TW: PAST AB/SE, PAST NONCON
—————-
Ako was relieved every time she was reminded that Roxi and Tai aren't the same.
They could be similar at times, but never in the bad ways.
Roxi reminded her of the good times, sometimes. The way he would wrap his hands around her waist and hold her and tell her how good she is and how lucky he is, and back then she believed him. She didn't ache as he told her how she was his.
She never ached when Roxi told her that.
But it never went farther. Lingering touches didn't turn into grabs. "Are you okay?"'s never turned into "Shut up and take it."'s.
She never worried about why Roxi held her. About if she would be able to walk in the morning, and if Roxi would be there to help if she couldn't.
The scariest moment had to be after a fight. It was something little, they hadn't even argued for long. They hadn't even yelled. But it made her feel sick. She still broke down crying before she could fall asleep because she was so scared that if she closed her eyes Roxi would leave her. That she would be left with a note and to wait for breathless weeks until she returned and fucked her until she couldn't remember why she was ever angry with her.
She never left. And she never made Ako feel silly for fearing it.
She never raised her voice, and she was never upset when Ako wanted to hang out with her friends. She didn't insist she always had to be there, and that made Ako want her to be there more. Because it was her choice. She didn't feel like she was guilty. Like she needed someone to make sure she stayed in line. Roxi never made her feel like that.
Roxi never hit her.
Roxi said violent things, but never seriously. Roxi held her close and it didn't feel suffocating. Roxi asked if she could make it any better, if she could help her hurt less.
Ako hadn't realized how long she waited for someone to tell her it's okay to still hurt.
Roxi let her cover hickeys, she never got offended by that. Roxi told her that if she ever made her hurt more than she wanted to tell her, because it's okay to tell her.
Ako safe in her arms, because Roxi didn't suffocate.
Because Roxi isn't him.
