Red vs Blue Season 3 /w Spartan Matthias

RvB S3 Ep9 "It's a Biological Fact"

Destroyed Desert

The Reds and Blues are gathering around the Warthog, and are arguing, as usual. Strangely, Matthias is nowhere to be seen.

Simmons: Alright everyone, here's what we have to do. We have to sit in eachother's laps, in order to fit in the jeep.

Donut: Awesome! I'll sit in Grif's lap!

Grif: What?! No way!

Sarge: Grif! Now is not the time for your whining! Get in the goddamn jeep, and let Donut sit in your goddamn lap!

Suddenly, Matthias decloacks next to them, scaring them all.

Sarge: Hot damn!

Simmons: Whoa!

Grif: Shit!

Matthias: (unfazed by their reactions) Or you guys could help me make a make-shift trailer for the Warthog.

Caboose: Don't they use those for movies?

Tucker: (unimpressed) Seriously? A trailer?

Matthias: You'd rather travel in Donut's lap?

Tucker: (quick tone change) Nope! Fuck that! Let's make a trailer!

3 hours later...

Fortress Beach

Tex is sitting outside O'malley's base, waiting for the Reds and Blues to show up. Right when she was about to call them again, she finally sees them approaching her position. The scene was.. interesting, to say the least.

Grif and Sarge were sitting in the two seats at the front, Simmons was manning the machine gun. But the weird thing was a medium sized trailer attached to the back of the jeep, containing Donut and Blue team, and it looked like it will fall apart at any moment now. As Tex approached them, she could hear the end of their converstation.

Tucker: Look, I'm not saying it's the BEST song ever, but American Kids is what I grew up with, you know?

Grif: That doesn't make it good, it just makes it nostalgic!

Sarge: Can it, you two. We're in enemy territory now.

Tex arrived at the jeep, and was about to retaliate.

Tex: What took you guys so lo-

However, she was interrupted by a quick and strong bear hug from Matthias.

Matthias: I thought you were gone. I-I thought I'd never see you again.

After recovering from the shock, Tex hugged him back.

Tex: (soothing voice) Don't worry. I'm here now. And that's not gonna change anytime soon.

Tucker and Caboose watch the scene completly unfazed. However, the Reds are completly confused.

Simmons: What is happening?

Sarge: Simmons, I have no idea.

Grif: Is she his girlfriend?

Tucker: No, she isn't. She's his mother.

Reds: WHAT?!

Caboose: Yeah! Come on guys, it's like super obvious.

Donut: Huh. That explains why he's so protective of her.

After a minute, Matthias and Tex unwraps eachother from their hugs.