Tightrope

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Okay, so I'm starting this book because I've got loads of Crankiplier ideas and wanted to have a separate book to put them in, specifically for this ship. To anybody reading, thank you, please vote and comment, it'd mean a lot to me! Anyway, hope y'all enjoy! <3

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Genre: Angst

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Ethan's POV

I can't be everything that you want me to

Fill my mind up with silly things is all I seem to do

And people look like they're specks of dust

when you're this high off the ground

I'm doing my best not to let you down

So, feet, don't fail me now, 'cause

"I don't remember exactly when I became depressed, or even when I got my first suicidal thought. But I sure as hell remember when I realised I was in love with Mark. It was just a normal Sunday, we were lounging around on the couch in the living room watching movies and binge-watching shows when Mark fell asleep and accidentally fell onto my shoulder, snoring quietly and I looked at him and it just clicked. He was my entire world. The only problem was that I wasn't his, and I never would be, he's too good for me, I'd never be worthy of his love. He's gorgeous and talented and funny and kind and happy, way out of my league. I think that's when the depression started, when I realised just how impossible it was for me to ever be with him. About a year later was when I started considering suicide."

I am walking a tightrope

I am walking it for you

I am living on high hopes

Now they're, now they're crashing through, so

I hold my breath and close my eyes

I grab my heart when I realise

I am walking the tightrope for you

"I started becoming distant, staying in my room most of the time and only interacting with people for colab videos or when I bumped into Mark walking around the house when I left my room to get food. Every single day I went into the bathroom, stared at the scars covering my body before getting in the shower, and considered adding two more, straight down my wrists and ending it all. But I didn't, because I still loved Mark and I knew that even if he could never see me in a romantic way, he still cared about me on some level and I couldn't leave him in this horribly cruel world by himself. I couldn't put him through the pain of losing a roommate, even if I thought he probably wouldn't care that much or even be upset by it. So, I tried my hardest to stay strong and put on my best smile around Mark, he never noticed anything was wrong."

I'm fighting with gravity, trying not to fall

But how come the ones we love can make us feel so small?

Oh, people look like they're specks of dust

When you're this high off the ground

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