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Chapter Nineteen

I woke up to a miserable, aching pain paralyzing my lower abdomen. Rather than laying on the warm grass spot I had tossed and turned in all night, my back stretched out near the entrance of the cave against the damp rock floor. A crisp and earthy scent filled the air. Dust fell from the ceiling and painfully burned the insides of my nose.

Rain came in torrents from outside, filling the main entrance of the underground chamber. I was surprised to see the logs had not fallen down. Murky water mixed with thick mud covered the whole lower front side. I pulled my foot from the puddle, shaking it off.

For a minute I wondered if I was going to have to swim my way back out of this cave, but decided that I would only do so if I absolutely had to.

I peered outside as I was crouched on the top of a single dry rock that curled towards the wall. There was no way for me to know if it is morning or evening, for a vessel of stormy clouds hid the sun to make sure of that. Dancing trees and bushes appeared to be gray from the dark hue that escaped through cracks in between clouds.

Rain used to scare me as a child; my mother would tell me that the angels were weeping from humans sin. I wondered if there is one around me now crying for me. Maybe someday I will know. If I ever meet one, that is. When I would freak out about the "monster" under my bed, my mom would tell me that it was my guardian angel. Is it here with me now? Or did it leave when she did?

I do not know, but I do understand how utterly alone I feel right now. If I could have anyone in my company, I would. Other than Lorenzo. But hell, I would even love to have Marisa here with me. Not in this situation, of course, but if I could even speak with her on the phone, I would in a heartbeat.

My thoughts were almost driving me crazy, tormenting me with terrible images. Visions of dying kept coming to me, such as seeing others dead. Like Amanda. Memories of what happened to her keep replaying in my mind.

I do not love Amanda, but I did not want her to die. I cared for her as any normal human would care about the well-being of another, even a stranger. Lorenzo probably told me the truth about that; I do not know how she could have survived the gruesome attack.

My knees fell to the grass pile at the back of the cave. As I landed on it, I could not help but think that soon it would just be a bundle of mush that floated with the flood, and maybe I would just sail away with it.

A dry heave escaped me. Nausea pooled in my belly, giving me an urgently sick feeling. I gagged again, but nothing came out—I had thrown up everything in my stomach hours ago. I had lost track of time since I first entered the cave.

It is unknown whether the pain in my belly or throbbing headache that etched through my skull fogged my focus, but one of them sure did. Probably both now that I think about it.

I clenched my knees and whimpered as another sharp ache struck my stomach. How long will this illness last? Regret filled me as I reflected on drinking the creek water. That was such a mistake. I seem to be making a lot of those lately, but I am not exactly a survivalist. I never had being kidnapped and then escaping into a forest on my agenda.

I clenched my eyes shut, tears escaping the sides as it felt like needles were repeatedly being stabbed in my intestines. My vision dotted, and I could no longer see. The cave disappeared from sight.

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As I sat up, a wooziness caused the rock walls around me to whirl. I crawled to the entrance of the cave. Welted bites covered my arms and legs from the ants that took shelter with me.

I watched as one nibbled on my hand. A sting ran through it as the tiny black creature tasted my skin. My palm barreled down, slapping it to its death.