Just Bein' Gay

Chapter 1

Like in my other story, my chapters are not very long. SORRY! :P

When you are just a young girl, entering the new and scary realm called Middle School, everything seems at stake. Your reputation is on the line. You have to put a name out for yourself. Without some form of popularity, you are just considered a nobody. Your friends are always tethered to you by a thin line. In Middle School, they are handed a pair of scissors and have the choice to cut the only thing that is holding you to them or to stay. You are in a new territory, you are the lowest of the low. Fresh meat is the only thing you are known by to the upper classmen. These problems are faced by every single person no matter if you are ready to solve them or not. Most likely, these problems are the main ones that you will face, unless you are gay; then that is a whole other story.

Sixth grade began that fall and the whole world seemed to be moving in slow motion. The days were just not moving fast enough for me. An hour seemed to be a lifetime. I grew impatient for the day that all that I knew would be thrown out the window. Everything familiar to me would be destroyed. Even though that thought scared me more than anything, I still could not wait for the first day of school. My mind would be a clean slate ready for new teachers to write on.

The first day came and went. My teachers were all extremely pleasant and that had me looking forward to the future. I kept my cool as, one by one, all the friends that I had been so close to in elementary school silently drifted away. Only a couple of my friends stuck around, though. The elegant world that I had built for myself in my six years of elementary school was blown to bits. Leaving nothing but the smoldering ash of what once was. I now had the task of rebuilding that world that I so desperately needed. The first thing I needed: new friends.

But, before I could handle the task at hand, I was faced with a new issue. My heart and mind were working against me. My eyes were drawn to the beauty and form of the same sex. My heart skipped a beat as older, much more developed, girls gracefully walked past me in the halls. I felt butterflies do more than just fly around on the pit of my stomach when I got a "hello" smile from them. I knew it was just a small gesture but, to me, it was like they had just given me the world. This form of want was extremely confusing and scary. I knew what gay was and the characteristics that came along with that description but, I thought that it was a bad thing, at the time. I told myself, each day, each time those feelings arose, that that word shall never, ever describe me.