Half Sick of Shadows » Band of Brothers [2]

42: Where You Want to Go

"I think that one of these days,' he said, 'you're going to have to find out where you want to go. And then you've got to start going there. But immediately. You can't afford to lose a minute. Not you." - J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

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The blissful somewhat-civilian life we've discovered for ourselves in Austria seems to have come to an abrupt end. Will's daily contact with HQ has gotten us a bit more information than the usual 'sit tight, information to come' today. I know because he came bursting through the door to Tom and I's room and bid me come to help him with it.

The message I end up transcribing based on what we receive makes my heart drop. 'Possible extraction. M2-29. Await orders.'

M2-29. The twenty-ninth of May. That's tomorrow. We could be sent back out again. Tomorrow.

Martin's the first person to respond after I've read the message aloud. "'Await orders'? They're saying the extraction would be tomorrow. How long are they going to leave us in the dark?"

"We were supposed to be finished with this," Tom mutters, rubbing at his eyes. "The bloody war's over."

"Are they just going to make us be spies forever?" I ask with a short, bitter laugh. "Is that what this is? Have we unknowingly signed our souls away and this is just it for us now?"

"They never actually said it was just for wartime," Will mumbles, face blank. "Not to me, anyway."

"Nor me," Martin adds with a grimace.

Tom and I share a look. "Not to us, either," he finally says. "We just kind of assumed..."

If this is what the rest of my life is going to look like I don't know how I'll handle it. I don't know if I've got anything left in me to give. I just feel utterly exhausted. There's no other word for it.

"When are they likely to update us?" Tom asks, eyes darting between Will and I.

Will and I share a look, and then a shrug. "Standard procedure is to transmit either in the early morning or late at night. The fact that this has come mid-morning could mean it's an emergency or..." I sigh, shrugging once more. "I don't know."

Will nods. "I've been contacting them at 0515 hours every morning since being here. They didn't say anything earlier so I think it being an emergency is the most likely explanation. That means we could get updates at any time." His eyes dart between the three of us before landing on me, looking just as tired as I feel. "Jules and I will have to sit by the radio and wait."

So we do.

The transmission initially came in at 1012 and by the time lunch rolls around we've still heard nothing. Will takes the radio along with us down to the hotel's restaurant where we tend to eat during the day, and I take along a pencil and paper in order to scribe whatever we receive. And still, nothing.

Due to the fact we're expecting orders at any given moment we have to steer clear of everyone else. Tom and Martin have the luxury of leaving the hotel room we've set ourselves up in every now and then for a break; unfortunately for us, Will and I don't.

When Tom announces he's leaving to stretch his legs for a bit, I gently take ahold of his wrist. When he looks down at me where I'm sat on Will's bed I ask him quietly, "If you see Gene will you tell him what's going on? If we do have to go I don't want to just disappear."

Tom nods and squeezes my shoulder with his other hand. "Yeah. Yeah, of course, I'll tell him." He shoots me a small smile which I try to return and then Will and I are left in silence, the only sounds being Tom's retreating footsteps and the water running from Martin's shower.