Just This Much

05: Mail

Lilac woke up, feeling a warm hand holding her cold one. Thinking that he finally came back, she hurriedly opened her eyes;

"Kio—"

Soonho sadly smiled and leaned away. She stilled for a couple of seconds, before taking a deep breath and slowly sitting up.

"Soonho, you're here," she then mumbled, giving him an apologetic smile.

"I'm with the guys. We're here to check up on you."

Lilac nodded, "don't worry about me." There was another moment of silence as she contemplated if she should voice out the question that has been bugging her. "Did you visit him too?," she still ended up asking.

"Yeah."

Her eyes were instantly filled with unshed tears, "Soonho..." her voice cracked, sounding as if she was close to begging. She gripped her friend's hand, "can you tell him to come back to me? Please? I miss him so much. I can't—"

"Li," Soonho sighed, closing his eyes to control his own emotions. He can't believe he is seeing the girl in this state. How can that bastard let this happen? "Don't do this to yourself," he whispered, looking straight into her eyes.

Her traitorous sobs eventually escaped her pale lips and for the umpteenth time, she broke down. All this time, she thought she had no tears left to cry, but every time reality decided to show up in her face, she becomes a crying mess.

"This must be my karma for hurting you back then, huh?," she swallowed hard.

Soonho immediately frowned, "I never wanted you to get hurt in any way, especially like this. You can hurt me anytime and I will never wish for you to experience the same."

She closed her eyes, realizing how mean her words were. "I'm sorry..."

"You'll be fine, you still have me. You still have us," he smiled, reaching out to wipe her tear-streaked cheeks with his bare hand. "Someday, we'll find this moment funny and we'll laugh at how stupid you looked."

For the first time in a while, Lilac genuinely smiled. She can't help but stare at the boy in front of her, who she had given a heartbreak at one point of their lives. Still, he stayed beside her, constantly making her smile and protecting her.

She has always felt guilty for the pain she made Hwang Soonho experience, the most precious human being she's ever known. All he did was love her, never asking to be loved back.

"I wish..." she found herself saying, "in our next life, I won't have to break your heart anymore. You will love someone who will love you back just the same way you love her, because that's what you deserve."

Soonho looked down, just so he could hide that one drop of tear which managed to fall. "Don't say that, I never regretted loving you," he managed to say.

"Remember what I told you back then?," Lilac solemnly smiled, "I still believe you're my soulmate, Hwang Soonho. We met because we're meant to stay in each other's lives forever. You won't leave me like him, right?"

He looked up, not minding to hide his tears anymore. "I won't, I will never leave you."

•°.⏳•.°

She woke up late the next day, exhaustion has really taken a toll on her. The first thing she saw was the light meal on a tray atop her bedside table, next was the mini calendar next to it—where a particular day was encircled with a purple pen. Tomorrow is supposed to be their third year anniversary, and she's supposed to get ready for her surprise tonight at his apartment... if only, nothing went wrong.