You Look So Perfect

Chapter 12

*Ashton's POV*

A.J: It's fine, I completely understand. No I didn't go to bed, I'm wide awake and could use someone to talk to. Your just in time.

Thank god she didn't go to bed. A major weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

Me: Oh good. What do you need to talk about?

A.J: Anything really. I mean I'm just going through issues and I have to get them off my chest. I feel like you'd listen to me plus your the only one I'm texting.

Me: Of course I'll listen, tell me everything.

A.J: Ok, this is a little weird because I haven't told anybody this, not even Violet or Ariana. So my parents make me feel like shit. That's very straight forward and may seem like I'm asking for a pity party but it's true. It seems like I never do anything right, nothing I do is good enough. They have always been so sheltering and when I was younger it never bothered me, but since my freshman year it's been hell. I don't want to come home most of the time, I'm just dreading what's going to happen that night. I want so badly just to leave and get away, I can't stand it anymore, I've just had enough. I'm ready to be on my own. I've been in this dark place for so long and I want to get out, now. I'm tired of feeling like shit, like I'm nothing and I want it to go away, I need it to go away, but it won't and I need help. That's not even everything that's going on.

Me: A.J, I need you to listen to me when I say this, don't ever think your shit or your nothing. You are something and you're not shit, not even remotely close. You are an amazing and beautiful person and I only just met you the other day. I hate to have to know someone I care about feels like this, it hurts me. I want you to know you are cared for and loved by so many people and soon many more. Don't listen to your parents, fuck what they say, if they don't trust you, support you and keep you from being who you are and who you want to be, then screw them, you don't deserve the way they treat you. You deserve so much better love. I'm always here if you need me, always.

A.J: Wow, Ashton thank you so much. You have no idea how much that means to me, really, it means the world to me. I've been waiting so long to hear someone say that and knowing that it's coming from you makes it so much more meaningful. I just feel so lucky, talking to you. Most girls dream of the day they could even just touch your arm as you rush by to get into a van, but here I am texting you as if I've known you for my whole life and it feels amazing. I mean I honestly don't know what to say. So much has happened in just a week.

Me: Your so welcome. I know, normally I don't get close to fans like this. Usually they cry or scream or are so shy and excited they can't talk. We'll take a picture, exchange a few words and I'm onto the next person. I love and appreciate every single fan and I haven't even met all of them yet. This is different and I like it. Except, even though you are a fan, I don't think of you as a fan.

A.J: What do you think of me as?

Me: I think of you as a really close acquaintance.

A.J: Dido

Me: I'm glad to know you feel the same way.

A.J: Can I ask you a question?

Me: Anything

A.J: Why did you choose to talk to me, at the concert? You could have just ignored me, why didn't you?

Me: Because I thought you were beautiful.

A.J: Haha very funny, no really, why?

Me: I'm not joking

A.J: Yes you are, your always being funny and joking around.

Me: Not this time

A few minutes had gone by and she didn't text back. Shit, she's obviously creeped out now. Look what you did Irwin! Nice job, you fucking blew it. Well it was great while it lasted.

A.J: Thank you

The universe loves me tonight.

Me: It's my pleasure.

A.J: Hey, it's late and I should get to bed. I'm about ready to pass out, spending a whole day at the mall and fighting with parents really wears out a person. I'll talk to you tomorrow, goodnight.

Me: Ok goodnight, sleep really well tonight, you deserve it.

I don't know what it is about her, but she has this effect on me that I can't figure out. I mean not only did I tap on her shoulder at the concert because she was beautiful, but because I had this feeling about her, just looking at her put me in this trance I couldn't take myself out of. I know it's weird but I'm not going to lie about how I feel or what I'm thinking.

I know I've only got to know very little about her, such as her favorite bands, favorite color, her two best friends, her shitty life at home and some of her demons. There's so much more to her that I want to get to know. I want to know everything about her, I want to see every part of her, the good and the bad, I want to feel her and connect with her, physically and mentally. I want to leave my fingerprints on a piece of her every being. I have to.

Jesus Christ! I only just fucking met the girl and I'm already feeling like this. I mean she's right, I could have just very well ignored her, but I didn't and now I've got myself caught up in this mess of emotions. I don't know why this all of a sudden happened when all I did was set my gaze on one girl. Now I can't stop thinking about her.

Then that one question that Calum asked me the night of the concert popped into my head, Is is even possible to be this in love with someone in just a short amount of time knowing them?

I don't know how serious he was about his feelings for Ariana but I know my feelings about A.J are serious and are real. To answer his question, I think it is possible to be that in love with someone in just the short amount of knowing them because I think I'm possibly in love with A.J.

Oh god. Look at me, I'm such a soft, cheesy, poetic person and it needs to stop. This must be what people talk about when they say love is fucking weird. I think I need sleep maybe I'll be more manly when I wake up or I'll just go to the gym.

Well ladies and gentlemen, that was late night thoughts with your host Ashton Irwin, goodnight and drive safe.

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A/N

Well this was an interesting chapter to write. I hope you guys enjoyed it. I had a good time writing it. I feel like maybe this was a weird chapter. I hope this didn't screw up the whole story. My goal was to really just dig deep down into A.J and Ashton's emotions and feelings in this chapter, I just hope I did a good job at it. I know it got really personal and that's what was supposed to happen. It may have been a little sudden an weird but I promise things will start to make a little more sense, I guess is what I'm getting at. I have no idea what I'm saying but anyways, I feel weird about this chapter so any feedback you have for me would really help. Thank you all so much for reading and dealing with waiting and my overall weirdness. I really do hope you guys are liking the story. I think it's going well so far. Again thanks so much!xx

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~Alliexx