The Survivors Of Eden

12

*two weeks later- Rowan has now recovered*

We walk through Mira's garden, admiring the familiar and nostalgic sight of the blossoming flowers. I see small headstones, rocks engraved with names. This is the resting place for all those who gave their lives to fighting the war. They are remembered here as they should be, beautifully and one with nature. Every budding flower is part of their life. A sign that they are true and alive, no matter how out of reach. Just as I am as the EcoPan. Nontangible, but within all things. I try to remind myself of that as I see where we left Mira. I can't bear the thought of passing that sort of pain on to my family. But of course, I won't. Now that Lachlan believes in me, all the people who mean most to me will find peace in knowing that I am helping humanity forever. 

But first, we need to get the EcoPan working. Ash, Angel, Carnelian, Flame, Lark, Lachlan, and finally myself make our way to the fountain where the nob to open the EcoPan control room is underwater. Of course, the statue of Aaron Al-Baz had been removed, considering he wasn't exactly the hero we had all made him out to be. When we walk into the room its pitch black and takes a moment for our eyes to adjust. 

The wires running across the side of the room and into Aarons glass coffin look darkened but I assume it is a trick of the light. When I reach out to touch the wires I am met with ash in my hands. The wires are completely burnt and fried. 

"You can fix it, can't you?" I ask Flame. 

"Obviously I should be able to but...Rowan, I think we have bigger problems." Flame is looking at Aaron's body in the casket and I realize the same thing she already has. "It will take me a few weeks to get the EcoPan running again but Aaron has already been down here a while..." I realize the EcoPan was the only thing keeping his one thousand year old corpse alive. He's been down here for two weeks, decomposing. His glass box is probably the only thing holding in the stench. I feel my stomach drop. I hadn't even thought of him. The EcoPan can do a lot but it can't bring Aaron back from the dead. Not after two weeks. I immediately want to blame myself for being so stupid, not even thinking of what would happen to Aaron, but I know there was nothing I could have done. I could never have gotten back to Mira's garden in time to save him. 

And the realization sets in that I can't be the EcoPan on my own. I was only just the humanity in the EcoPan, he was the machine. I will be completely lost to the machine without him sharing the burden of the whole world with me. It is too much to bear alone. And Yarrow, considering she's only a whisper in the back of my mind, doesn't count. She won't stop me from being swallowed by the EcoPan. And what has changed? We exposed Aaron Al-Baz for the monster he is and still depended our whole existence on him. How can we go on without him- without the EcoPan? And how could I be so selfish to consider putting my own life above saving the whole future of humanity? I have no choice but to become the EcoPan again. I will be nothing less than a machine but it will work. I will keep humanity safe. 

"I am still the EcoPan," I remind them, trying to keep my voice steady. "Let's go back to Harmonia and make sure everyone knows we're safe. I'm sure they were worried after we left so abruptly. Flame, can you start working on repairing the EcoPan tomorrow?"

Flame nods, being the first to leave as usual. The others only linger for a moment, giving me pitying and worried glances. They don't entirely understand what this means for me, but from what they heard about my time as the EcoPan, they know that this can't mean anything good. They know being the EcoPan will be a crushing load to bear. Lachlan, however, hangs behind the others the same way he did back in Secundus when I was recovering. I try to ignore him, trying to push back the emotion in my throat. I feel like I'm being asked to give up my life all over again. For all the talk I had about how I will always be the EcoPan, being a somewhat normal human the past few weeks has admittedly been nice. I will always miss the small things about being human. But it's too much to think about that now. I look at the glass coffin that I was held in all those months, and I press my hand to the glass. I get chills when I remember doing the same thing, except on the other side.

"I don't want to talk, Lachlan," I whisper, but he stands on the opposite end of the glass box and looks at me until I look up at him. 

"You aren't responsible for the fate of all of humanity," Lachlan says simply but powerfully.

"I know you would like to think that's true," I say, "but I took on a responsibility as the EcoPan to protect the Earth and to protect..."

"I don't give a damn about your responsibility," he interrupts me. His voice is gentle but I see a fire behind his eyes. A fire fueled by the pain of watching me leave him time and time again. I have never been good at keeping my promises to him, most of all. "You're a seventeen year old girl, Rowan. No decision you make now should have to be permanent. You don't have to sacrifice everything you are to save humanity. If humanity can't live without one teenage girl then I say let it burn."

"You don't mean that," I sigh. "We have fought so hard for so long, Lachlan. We have both given up everything. Not just to free the people of Eden or free the people of Secundus but to save everyone. And how can I sit by when I know I can help them? I thought you understood, Lachlan."

"I did, understand... but this is different from last time. You'll be a machine. It will be like you've become nothing."

"You don't know what it will be like," I try to remind him but I can see him getting defensive. He's silent for a long time then tears fill his eyes, quickly blinked away.

"I should have never fallen for you again," he admits, and his voice waivers. I know what he means. He let himself get close again. He let himself need me again after I had been gone for so long. I know I've hurt him in unimaginable ways. All of them. I have a niche for disappearing and reappearing at will. 

"What do you want me to say?" I ask and I feel the courage muster in my chest. I'm finally ready to address something that I've never openly said. I'm finally ready to settle this topic. "Do you want me to choose you or Lark? If you regret falling in love with me, do you want me to choose her instead? What do you want?" He seems taken aback by the honesty. 

"I can't make that decision for you," he says, looking confused.

"I know what I want. I want someone who understands me. I want you. But if it's easier for you to walk away...if it's easier for you to hate me for becoming the EcoPan then that's fine. Because I know that if we spend the next few weeks together it will be even harder to let me go in the end. If you decide you don't want me I'll go to Lark. But I need to know what you want."

"You know what I want," he says without hesitation. "I've always just wanted you."

He wraps his arms around me and I feel safe again. I feel that even if we have to let go of each other in a few weeks, this time will be enough. This is enough. 

~~~~

Sign the petitions in my conversations and bio. Also, don't make any predictions about what's gonna happen cause I've had this story planned from the beginning and don't want any spoilers :) and there should be more petitions posted today or tomorrow for sure, I haven't updated them in a few days which is my bad.