(BIG BIRDS POV - PROLOUGE)
Before the world even existed, I was here. I am an almighty being, alongside my brother Caillou. We created humanity togEther. Every 6 billion years we would have a tradition where we evolve humanity. It was always fun, seeing the fish grow legs, watching those "humans" create their "tik toks" and their "methamphetamines". They were so interesting.
Soon, Caillou and I have separated. With our divorce, I took the planet "Earth" named by the humans, and he colonised a planet called "Lazy Town" in a far away galaxy. Witch, may I add, makes life HELL Everytime I have to pay child support. I thoroughly regret having all those kids with my brother, they are inbred "prophets" named Jubeet PROP, Jimmy, Johnney, Jimmy Neutron (not to be confused with Jimmy the first), and after hundreds of years, our adopted daughter, and most successful prophet after Jubeet, Dora. Finally, a woman worth letting lead. And her name doesn't start with a J. I told him we should mix it up a little but NOOOOOOO, "ALL DISAPPOINTMENTS HAVE TO START WITH A J, BIG BIRD. WHY CANT YOU JUST NOT QUESTION ME FOR ONCE????" FUCK YOU, MAN plz cum Bak 2 me ;(
It's almost funny how hard it is to run a planet. Earth, I could tell, would be the most interesting project yet. Around an era known as the "American 1960's" I got bored of just sitting on my throne of stars and clouds. I looked down at a small studio in the "North AmericA" and I saw a small company wanting to create a fun television program for children. I scoffed. "honestly, what adlescent needs enrichment?" I boomed. A hearty laugh escaped my throat. I listened to their words,
"Well, last night I had a dream of a large yellow bird telling me to cast him image on the world. It was so grand, it felt so real!" An intern suggested.
"Me to." Replied most of the design team.
Ah hampster hamstrings, I forgot I sent visions to these guys telling them to worship their true God. Oh well, let's see how this plays out...
"Well then! Well create a big yellow puppet. But what do we name it?" Their leader asked. I send visions to everyone in the room.
Big birddddddd............
"Then it's settled! We shall call it, BIG BIRD!" Everyone cheered and I smirked.
"All in a day's work."
...and it was good.
I changed a couple of the names around so that this feels more organic. Cohesive. Not really, but I tried.
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Big Bird goes to Meijer
Humorbig Bird goes to Meijer and some WAaaAACkkKKKyYYYY hyjinks insue! he kills his wife, eats an eggplant and goes to the bathroom 1 too many times. will big Bird set abourd the newest airship to space, the Olive Oil, constructed my Gordon Ramsey- I me...
