Crash Landing on You - Edelweiss Diaries

Part 21 - Homecoming II

No amount of preparation can help with some of the tragedies of life.

His words echoed inside her head. But she wasn't him. Stoicism didn't help when it was a debate of the life and death of the loved one whose words were everything to her. It was more than eighteen hours now and there was still no news of the airplane. If not for the life she harbored inside her, she wouldn't have persisted through the long night filled only with a piercing void and unknown.

Laying on the stone-cold floor of her living room, her body was curled in a fetal position. Regrets raged through her like that of a storm. She'd hung up on him, without so much as a note. Opening the app, she looked through the message that had wreaked havoc in her all night.

But how can I choose between protecting you and your happiness? Is there a choice at all?

If I knew a fire is about to blow in your direction, how can I pause to check in if I should take action?

This is my own selfishness that's on display. This is the lesser human in me who stands bound in attachment not wanting to let anything steal the smile that I cherish.

And yet, it's I who have hurt you...

Perhaps this is the only way I know to protect you, Yoon Se Ri. If this is not acceptable to you, won't you teach me? I want to learn. If there is another way to put your well being above all else and still keep that smile of yours intact, I'll give my everything, my luv.

Every word of his note set-off ripples of pain inside her. Clutching the phone to her chest, she sobbed endlessly. When there was no hope left in her, despair paralyzed her to that spot.

The day he'd bid goodbye at the front door of his outpost home came to mind. He'd secretly followed them, misleading her to believe that he was unaffected by her leaving. In order to protect her, he'd risked his own life and taken a bullet then. But that instant she'd not taken offense, had she? She'd not insisted that he should have discussed his plans with her.

All those instances he'd struck deals with his father or the Senior colonel to get her safely back home, not minding the repercussions, weren't done with her acknowledgment.

So was the case when he'd crossed the border. Then too, she hadn't been miffed that she wasn't in the know. Or that he'd wanted to keep her safe from Cho Choel Gang.

All those times, he'd momentarily decided for her, keeping her safety top of mind, just the same.

Perhaps this is the only way I know to protect you, Yoon Se Ri.

He'd been the same man all along, what had shifted was only her perspective.

When does all that was perfect and made him a knight in her view, suddenly turn imperfect? Or be interpreted as losing control of her life to him?

I'm sorry, Ri Jeong Hyuk'sshi... She cried harder, with a heaviness that threatened to cleave her chest.

Streams of twilight peered through the blinds. She didn't believe she would last another day without knowing he was well.

If only she'd told him that they were going to have a baby... Heavens! please be safe for our child, even if not for me... just stay safe, no matter where you are.

Through her sniffles and weakened senses, she heard the door unlock. Slowly, she sat up, her eyes worried there was an intruder when she was helpless at best, unable to defend herself. The sobs were thicker now, wallowing in a strange sense of self-pity that her spent and drained body had even given up on instincts of self-preservation.