Bliss

Chapter 17: Showering

Not really sure about this chapter, but I hope it clears up a few things?? Enjoy!

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Chapter 17: Showering

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I stare blankly as they lower the coffin into the grave, trying to hold in my irritation as my mother clutches to my arm, sobbing uncontrollably.

Get a grip.

I shrug her off, stepping forward so that I can peer over to see the grave hit the ground with a soft thump, a cloud of dirt puffing up around it.

The picture of my Nana Belle on the surface of the coffin, and the other little trinkets and flowers people had put there, don't waver as the coffin hits the ground. I guess Nana really wants to keep all those little things with her.

She always was a hoarder.

Damn it! How can I be such a bitch? Why can't I cry? Why can't I shed one tiny tear for my dead grandmother?

I mean, I know that technically she was already gone, with her dementia and all that, but this is a last goodbye! And still, with all these memories flooding through me, I'm sad, no devastated, and yet, I still can't cry.

Maybe I have ran out of tears. Oh my god, can that happen? It would just be my luck, wouldn't it?

To run out of tears?

If I can run out of tears, do you think that men can run out of jizz?

Oh for fuck sake, I'm thinking of jizz at my Nana Belle's funeral. She'd slap upside the head and jab me gently in the ribs with her knitting needles like she always did when I said something inappropriate.

I laugh out loud at the thought.

Shit. There's a place and a time, and this definitely isn't the right time to be laughing.

I clear my throat awkwardly, as my mother scowls at me. Biting the inside of my cheek, I turn to look behind me at the crowd of weeping people in black. My eyes skim their faces with no recognition, except one.

A cold jolt goes up my spine as I see one face right at the back of crowd, watching me expectantly. He even has the cheek to give me that stupid half smile.

Freakin' Cole.

I grimace at him and turn back around. What is he even doing here? What the actual fuck gave him the idea that he was welcome?

Wow, it's a sad day when you're more upset at the sight of your ex boyfriend, than you are at the death of your own grandmother.

The priest finishes with his speeches, the coffin has been covered by grass and dirt and he announces that the food and refreshments will be available at the social club just next door to the church and in a collective movement every one just starts to shuffle in that direction.

I grip my mothers arm harshly, stopping her.

"What is Cole doing here?" I hiss at her harshly. She gives me a wounded look.

"I invited him, of course!" She says, proudly.

I look at her as though she's an idiot. Well, I mean she is an idiot, but...

"And why would you do that?" I try to say it as calm as I can, I try to hold in my anger.

I don't want the guards to see me lose it, they'll cart my ass straight back to Rosedale without hesitation.