep breath, no wait she can't. She can't breathe no god she can't. She tries to take in air but it can't go past her throat - instead she lets it out. Soon she's gasping; short, ragged breaths bursting out of her mouth and the tears are falling now and those sounds coming out of her mouth are not attractive at all.

"Elizabeth, are you there?"

She can only whimper.

That's enough for her mother. She sighs in relief. "Look, I'm sorry - "

"Sorry?" El rasps. "Sorry. Right. Okay. That fixes it."

"El - "

God, why is her mother calling her that? She only calls El El if she's trying to get on her good side. Or if she's trying to make a point. What sucks is this time, it's both.

"Thanks for letting me know," is all that El says.

"D-don't you want to...talk? We can - we can talk."

"No thanks." El's voice is harsh but that's the only way she can keep from bursting into tears and that's not happening while she's on the phone with her mother.

"Oh, okay. Uh, how about you head home, then? You, me and your father can talk."

"I'd rather not talk."

"Are you sure?" Her mother is worried. Obviously, she's trying to sound cheerful but her voice is cracking and El tries to swallow that goddamn lump in her throat. "I've heard it's better to let out what you're feeling."