The three of us stood there, bewildered at the sight. It was Abike. I was shaking and trembling, I looked to my left and right and could see the shock on the faces of my friends. This was trouble, real trouble. None of us could mutter a word.
I tried to conjure up some words but it just wasn't coming through my open buccal cavity. Bottom line, I was speechless.
Stella was watching the show before her and was confused. She had no idea what was happening, only the four of us did.
And Abike, oh I didn't mention her demeanor? Her facial expression was calm, a tad bit surprised but she seemed to have it all figured out, she was the adult amongst us. She was smiling and expecting one of us to say something. But in the actual sense, we were expecting her to say something as nothing any of us could say would lessen this awkward predicament.
I thought to myself what to say, My heart was beating as fast as a locomotive. I knew I had to be the one to break the ice. Dare could be mature enough in a response, but you see Paul ehn, I was not going to risk it. As I opened my mouth to speak, Abike took the floor
"waoh, good afternoon guys" She said with an askew smile and an evil grin. She gave the three of us a wink and an eye sign that we all instantly recognised at once. She wanted us to play along.
"good afternoon ma" Dare and Paul responded. I could not say anything. I was just watching as I could feel the heat and started to sweat.
"Anti mi, these are my friends who have been taking care of me for the past couple of weeks" Stella said as she stood beside me and my friends.
"awwwn, ese gan, God bless you all, I'm really grateful" Abike responded.
"oh ma, its nothing, Stella is a very good person and we're lucky to know her sef" Dare responded with a smile
"very very lucky ma" Paul added with his annoying laughter as he gave me a jab.
They were all finding this amusing, even Abike. But I wasn't, I could not even bear to process the information before me, I've been having sex with my girlfriend and her aunt? I thought to myself if this was an abomination and that I've been cursed for life. What would I even tell Stella? oh goodness, I was a dead man. I could feel my bladder about to burst from the shocker.
"humm, may I be excused?" I said softly
"what's wrong?" Stella asked
"nothing, I want to pee" I replied
"you can use the toilet here then" she said
"no, don't worry, I'll go pee in the bush outside" I insisted. I needed to get some air so I could think straight. I stared at Abike and I knew I hadn't said a word to her at all, only my friends were responding to her greetings.
"nice to meet you Aunty Abike" I said as I gave a fake grin and she smiled at me. I swallowed a spit and as I turned to go outside, Stella held me back and spoke,
"Ola, wait, how do you know her name? I've never mentioned her name to you before, not even today sef" She could sense some awkward chemistry, she was smart.
The sweat was beginning to bedeck my whole face. I looked at my friends, hoping to get some support from them, and instantly the two idiots turned their faces away. I knew I was on my own. My penis was beginning to ache me and I knew in the next couple of minutes, if I wasn't careful, I would pee on my body.
"yes Ola, how come you know my name?" Abike asked with a muffled laughter as she folded her hands. I thought to myself what this was, Abike had me by the balls and was playing me well to her satisfaction.
"humm.......errrrrr, well, I think you've mentioned it once to me sometimes" I said while stuttering.
"I have? really? She asked while trying to remember, "I seriously doubt it Ola, is there something you're not telling me?" she asked me again.
"no Stella, I'm serious" I replied her. I tried to cook up the instance and moment when she told me but she had an eidetic memory like myself and wasn't going to be fooled easily.
"actually he's lying" Abike cut in on me trying to explain. I froze and kept quiet. "I'm finished" I thought to myself as I watched her speak. Paul and Dare were equally quiet and watching the drama.
"aunty mi, what do you mean?" Stella asked
I was damn scared as I wondered what effusive and tad unctuous speech or explanation Abike was about to give.
"yes, he's lying, we actually know each other, very very well" Abike added.
That was it, as she said so, I felt the pee ooze off from my penis, I had let out a drop and the tense scenario wasn't helping, I was peeing on my body, I couldn't hold it any longer. And before Abike could continue, I interjected
"sorry to interrupt you guys, but I have to pee now!!!!!!" as I ran out of the room with speed out of the gate to a nearby bush to release the liquid waste.
The feeling of relief and ease as I poured my urine on the green shrubs in front of the Marble Lodge hostel. A few seconds later, the reality or my situation dawned on me.
"fuck!!" I screamed out loudly.
This was a messed up situation. I looked around and only then did I realise that Abike's car was actually parked outside the gate, a wine Toyota Camry. How couldn't I have noticed? I slapped my forehead very hard as I took a deep breath and walked back into the hostel. I pushed the door open and I could see Abike seated on a plastic chair with Paul and Dare smiling and gisting with her from the comfort of Stella's new mattress. Even Stella was in a good mood herself as she stood . "what is happening?" I thought to myself.
"ahn ahn, Olaa, my aunty just told me everything" Stella said as she held my hand upon my entrance.
"humm, she did?" I asked, with a state of confusion face
"yes na" she replied with a smile
Dare and Paul were smiling, Abike was too, I was the only addled fellow in the room.
"I don't understand Stella" I said
"Aunty mi just told me of how she met you at Ado and gave you a lift after you helped her carry her stuffs from the super mart. Later on you forgot your ID card in her car and she brought it all the way from Ado back for you...." she was so gracious while narrating and I listened on with rapt attention waiting for when she would drop a bombshell on me. "....after giving you your ID that afternoon, she gave you and your friends a lift to your hostel junction as you were already done with lectures and was headed home"
"I knew right away their faces were familiar" Abike interjected with a chuckle
"yeah, so now I understand why you guys were so shocked and surprised" Stella added
"we were so very much stupefied actually" Paul said from his seated position on the bed with a grin.
I could sense a weird aura and ambiance. I looked at Dare and he gave me a face to play along. Only then did I realise that Abike had decided to play ball, make it look as if we only just knew each other and nothing amorous was between us. I felt a huge ease as I was glad I was going to live to fight this battle another day.
"but wait" ...I thought to myself, "does Abike know I'm dating Stella or that we've been having sex?". That would change the whole plot, her mood and countenance. But I guess she didn't, all she assumed was that we were all her friends and nothing more was involved. That was probably why she was willing and eager to play along so as not to make Stella suspicious.
"okay, I could deal with this" I muttered to myself, as long as Abike was willing to keep it a secret, I was too, at least for now.
"yes, actually" I said with a cough, .."I was trying to place the face and now its all clear, thank you very much for that day ma" I said facing Abike as I sat in between my friends on the bed.
"oh come on young bloods, let's celebrate" Abike said with a smile as she opened her bag and brought out a bottle of wine to ease the tension, Stella dear, would you please get us some cups from the kitchen"
"yes aunty" she said as the walked into the kitchen compartment.
And with that, for a brief moment, the four of us were left alone, it was awkwardly quiet and I was fidgeting. I avoided eye contact with Abike as she sat in front on us. It was at this moment I knew I had stupid friends.
Immediately Dare sensed this, he brought out his phone and played his ringtone out loud to make it look as if he had a call.
"ma, may I be excused.." he said as he stood up, "..I need to pick this call, its our landlord".
"sure, please feel free" Abike responded. Dare walked past us and out the door. Then it was me, Paul and Abike, Stella was still trying to unearth the cups from her kitchen loads.
Thirty seconds later, Dare peeped through the door and called out Paul
"Paul! Paul! werey, landlord wan follow you talk, come outside!". Without thinking twice, Paul jumped off the bed and ran outside. The two fools had just extricated themselves from this weird situation by faking this phone call. They knew I knew and still did it anyway.
Stella was taking so long in the kitchen and as I sat there alone with Abike, I knew a short tense conversation was looming.
"humm.." I started to stutter, "..maybe I should go check Stella in the kitchen" as I stood up
"Ola, sit your ass down" Abike retorted with a straight face and a deadpan look. My heart began to beat fast again as I slowly sat my "ass" down and hung my head.
"look at me" she continued, I was scared and didn't but she repeated it. "Ola look me, damn it" she whispered sternly.
I struggled to raise my face up and stared into her eyes. She was still as beautiful as the first day we met but I knew this beautiful matured face was angry at me right now.
"young man, you have a whole lot of explanation to do" she said and as I tried to get talking, Stella came into the room with the cups.
"ahan, where are Paul and Dare?" she asked.
"humm, outside" I replied, "let me go get them"
I jumped up instantly toget them as I ran out of the room.
I breathed a sigh of relief, at least for a moment I avoided that awkward scene. I looked around the compound and couldn't find my friends. I walked out of the gate and could see them both outside, beside Abike's car conversing.
"una dey mad o!!" I screamed at them as I walked up to them.
They burst into laughter as they saw me.
"you guys are crazy o, why did you guys leave me there all alone with her?" I asked
"Falodun you are foolish.." Paul replied with a chuckle, "..wasn't it you who first ran out and left us alone with her, sorry, with them?"
"haba, I went to pee nau, see my trouser..." I showed them a wet patch on my fabric, "..I don dey piss for body"
"na shit you suppose shit for body sef" Dare replied and they both laughed.
"guys! guys! this isn't funny nau" I let out.
They weren't seeing the seriousness and severity of this situation. Who would blame them? it was my predicament alone, not theirs.
"alaye calm down" Dare said, "Abike already signalled to us while you were out pissing and we knew we had to play along"
"I must confess, her eye contact and facial messaging game is strong, so don't fret, your secret is safe at the moment from Stella, except you spill yourself, I don't think Abike wants to risk Stella knowing the truth" Paul added
"oh she didn't mention anything about us?" I asked clearly relieved.
"nope, not all" Paul responded.
"thank God" I said, "that was my fear, I guess the situation is still salvageable" I scratched my full blown hair, "okay, let's go inside, Stella is out with the cups".
"wait o, wait o, Ola, something just came to mind, let me ask before we enter" Paul let out as we were walking and almost about to enter the gate.
"okay, what's it?" Dare asked and we stood at the entrance of the hostel gate.
"alright then, my question Ola is that, does Abike know you and Sella are dating? I mean has Stella told her? If she had, I don't think she would react this way o, we should have sense her fury already". He was right, I was thinking the same thing. In fact I had thought it.
"na true o.." Dare added, "because what I'm thinking is that Abike just thinks the three of us are friends with Stella, what will happen if she knows Stella is your girlfriend and that you've been knacking the two both of them simultaneously and spontaneously?".
They both burst into laughter. I let out a smile, I wanted to laugh but I just couldn't, this was a serious matter for me.
"nice one Dare" Paul said as they both shook hands. Seconds later they calmed down and I spoke
"guys, I actually have no idea, I'm fucked! But I pray they both don't find out, at least not yet"
"dude, that basically hinges on the premise that Stella never tells Abike that you are her boyfriend" Paul replied me.
"yes, I hope she doesn't. I think what I'll do is to tell her not to tell Abike that I'm her boyfriend or that we dating. I'll cook up a reason for that when I tell her later on" I replied
"alaye, you should o" Dare said, "okay, make we enter" and we all went into the compound.
As we entered the room, Stella was seated on one of her boxes and Abike still on the chair. The wine bottle was opened and Abike was taking a sip while we got seated.
"Stella, no vex jare, na our landlord call us, we didn't want to be having that conversation in front of your aunty" Dare tried to explain
"he's a very crazy fellow and most times we end up arguing and exchanging words whenever he calls, he likes money too much" Paul added
"its okay guys, no need to explain" Stella said with a smile, "who doesn't like money?... oya pick a mug from the tray on the floor and let me pour you some wine.
We all picked our mugs and Stella poured some wine in our cups. I was beginning to get comfortable now and relaxed as I sipped my wine with a smile just when Abike spoke,
"so, which among you is Stella's boyfriend? I asked her and she refused to tell me saying I should ask you three and the boyfriend would speak up, so who's my prospective brother in law?"
I almost choked on the wine as my eyes dimmed and throat went dry. I looked at Stella, she was smiling as she looked at me, a tad shy but she was waiting for my response. Abike was with a serious face, she was looking at the three of us. Clearly I knew she was hoping it wasn't going to be me. I looked to my left and right at Paul and Dare. The idiots were pretending to still be taking sips at their wine, they weren't bringing their cups down.
I was all alone in this. I would eventually use my mouth to do myself. I looked at Stella and she gave me an alluring look to talk and confirm our relationship. I slowly turned my gaze to Abike and started to stammer.
"humm, errrr... aunty Abike, its... hmm ... me ma" ..Click on link in Bio to purchase the complete eBook.
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The Shugar Mummy
RomanceOla, a 20 year old boy, had just gained admission into the university to study economics in the Federal University of Oye-Ekiti in Oye-Ekiti, Ekiti state. He was about to leave the comfort of his home in Lagos to begin a whole new life in Ekiti stat...