Love me, or Hate me

mahir thoughts

When I was born dad made me the heir to his legacy. All the pressure went straight in my head. Mom was just happy that I was born. Turning eight, I made a friend who could have passed as my twin brother. His name was pearl,  pearl was a good friend of mine, we did everything together.

My mom did not like him because of his mom, but she knew how much I care for him so she allowed us to play. When I would get in trouble pearl was there to help me, he was my big bro, but at the same time, pearl was a trouble maker.

My mom didn't want me to hang out with pearl any longer so he was banned. I found out the next day that pearl was leaving for Australia. I had snuck out to go and say goodbye. I shouldn't have because bad people we're after my father.

Both pearl and I were kidnapped, but the one who was rescued and got away was me. Pearl ended up dying in a fire that was in the house.

I ended up losing my memory of pearl because of this incident. Soon when I reached high school, I started making friends, helping people, and doing an activity just so I won't have to come home hearing mom crying and arguing with dad. I was such a bad son and a bad friend. Dad puts it in my head that females were nothing but gold diggers and cheaters.

I don't know when their relationship changed. Maybe it was when he bought his hoes in the house to torment mom, or maybe when mom sent her friend away after finding out she slept with her husband and had pearl. Either way, I didn't like it.

I told mom that I saved a girl from embarrassing herself on stage. She had reminded me of myself. Helpless to help the person he loves. At least I put a smile on someone's face.

Things became worse when I went to college. Dad pushed mom down the stairs, mom became paralyzed. Dad refused to help her and pay for the hospital bills. The hospital had asked me what happened, but I stayed quiet. I was such a bad son. I couldn't do anything but beg my father. I was helpless, while my hatred for my father increases.

A man found me at the hospital and ask me to join his boxing class. I wasn't really into boxing, but he told me he could see the anger building up. He said boxing will be my only way to control that anger. At first, I brushed it aside, but one day I gave it a try.  I actually started liking it.

When I found out my father bought his hoes and child to our house to spite my mom, I was so angry. Mom was heartbroken. She went into another shock. I couldn't help but cry. That wasn't all, you would think good things would happen, but I was wrong.

Dad decided to crush her heart even more with divorce papers. I was such a bad son. What could I have done to help her?...nothing?

As time goes by I met an interesting girl. She was just as helpless as me. I helped her out a couple of times at the hospital, and over time I fell for her charm. Everything about her warm my heart. Mom said she is my first love.

I didn't mind it at all, we went star gazing, and had mini-dates. She told me about her dream, and wish, I wanted to fulfill all of it. I confessed my feeling to her and she did as well. I told her to not worry I will get her surgery done.

Dad of course didn't want to do it. I decided to compete in boxing in America. It was hard to leave my mother alone, no one would take care of her. I went to America and met my long time friend vish, it was unexpected. She helped me a lot and  I won the championship.

Before coming back, I met someone a long time ago. Half of his face was burnt. I knew who it was, pearl. How he survived, I don't know. I told pearl everything about what's been going on. He listened attentively.

When I was leaving I was kidnapped. I don't know who did it, but after some time I learned, I was at a pearl house. When my mask was finally removed, I was in pearl room. Turns out he had mapped everything about my life. Who I had a connection with and details of my life.

I found out pearl left to India, I was trapped. The time I spent in America taught me many things. Pearls' mother helped me without knowing I wasn't her son. As time goes on, I became pearl myself just like how pearl became me.

I formed gangs, I became more wild and dangerous. I ended up getting a connection back home. So I told someone to spy on my so call double ganger. Turns out he fell for the same girl like me, he killed my father, he had his face fixed and my mother was raped by my father.

I decided to go back to India. There I went to the hospital and I found my love arguing with pearl. She had told pearl that he wasn't me. I smiled at this. Pearl was nervous and thought she might ruin his cover. It was after her surgery when pearl was leaving for London. I found out he hired someone to bomb the ambulance.

I wasn't quick enough to stop it, by the time I reached there, it exploded. Words could not explain how much I wanted to hurt pearl. After coming back from London, pearl was shock to find out Shivani was alive. I wanted him to think like that. pearl manipulated shivani family and married her sister. He decided to use Shivani as a way to get bel. I had found out, he fell for bel beauty.

I wanted to try to stop this wedding. I sent mouni a message pretending to be Vikrant, and she sent me a letter that I delivered to the real Vikrant. But unfortunately, it was too late. Bel married pearl and because of that, she was tortured. Those moments pearl would imagine Shivani, wasn't because of love, but of guilt. He mistook it as heart pain, what an idiot.

I decided to stay close to help her. Whenever pearl would go out, I would help her. Treat her nice, and she would think it was a pearl. Those moments where we would gaze at each other and I would say romantic things, we're all me.

I fell for her, but at the same time pity her. She caught me one time in my private room in tears crying. I was shocked to see her. She thought I was a pearl and hugged me. She got drunk one time and we did it. That was before it all ended.

I told bel I wanted her, that I wouldn't let pearl make her suffer anymore. Just thinking about that time the man wanted to harass her at the party, ticked me off. She was drunk, so my cover wasn't blown. When the perfect time came for me to end it all. I did, I knew I wasn't going to hit bel. But I needed to make it seem that way because just like me,  pearl had also fallen for her.

I could have let them just have their happy moment, but pearl has done too much damage for me to let go of this revenge. When he moved bel out the way, he looked at me, with shock. I knew right there and then he knew it was me. At the same time, I could see regret and acceptance.

Everyone deserved a second chance, but did I do the right thing. Could I have lived in the shadow of my double ganger? Would bel love me or hate me for murdering her lover?

Driving off, I wonder why life is unfair. I will have to deal with the damage caused by pearl, was it worth it? Starting all over again. While driving off I could still hear bel scream and shout. Her crying for her no-good lover. If I could go back, I would have never gone to America, then all this wouldn't have happened.

But I can't turn back time, so the best thing I can do is give it time. I don't know when I will come back, but when I do, I will be ready to face what reality has for me. I'm such a bad son, I thought, in tears.

After knowing my story, would you also love me or hate me.