The Sadist Has Feelings Too (ManXman) {BDSM}

Chapter 2 - I Want Him

Damon's pov
Sunday 4th July 2021
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I don't enjoy going to see Orion but it's a necessary evil. If I stop going Marcus will kick me out of the club and then I'll have nothing that I enjoy.

I enjoy hurting people. That's really the only thing that makes me happy. I'm diagnosed with a severe form of Antisocial Personality Disorder. Which means I'm a psychopath. I lack empathy and remorse which means I have no issue in manipulating people for my own gain. All Orion's words of course, I don't see how that's a bad thing, I think more people in the world should be selfish to get on top.

I used to also be very angry and could never control my anger but Orion gave me antidepressants that can apparently control it, although the lack of empathy can't be fixed.

A few years ago I wouldn't have cared about my impulsive anger but when I found Orion I quickly realised the path I was on would just lead me to prison for the rest of my life. I'd already been behind bars for petty assaults but if I did something worse I'd be gone for a long time. He showed me that I enjoy my freedom, so if I follow societies rules I'll keep it.

The way I found Orion isn't great, although he's forgiven me. I met him at a gay bar and tried to flirt but I don't know how to do that so he rejected me. That's when I dropped a drug in his drink and waited until he was out of it before I took him outside. My plan was to take him to my car and have my way but I stopped because I remembered how close I got to prison when I got caught trying this last time. So I waited until the drugs wore off Orion and apologised as he sat in the back of my car. Instead of leaving as fast as he could he started talking to me. He asked why I stopped and why I did it then gave me advice and asked if I wanted to talk to him again as he's a therapist. I took his number and tried to ignore it for a few weeks until I gave in and went to see him.

So now every week I go to see this man who digs into my thoughts and usually insults me but I keep going because he introduced me to bdsm.

I did two months of training with the man who owns the club, Marcus Carlisle. He wasn't very easy on me, he made me try all sorts of things that I want to do to submissives. I let him deepthroat me, I let him whip me, I even let him put a sound into my dick. I drew the line at fucking me, I used a safeword when he tried to do that. He gave me a lot of rules and a lot of warnings and if I don't follow those I get kicked out. Which seems fair enough for me.

Last night was my first night after training. Marcus found me a submissive that I could play with but said I'm not allowed to take a sub under contract because I'm supposed to make a sub thrive but I can't do that, I'd only make them worse apparently. I don't care though, I just want the rough sex not a relationship.

The boy I had sex with last night was good, he could take a lot of pain and let me fuck him as rough as I want. Although, the aftercare was boring and I was scared I'd do it wrong so I didn't enjoy that. He told me liked the night and wanted me again so I can go to him again if I want more rough sex.

He was also transgender, which I didn't know existed until then. Marcus tried to explain it to me but I didn't get it so Orion is going to talk to me about it. I understand so far he's a man with a vagina and had surgery to get his body but I don't know anything else.

"Hello Damon," Orion says as I walk into his office.

"Goodmorning," I answer as I sit down on the couch.