Lena's POV
I missed Kara. Terribly. I missed her smile. I missed her laugh. I missed her terrible jokes. I missed her neediness to kiss me when I got home from work. I missed her eyes closing as I watched her fall asleep in my arms. It had been a week without her and I missed her. But she wanted kids. And I didn't. I tried to portray why but it was difficult to put into words. My childhood consisted of a mother. But that mother held no love, pride or emotion towards me. Maybe it was because I was adopted. Maybe it was because I wasn't as good at everything as Lex. Whatever the reason, she didn't care for me. It didn't help that my dad was also cold and never talked, only hit. My brother becoming a deceiving mass murderer also made me struggle to believe I had any childhood at all. So I couldn't have kids. I couldn't be a mother because I had no role model to show me how. I couldn't have a happy family because I had no role models. The amount of anxiety and painful fear I feel when I think about having kids usually renders me speechless. That on top of the fact I am constantly at work. And so is Kara. I just can't see it ever working out. And I was okay with that. But she wasn't, that was the last thing she said to me when she walked out of our shared apartment last week and hasn't come back since.
Kara's POV
I was heartbroken. Lena is and will always be the love of my life. But ever since I was taken into the Danvers home and welcomed into the exhaustingly elated household, I can't get the dream of recreating it for my own kids out of my head. I want kids. She doesn't. I still don't get why she doesn't. She didn't even give me an explanation, just froze there for 5 minutes before a small ,'Kara I'm sorry but I- I don't want kids.' fell out of her mouth. After that I had gotten mad, asking her why repeatedly. She hadn't answered, her eyes hooded with an unknown emotion to me. When I was worn out from asking, I left. I left because I didn't know what else to say. Like I said Lena is the love of my life. But so is having children. And if she can't give it to me then I- I don't know where that takes us.
I've been crashing at Alex and Maggie's place, praying she'll knock on the door and say 'I do want kids'. I know it's misplaced hope. I just can't wrap my head around why she doesn't want them.
Lena's POV
I was working late again, like I had for the past week, drowning myself in paperwork so I don't drown myself in alcohol instead. That was when I heard a crash from outside my door. The sound was followed by my door being kicked in, and a familiar face smiled at me. A cold shiver ran down my spine as I looked back at my brother. How had he escaped prison?
'Hey little sister. What a nice office you have.' His voice rang out, steely and a facade of warmth. I quickly but stealthily clicked the supergirl caller Kara had given me when I found out. I didn't care for the issues we had right now, if my brother was here that meant someone had or will be getting hurt tonight.
'Lex. To what do I owe this horrendous affair?'
'I just came for a little chat.' He smirked at me and sat down in the chair in front of my desk. The chair Kara usually sits on.
Just then I heard a swoosh near my balcony. Kara walked in in her supersuit and glanced at me before realising Lex was here.
'Lena what is it I'm really bus...' she trailed off as she saw my brother. 'Lex.' She said with distaste evident in her voice.
'Awh did my sister run to her girlfriend yet again?'
Kara and I looked at each other, me for her reassurance and her to glare at me with anger.
'I don't think we're girlfriends anymore.' Kara said seriously.
My heart fell. I didn't realise the act of her walking out meant we were over.
'What?' I asked quietly.
'Look Lena I want kids you don't. I don't know how we can get passed it.' She looked at me with sadness and pity in her eyes.
'Ha. Imagine any little sister with kids? Not a chance. How could you be so stupid Kara? Our mum was literally the worst to Lena, Dad hit her daily and I. Well I turned into a murderer didn't I? Not the greatest family she had. What makes you think you guys could have a better one?' I gulped, realising for once in my life Lex was right and saying everything I would've said if I actually felt I could breath when Kara originally asked the question.
Kara's POV
'What makes you think you guys could have a better one?' He snarled.
I looked at Lena who had her head down but I could've sworn I saw a tear rolling down her cheek.
'He's right.' She said her voice shaking. 'How could I ever be a good mother when the one I looked up to was ultimately abusive to me every chance she got?'
My stomach dropped. I had made a huge mistake. I realised now why. My need for a perfect family came from the one I was brought up in. Her need for no family also came from the one she was brought up in. She was scared of messing up. How could I not have seen it before?
'Lena I-' I started but was cut off by a huge explosion from outside the building.
'Now that was a fun talk. See you around sister.' Lex said and proceeded to walk out of Lena's office. I was torn between apologising to Lena, chasing after Lex or going to see the damage of the explosion. I chose the latter, leaving Lena still sitting in her chair, a look of shock on her face mixed with the sadness that had appeared when I basically broke up with her.
I flew off her balcony and assessed the damage. It was a school. Oh my god a school. I swooped down and grabbed as many kids as I could out of the fire that had started. The building was collapsing and so I went in one last time, got as many children as I could out of there and watched the school fold in on itself. I internally sobbed, knowing there had still been children in there I couldn't get to in time and their families were going to suffer a huge loss. By the time the ambulances and police had arrived, Lena had also come outside to see what her brother had done. I could see the instant sympathy and sadness she held when looking around at all the frightened kids. I knew she always felt some responsibility for her brothers actions, something I've told her she shouldn't do but she does it anyway. I knew it crushed her to see what he has done. She glanced around until her eyes fell on me. The hooded emotion I saw the first time we talked about kids was there again and I finally registered what it was. Fear. She was scared she would end up like her mother. Scared her own child would go through what she went through. And that fear has been eating away at her preventing her from telling me why she didn't want kids. And I had let it. How could I be so oblivious? I walked towards her and said 'Lena' in a soft but loud voice.
'Supergirl.' She said, matching my tone and calling me that because people were still surrounding us. It was no secret to the media that supergirl and Lena Luthor were dating so I didn't care who overheard us.
'I don't want to have kids if it means I don't get to be with you. People died today, and I just-' I was cut off.
'No.' She said sternly. Panic rose in me. This was it. We were over.
'No' she continued,' we'll have kids. We'll have 50 kids. Because I will be a great mother. I will be great thanks to you. And you'll be great. And I want 50 kids with you K-Supergirl. I don't want them with anyone else and I certainly don't want you to have them with anyone else.'
My heart swelled and I launched myself at her, pressing my lips firmly into hers. She reacted by grabbing my face and pulling me closer to her. I pulled back slight and said,' Our 50 kids will love you just as much as I do.'
