The Shugar Mummy

Chapter 1

For three days, I have stared at my note pad, not knowing how to start this. I have typed and cleared my texts over and over again but I'm done. I'm just going to type this as it comes and hopes it makes sense. This had better not be crappy.

It was the year 2013, I had just gained admission into the university. For so many reasons I didn't want to school in Lagos. I just wanted to go far away from home, experience a different kind of life, far from civilization. I chose Ekiti and I was lucky at my first trial to get admission into the Federal University in Oye - Ekiti.
Registration process was so tough and stressful but eventually I pulled through. Economics department had about 50 students. Oh I forgot to mention, it was one of the new universities established by President Goodluck Jonathan then.
I was lucky to be among the pioneering set of the school. In the whole school as per the first set, we were about 500 in number. While seating for the orientation, I  remembered the struggle to write the Post Ume then. We were close to twenty thousand and to be chosen among the lucky few, I felt proud, even though I know my dad had to pull some strings. It all didn't matter anymore, I was about to start a journey of Independence.
I didn't have a place to stay and after staying at a guest house in the town, I had to look for an apartment. I didn't want to stay in a house with landlord, I wanted a student area. But because the area was just developing, there were few students' hostel around.
While chatting with one of my course mates Dare, he told me there was a hostel along the school road. He said it wasn't completed yet but still it was conducive enough to be called a domicile.
We went to check it out, it had doors and sliding windows but no burglary. The area and path to the house were bushy but we both knew in the long run it would be better.
We decided to pay for the house. It was a fourteen room house with bathrooms and toilets outside. There was no borehole so we had to walk like five minutes to a stream to fetch water. Our landlord had promised to make a well very soon, so we felt at ease.
The next day, Dare moved in and the following day I followed suit. By the time I got there, I met another guy, a fellow house mate and a computer science geek named Paul.
None of us had bought a bed yet so we all slept in Dare's room because he had carpet. That night was scary as shit, majorly because we were scared we would be devoured by wild animals or end up being sacrificed by evil spirits in the forest around us.
The great relief and joy we had when we woke up, I had spent my first full night in my apartment.
About a week later, Paul brought all his loads from home and had his room set. I didn't have anything in my room yet, I wasn't even sleeping in it. School work had been heaping and I started to dread the department I was already.
I decided I was going to get my bed the next day and Paul advised that I go to town, Ado Ekiti to get it. I got to the school junction after lectures for the day, at a park where we took bus to set off for the one hour journey.
The only thing I wanted to buy from the Market was the bed. I got carried away eventually though and decided to buy some things at a mega super market in town.
I got some toiletries and essentials and proceeded to pay. There was a woman in front of me on the queue with so many stuffs. I couldn't see her face but her back view showed she was a corporate person, dressed in a female suit and pant trouser, probably a banker.
She paid for her stuffs and was left carrying about five to six nylons of goods. I shook my head, smiled, paid for my stuffs and carried my "one" nylon. As I was about to leave, I could sense she was having troubles carrying her stuffs.
"do you  mind if I help you ma?"
I looked into her face and she gave me a smile, her smile was beautiful and alluring. She gave a chuckle and responded,
"oh please my dear....."
I packed like three of her loads with mine while she took the rest. We got to her car and she opened the boot, while I bent to put her stuffs in it. She came up to me to thank me and I told her it was nothing. Staring at her, she would be in her mid 40s, she was of average height, ebony skin and full bodied, not fat. I wished she was a cougar as I was mesmerized.
"what a gorgeous woman, she must have been so beautiful when she was my age"  I thought to myself.
She offered to give me some cash but I refused and said she shouldn't bother. She tried to insist but I stood my ground.
"what's your name?" she asked.
"Olaoluwa ma" I responded shyly.
"that's a lovely name", I chortled at her compliment. "My name is Abike, Abike Aremu".
I wondered why she didn't use "Mrs" but it was none of my business. I was probably never going to see her again. I looked at my wristwatch and it was past 4.
I told her I had to leave because I came to buy something. She asked where and I told her the market.
"oh, that's good, get in, I'll drop you off" she said.
I tried resisting but she made a good point by saying it was the only way she could thank me. So I got in and she dropped me off at the market and drove off.
"I hope I see her again someday" I thought to myself as I went amidst the market crowd.

I got back to my hostel around 8pm with my big sized bed and took it to my room. I checked on Paul and Dare but only Paul was home. He saw my bed and screamed with laughter.
"Falodun, are you getting married ni? is this  bed for you and your wife?".
I laughed and told him I just wanted to feel really comfortable for the next four years. While I was still talking, the idiot jumped on my bed and was shouting.
"walahi, this bed would be good for sex, arrrgh, it even has springs" he retorted.
"he he, I don't know what you're talking about" I smiled.
While we were still talking, Dare knocked on my door and came in. We didn't have electricity yet and so we were using the flash lights of our phones.
"ahan, Olaa, o ga ju" he said as he sat on the bed and was pressing it.
"this bed makes sense I swear" he continued, then Paul interjected.
"I can go twenty rounds in one night with this bed". I knew Paul was mad as we all burst into laughter.
After the laughter died down, we were silent for a while, then Drey (Dare) asked me to come outside that he wanted to tell me something.
We got outside the house and in the thick darkness lit with our flash light, he looked at the time, 8:45pm.
" Alaye how far? mo need help e"
"talk nau boss, anything" I responded.
"nkan to shele ni pe, there is this girl in sociology department I just met. I've been on her matter for days now and she has decided to come over tonight and spend the night".
"hehehehehe bad guy" I interjected as I shook his hands.
"oshey omo iya, but you know say I no get bed, I for ask for Paul's bed but you know me and you are closer, and thank God you just bought your bed. Just for this night, make I use am, kojumatimi, I go buy my own bed next week".
"okay, no wahala nau" I replied as I felt we were just getting to know each other and needed to make a good impression.

11 pm I was in Paul's room, I was going to spend the night there. Paul's room was right beside Dare's on the same row as mine also.
We were having dinner, Bread and sardine with tea just when we started hearing the moans of a female.
We were the only ones in the house and it was as quiet as a graveyard so the moans of the girl were so clear and audible. Paul was already laughing and I was smiling.
"oloriburuku ni Dare, hehehehe, o fe pa omolomo abi? he wants to kill that girl" ..I burst into laughter.
I only just realised now that Paul had this weird way of laughing like that of "Denver's", the character in Money Heist.
"ahh Falodun, na your bed I pity, disvirgined on the first day and not even by you, arrrrgh" he continued as he rolled on his bed and was dishing out his wicked laughter. I joined in his laughter too before telling him he was mad.
"shhhhhh shhhhh" he told me to shuush as the girl's voice had grown louder now. I didn't think she knew other people were in the house also or maybe she just did not care.
"yeh! yeh! yeh! arghhh! dare! don't stop! don't uuurrghh!" she kept on repeating for minutes.
Paul  flashed his light at his wall clock and in a burst of silent laughter again he said "twenty minutes, this guy never cum, na porn star?" ..I couldn't hold my laughter anymore as the tea I tried to sip came out of my nose.
I knew it, I was going to have crazy housemates.