Love me, or Hate me

Bel thought

I'm such a bad person, I never thought I would see the day my life would take a turn for the worse. College year dad found out I was dating vikrant. He was angry because he wanted me to focus on finishing school. He told me if I ever do something unthinkable, than vikrant and I won't be together.

I'm not surprised because dad never liked me, I was the child that's gone crazy. But I still loved dad. Shivani and mouni we're the ones he truly had hope for, I was just the last resort.  I don't blame him because college makes you do stupid things without parental control.

Believe it or not, I drank a lot in college. I had people who hated me. Graduation day was the day my life took a turn for the worse. Someone delivered a message to my dorm. " who are you?" I asked

The man in the helmet just gave me a letter. He says " don't assume a person doesn't care because they don't show it. Your father does and he loves you a lot"

Confused bel had asked him if she knows him. He started his car and drove off. Just when she was about to go in, a mailman appeared and gave her a letter as well. She opened both and found out it's an invitation to see her sister. " what is going on here?" She says

That day I came to see my sister, a man was there with flowers. When he heard me opening the door, he quickly put his helmet on and walk passed me. I tried to say something to him, but he ran away from me. Before it had time to wonder, vikrant told us to hide. He says he saw my sister coming. I looked at the flower and what looks like a ring, so I grab the ring.

I didnt like the fact that someone I didnt even know is trying to pursue my sister. Seeing Shivani's happy face was made me happy. I didn't realize how much she misses us. I looked at the ring and decided to give it to her. That man is probably her lover, so I should tell her.

When I offered the ring, she told me to have it. I didnt want it, but she insisted.

Who would have thought that in three weeks I wouldn't see her anymore?

After the death of Shivani, father had an illness, at that time I and vikrant were living together. Father was against it. He said if I wasn't married fo him than I should not live with him. I told him, I love him, and that we will marry soon. That day I told him, father made a decision to marry me off to a man name Mahir.

When vikrant came home he noticed I was drunk, he was also devastated because his father told him he was moving. Something about his grandfather died. He grabbed my drink and drank himself. Both of us drowning in our Missouri's. We both had looked at one another that night and started making out.

Soon we were on the bed. I dont remember what happend next, but the next day I woke up I was naked. So was vikrant. " did we," I said

Vikrant sitting up looked just as confused "I think we did"

I was screwed. Maybe if I pretend nothing happend dad will forgive me. And that's exactly what happend. My pretense actually works because for the next couple of weeks, I totally forgot about this incident.

The day I was getting married was the worst day of my life. I made a promise to dad while he was dying, and because of that, I had to let go of my love. I sent letters to vikrant to help me, but nothing came back. The only thing that helped me calm down was the promise and Shivani ring.

Looking at it, I tried to put it on. It actually fits. When I took it off. I saw writing inside. " be careful of pearl"

Confused I wonder who is a pearl, why does my sister have to be careful. Did pearl have something to do with my sister's death? I didnt have time to ponder it when I was taken away. I refused to cry while looking back. While all my hopes for this to stop sinks.

After the wedding, I didnt think more maltreatment would happen. How can a person be so cruel, but at the same time good? Is that even possible? I wonder sometimes if my husband has the bipolar syndrome. The things he would do to me were new and yet as time goes on my heart started changing.

Vikrant slowly started to leave my heart. I dont remember when it all started, maybe when I saw him crying in his private study. He didnt thinks I would find it. He looked so broken. His eyes were different from the other times I stared at it.

Maybe it was when he apologize to me in the dressing room and gave me a gentle kiss. It was different from his usual forced kiss. I couldn't help but wonder, how a person can have two different eyes. He must be a mastermind.

There were more moments like the time he would have sex with me while angry. His gaze gave me goosebumps. I had only heard about this in college. My friends told me about the best sex which was rough sex. I  didnt think it was true until now. I  couldn't deny it anymore that I love him.

But at the same time, he scares me. Sometimes his gaze was too possessive, but I chose to ignore it. I even tried to ask him one time if he knew anyone name pearl, but I chose not too.

Even though he doesn't say it, I knew he loves me. He confirmed it when he saved me from the car. Now holding him in my arm. I screamed for help. Why is it, when I finally got the answer your taking him away, I cried. When he told me not to cry for him, I told him to shut up.

I told him not to leave me because I love him. He smiles so gently before he told me something in a whisper " F..find Pearl"  my eyes widen

Pearl Again, is he the one who did this. First my sister and now my husband. I told him I won't, but he pleaded to find him. I didnt want him to use what left of his energy, so I lied.

He thank me and said he was sorry over and over and even mentioned pearl. That name again,  what is going on. Who is pearl? I thought before crying again. I'm such a bad person.

Unbeknown to me, a woman was watching this. She was crying in the background. " my sweet son, they did this to you" she says