Muntazir مَنتظِر

seven

Furqaan had brought Aamaal back to her rightful abode, his room, their room. She had slept the afternoon away like a tired little baby. The exhaustion and sleepless nights finally caught up to her. The presence of her husband's arms around her acting as a soothing lullaby.

He kept looking at her, fearing that if he blinks she'd disappear. He tenderly caressed her belly, kissing it fervently. The belly that was home to their little angel, if only for a few hours. It was a heart wrenching moment of realization that she wasn't with them anymore.

How much did she suffer before leaving the world? How much did Aamaal suffer when she lost her? What if she hadn't called out for help? What if they never found her before morning? What if it ....
The what ifs wrecked a havoc in his mind.

Why wasn't he there for her? Why did he ever believe that leaving her alone, that abandoning her was the best option? There wasn't a bigger idiot than him.

He knew the miscarriage was nobody's fault but he still could have held her in his arms when she was experiencing the worst kind of pain.

He was so unfortunate yet so blessed. Aamaal was alright and the doctor had informed them that they shouldn't encounter any problem while conceiving in future. Alhamdulillah.

Aamaal could hear him thinking. She could sense his restlessness, even in her sleep. She kissed his chest where his heart lay and tightened her arms around him.

She would lean on to him even more now. This would appease his misplaced sense of guilt. He couldn't have possibly predicted this. Neither could she.

They just had to accept the reality and move forward with nothing but determination to make a beautiful life. Some beautiful children and some beautiful memories.

When they entered the dining room together for dinner there was a pleasant shock on everyone's face. His mama sent a big smile their way and his Baba and brother gave him a warning glare.

He helped her sit down and took his seat beside her. He suddenly felt a small kick to his chair.

"Bad Qaan 'achu. My 'achi." Eshal had hugged Aamaal's legs and glared at him. Bakhtiyaar followed her not really understanding the nature of her rebellion. Shahveer cooed from his mama's lap and Musa looked at him thoughtfully.

He couldn't help but be overwhelmed at their sense of loyalty. He was glad his family has accepted and loved her like their own, even when he was a fool not to.

"That's okay baby. I scolded your Qaan chachu. He's a good boy now. Now who's my sweetheart?!" She kissed both the kids who had run to her rescue like she was a damsel in distress and he the dragon.

"Rweeeeaaaalllly?" Eshal looked up at him with narrowed eyes. Bakhtiyaar was copying her right down to her adorable scowl. They were just too cute. He picked them up and settled them in his lap.

"Sach me Meri Jaan. Qaan chachu is sorry. And thank you for protecting your Chachi. I love you all so much."
Their faces were so serious as if it was a decision of insurmountable deliberation.

Eshal finally gave him a toothed smile and hugged him with her little arms.
Two pudgy arms also copied her and he engulfed them in a bear hug. Shahveer gurgled in acknowledgement with his face smeared with fruit pulp. He didn't have a clue what was happening. It was just too sweet.

Furqaan loved these kids to death!

The adults laughed in mirth seeing their children but Aamaal had a sad smile on her face. A few months later, this army of cuteness would have had an addition from her and Furqaan.

A single lone tear escaped her eyes and she hastily wiped it away. She didn't want to dampen everyone's spirit. Furqaan however had noticed it and looked on with equal fervor.

They shrugged the thought away and decided to live in the moment. Allah had blessed them in innumerable ways. The love they have from their family was proof of that.

Later they all gathered in the lawn for some quality time. Their parents had retired to their room, not wanting to stay up so late. The kids were also asleep. Their day long excursions tiring them.

Azaan and Rayyan Bhai had occupied the couch and their wives sat beside them. Furqaan was left with two single seaters and he shook his head at their immaturity.

They wanted to keep him apart from his wife. He'd show them. They were brothers. They shared the same juvenile mind!

Aamaal came with a tray laden with coffee and hot chocolate. They each took their preferred drinks and his wife was just about to sit on the other single chair when he gently pulled her in his lap, minding the hot drink.

"Bhai! Looks like our little Qaan here has finally embraced his besharam side. Apne bade Bhai aur bhabhi ka bhi lehaaz nahi hai isse. Ya Allah khair!" Azaan teased him, all the while moving his wife closer to him.

Aamaal struggled to get up from her embarrassing throne when all her attempts were rendered futile by her husband's firm grip on her waist. She finally gave up but a permanent blush had settled on her cherub face.

"Ha toh! Mohabbat hai mujhe inse. Nikaah hua hai humara. Aamaal Biwi hai meri, koi bhaga me nahi laya hu inhe." He had the audacity to look smug about it and to top it off even kiss her head. She would die of shame right there.

"Ye hi behtar hai iske liye. Acha hai ki jald hi samajh aaya isse." Rayyan spoke sternly. Duaa nudged him to stop being grumpy. They were newly weds and had just made up after a huge separation.

"Maaf kar dein na Bhai mujhe. Aamaal ne bhi   mujh bewakoof ko maaf kardiya hai. I don't know why but I'm glad she did." Aamaal just hid her face in his chest.

Looking at them Rayyan finally gave him the first smile in a week. All was right with the world again.

It was much later in the night when Aamaal couldn't sense her husband's presence beside her. She woke up with a start. Was it all a dream? Was he not here? She then saw him sitting by the window.

His shoulders were shaking and it looked like he was crying. Her heart went out to this strong man who was devastated by the death of their baby.

She went and straddled him kissing his tears away.
"Why did she leave us Aamaal? Was I not worthy of being her father? Did she not see the pain you were in?" He looked like a scared child then and she just held him and cried along.

"Malak is an angel now and looking over us all. She will be the cord that pulls us into jannah. Have faith my love. She won't like seeing her strong baba crying. She's probably teaching our other children how to create a ruckus. I bet they'd be the naughtiest kids ever." She gave him a watery laugh. She'd later realize she had never uttered truer words.

Furqaan smiled at the picture she created. He wanted that. All of the naughtiness and all of the love. It was the last time they would remember their lost baby girl with sorrow.

Their beautiful baby girl, Malak.

She led him to bed and eased all his hardships away with her tender love and care. Even the strongest of sinners needed reprieve. She wanted to be his strength just as he was to her. Together they will create a better life and a beautiful future.