ALWAYS ZAYN

59'

Unedited!

A week passed in a blur with Nana avoiding Zayn thoroughly. He didn't give up though, he would always sneak into the room and talk to her before leaving. The first two days, he thought she really was sleeping but after a few more thoughts and questioning the doctor and her mother, he found out that she's avoiding and also Khumais. He didn't know why she was doing that but wants to find out why though she didn't give him the eyes to. Khumais kept crying continuously like something has being ripped away from him and together they'll cuddle up together and sleep at night.

His mother asked him to give Khumais to his mother in-law or them Rukayyah but he refused and close the topic. If Nana is not there, then there should be a part of her that's with him or he won't function. Zayn now knew how to take care of children and bought more things that will help him take Khumais with him to the office just because he wants a part of Nana with him.

She's talking to his siblings, mother, father but not him and Fahad is yet to come because he's playing another match in Italy so he won't be there for now but will try coming in between next week or upper, not that Nana even cared at the moment. Her brother was the only person she had before but still, she didn't push that he should come and let him take his time. If he wants to see her, he should make sure they play that game well, that was what she said.

Nana smiled or more like forced a smile to her sister in-laws as they round her room with Rukayyah. They brought food and had to sneak junk in, she won't trade the girls to any other. They always visit her in the hospital to make sure she is okay and mostly, just to tell Zayn how she is. She has already written the poem she wants to send to him and is just waiting for the girls to want to leave so she could give Naazwa to give him. She is afraid she can't touch her phone.

"I can't wait to give birth to my bouncing baby boy, he has started kicking." Naazwa sighed, moving her hands around her swelling belly which looks so good on her if Nana would say so herself.

"Can I feel it?" Nana asked from the bed, the smile stretching further in her face becoming real. Whenever Naazwa talks about her baby, it always lights up her mood in a blink.

After finding out that Khumais is her son, she wants nothing but to go and fetch him and just rain kisses all over him but she can't, not when she can't face Zayn. The worst part about regaining her memory is knowing she won't be able to give birth because of her wretched past. How will she be able to live with Zayn knowing she won't be able to give him what he wants? She could see how much he loves Khumais and knew that one day, he would want to have his own flesh close to him. She could see his eyes when looking at Khumais, he wants his own babies and she is not the woman to give him that.

"Yep, place your hand and leave it there for awhile." Naazwa said, standing right in front of Nana on the bed. Nana could only say that they are closer now more than ever with Naazwa and became sisters along the short way.

When the girls got ready to leave, Nana gave Naazwa the piece of paper and told her to give Zayn which she promised she would. Nana's heart broke after giving the paper to Naazwa but that is the best she can do for him. To let him find his happiness somewhere is what love is all about since she can't give him that. She wanted to explore a lot more with him, do more things than head could imagine but look where they are, on the verge of divorcing. She wished her memories aren't back, they should've stayed constantly as flashes and never recover but after recovering, she can't face Zayn and tell him all those awful moments.

Crumbling herself on the hospital bed, she let the silent tears fall down her cheeks to her ears and some rolling down to her nose. What has she done to deserve this? She knew even if she wanted to stay with Zayn, her memories will forever hunt her down and she is just going to be wicked and take away his happiness. Zayn is loving, caring and attentive so nothing she does will help bring happiness to his life. He will also not want to see her face after hearing what has happened to her, she is just too broken for someone like him to adore and love anymore.

Maybe it was destiny that kept bringing back Hidaya to their lives, maybe Hidaya is just the right one for him all along and they didn't see that because if how blinded they were with their love for each other. How could she be so selfish and change after falling in love? She should've known that there is a reason why Zayn didn't want to consummate their marriage. It also has a lot to do with her memories since he has said so himself. She can't believe what an empty place her life has come to be without Zayn. She could feel the voice yelling inside her head calling out his name but can't do a thing.

Her life was too good to be true. Even her parents hated her first before they regretted their action, she is not holding any grudge against them because it won't do her any good. She could also remember who that her maid is, she was the co wife in Zaria who helped her though so much. Jumaimah was there for her back in their village and stood by her side when all odds were against her and she also came to visit her four times. They talked about old times and reminisce.

She told her how she performed her takabah before leaving Isuhu's house for good to work as a maid there in Zaria. She also told her how Zayn went there and begged her to come stay with them for a little while till she gets her memories back. She also said that she wasn't married and even hates men in general after her first love turn out to be wicked and into domestic violence so she is now thriving for herself and get better.

Nana is happy for her except the place where she said she won't be able to give birth too because of the medicines Isuhu kept giving her then. Nana asked her to go see the doctor before she leaves the hospital and the doctor confirmed that she will be able to give birth if she takes some medication and watch her steps with taking medicines and she was ecstatic. Nana was happy for her, if she couldn't, at least some one should be able to do so and not end up not marrying because of it.

"I wish I could hold your heart,
Cradle it gently in my hands.
My arms are not strong enough,
To hold what is not meant for it.
My eyes have seen a lot of things,
And I thought I'd seen them all.
But the way your smile ignites my own,
Makes me think there's so much more.
This walls around this heart of mine,
Have stood, collecting dust.
But it's as though you've found the gate,
That leads right to my trust.
I've liked my name before but not anymore,
But on your lips, it's so sweet.
And your voice is my new favorite song
That's forever on repeat.
But even though I feel this,
I can never let you see.
Because you deserve a whole lot more,
Than a broken soul like me."

Zayn kept reading the words time and again. He is trying to see what she means and not go down the dark lane. He knew what she means after trading the first time but he didn't want to acknowledge that fact about them. She can't do that, or will she? He kept the paper on the table and fist both his hands underneath his full beard. What does she mean? Did she think he will divorce her just after sending this later to him? Well, maybe she still doesn't know who she is dealing with. Zayn is not one to give up and will never do so even if the humanity lies in his hands after that.

He stood up and fed Khumais his meal before tucking them both to bed after taking shower and changing into matching pajamas. They look so cute together but Zayn couldn't sleep, he was wide awake after reassuring Khumais that they will go and see Mine tomorrow together. He just promised the kid and by all means, he is going to fulfill that promise to the little kid that won't stop calling him Papa.

He is done playing Nana's game because this letter has pushed him to the wall. She taken this hide and seek to far and he sure is going to bring an end to all the nonsense she is about to put up. Is she crazy to send this to him thinking he doesn't love her anymore? Where did she place their trust or has she lost it in her way to getting those awful memories back? He is going yo find out and with that determination lacing his words and every fibre in his being, he let out a breath and cuddle the kid close to him. Tomorrow is going to be a big day for everyone, it either changes everything or build everything.