We Fight! (On Hold)

Chapter 3

Uyai

Oct 10 1962

I gently pushed the wooden windows open and stared out of them, crossing my arms under me and resting my head on them. What was I staring at? I did not know. I was just staring into oblivion, wondering how on earth my life had changed so quickly.

My uncle was gone. I didn't understand how exactly, all I knew was he was gone, and he was never coming back to meet me. I had overhead uncle Etim telling aunt Ekaete but I ran away from the door before they realized I was there.

"Uyai...Ima"

Aunt Ekaete's voice whispered softly behind me but I didn't turn back to look at her, I ignored her even though I was well aware she was calling me. Lost in my own thoughts, I was trying to make sense of a few things.

I rather felt than saw aunt Ekaete and Uncle Etim sit at my sides, uncle Etim occupying my left and aunt Ekaete, my right. Aunt Ekaete buried my face into her arms, offering me some sort of comfort and I didn't complain. I wanted to seek protection in her arms, even if it would only last so long.

I had come to pick up and understand the meaning of some words in their language in the little span of four days. It really wasn't that hard. I learnt that Ima means love and she said it as a way of trying to make me feel better.

It wasn't working.

"Your uncle..." Uncle Etim started.

He stopped and cleared his throat to try again. I really wasn't listening to him, I slowly tuned out of his words as I thought of something my uncle had told me a while ago.

"Has gone to live in a beautiful place...with Jesus right?" I finished for him but still asking at the same time.

I raised my head up, and turned to face uncle Etim, looking directly into his eyes. I really wanted it to be true.

"Ehn? (What?)" He just said.

"My uncle used to tell me that one day he would have to leave me like my parents did, but I should not worry or be sad because he would be in a good place...he is there now right?" I asked again.

He slowly looked at Aunt Ekaete with helplessness in his eyes. I didn't want to be sad. I didn't want to worry, just like my uncle had told me, but I couldn't help the feeling of loneliness in my chest, even though I knew my uncle was happy. I sighed loudly and pulled myself further away from Aunt Ekaete's arms, not wanting to feel comfort anymore. I pulled my knees to my chin and held them in place with my little pale arms, after resting the side of my face on them, I closed my suddenly tired eyes.

"If he went to a good place...why didn't he take me with him then?" I asked no one in particular.

"No!..." Aunt Ekaete quietly exclaimed.

I didn't understand why she made it sound like it was a bad idea to go with my uncle, he was in a good place after all. It would be nice to just go there with him, especially since I was a burden to both of them. Was I not welcome there?

"You're, um...you're too young to go to this beautiful place. Your uncle wants you to live your life here first before you go and meet him...do you understand Uyai?"

I thought about it. So I wasn't welcome there because I was too small. My heart thudded quickly in my chest as I fought hard not to burst into tears. I didn't want to cry like a little baby again. I could hear it's loud uneven beats in my ears, and I closed my eyes tight, trying to return my breathing and heartbeat back to normal, and feeling the heat of my body as it turned red.

"Okay..." I said in a weak voice, too tired to say any other thing.

"You need to rest Ima, come..." Aunt Ekaete said, extending her arms out to me.