When I started university, I was one of those people who thought their future was all laid out, that whatever had to happen would happen no matter what they did. One of those people who did not live their lives to the fullest, the anguish of the sword of Damocles threatening to fall at any moment completely holding them back. Of these resigned and lonely people, unable to accept anything other than their loneliness and their fears. My existence was dull, colourless.
And then I met her.
Gwendolyn Jones. Gwendolyn and her carelessness. Gwendolyn and her contagious joie de vivre. We met in the second semester of our first year. I would always remember the day we met; it was a mild April day. That day, I was on my way to one of my course mates' room, Tessa, to work on an important assignment that we had to do in pairs. But it was her green eyes that I met when I opened the door. And it was a love at first sight.
A bloody love at first sight.
It was like in the movies, or the romance novels, it was something almost magical, and dazzling. Something hit me when I saw her, I felt a heat wave invade my body. I could not detach my eyes from her piercing gaze. I felt my cheeks heat, I probably turned beet red.
"Hey! You're Ashton, right?"
The sound of her voice had me shivering. It was so clear, so warm. She smiled, and my heart exploded, releasing a bonfire that seemed to take possession of my whole body. This young woman was dazzling. I noticed she started blushing as well. We stood there, contemplating each other for what seemed hours, the world seemed to have stopped running around us. Tessa brought us back to reality by introducing us to each other. She was Tessa's roommate and best friend. That day happened three years ago; we have never left each other since. It has also changed my life. By her side I lived years full of carelessness, laughter, and discoveries.
***
A first ray of sunshine passed through the room, pulling him gently out of sleep. He blinked, dazzled. He turned his head to the left, his eyes slightly wrinkled. A broad smile appeared on his face when he recognized the mass of red and curly hair. Gwendolyn, sleeping peacefully near him. She turned to face him and opened her eyes. Her beautiful green eyes swollen by tiredness. She smiled at him and rubbed her face. She leaned over and gently kissed his forehead.
"Hello, my love."
She placed one of her hands on the young man's cheek. He placed his hand on hers and blinked. His smile vanished. Only his own hand was on his cheek. His gaze was frozen on the pillow. A tear ran down his cheek when the reality hit him. He swiveled on his back before letting the sobs submerge him.
Ever since, he had been alone.
He could not get used to her absence, her painful absence. Today was her birthday. She would have turned 24. He leaned on the bed, every muscle in his body was sore. He felt like he was on a pitching boat. He pulled himself out of the bed slowly and with difficulty, placing his feet awkwardly between the bottles that littered the floor. The young man left the room slightly stumbling. Ash could not help but stop at a door.
Her office.
He had never set a foot there since her death. He stared at the door, before taking a deep breath and placing his hand on the handle. He opened the door delicately, trembling somewhat. Nothing had changed, everything seemed to have stayed exactly where it was from the day she left the apartment. Her energy still permeated the room, even though everything was frozen in time. He hesitated at length before entering the dreaded room. Her coffee cup was still there after all this time, the traces of her usual burgundy lipstick now seemed to be part of the object.
