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When Stan said he should invest in a sustainable alarm clock, he didn't mean Richie Tozier.
"Attention, Attention" Richie shouted with his microphone from the street, causing Stanley and several other of his neighbours to jump out of bed suddenly, to see which zombie apocalypse had started. "Stanthony get the fuck out of bed!" He lowered his megaphone, waiting for a response, checking his watch disappointed.
"I repeat!" Richie shouted down the megaphone, "Stanley Uris, I kindly request that you depart from your accommodation!" He added in some form of English accent, which would only be recognisable if he was a rich land owner in Renaissance times, even then he was pushing it.
"Shut the fuck up!" One of Stan's neighbours, from their window and then another. It kind of reminded Stan of that scene in Beauty and The Beast, but no one was that nice in Derry.
Richie was quick to face the direction of where the voice came from "Affirmative!" He said before turning to face Stanley's house again. How his parents had slept through this made Stan consider that perhaps they had been murdered in their sleep...saved from Richie. "Last chance Stan before I start singing the entire Frozen soundtrack again" There was a loud series of protests from Stan's neighbours.
Stan groaned opened his window, "What the fuck is wrong with you?" He asked, looking out of his window at the tall boy, his curls still messy from sleep. He wasn't used to being woken up by a fucking military drill. "Where did you even get that?"
"Police station, isn't cool?" Richie asked excitably, still surprised they even lent it to him. Stan didn't want that, he wanted NAMES, so he knew who do take to court for aiding and abetting. "Stan get changed, I'm not having you sleep through prom again, not now that you're going to be singing"
"That was one time, I was hungover!" Stan complained "I'm not the one going to be singing, there is no way you're winning this Rich"
"Famous last words" Richie's voice boomed back at him and Stan rolled his eyes. "See you soon"
"Fuck off" Stan shouted back and Richie laughed.
"Affirmative!" Richie confirmed and Stan tried to hide his smile, but failed, miserably. "I love you too Stan...did everyone hear that? I fucking love my wife Stanley Uris!"
"Bye Richie!" Stan tried again and Richie grinned at him "I'm the husband!" Richie saluted him before picking up his bike and cycling away. Stan gave his neighbours an apologetic look, before retreating back to bed. The story of how he got evicted from his house he guessed.
Stan had been to a decent amount of parties in the past, birthday parties where you played pass-the-parcel and ate mini sausage rolls, school discos where you had glow sticks and danced to Barbie Girl and the Makerina, then teen parties, just to get pissed and high. Stan had sort of formed an internal hierarchy over the years, with the God God tier parties being any party with a Colin the Caterpillar cake, and alcohol. So yeah, Stan had been to a few different types of parties in his lifetime, but up until now I had never been so ready to summon some form of sleep paralysis demon than go.
