euphoria. [ rini au ]

chapter four.

Nini didn't have a fully cohesive memory of Friday afternoon or evening. Lying on her bed that night, she tried to piece it together, telling herself that if she could remember every moment from that day, it would be real. There had been sprints and hurdles in PE class where E.J. had asked question after question after question until someone had told him to shut up. Then there had been physics for final period where she had taken notes that later made no sense. There had been a drive home that she couldn't remember either. Sighing, she rolled over, needing to get rid of the weird girly feeling that made her want to giggle non-stop.

Dinner had been awkward from what she remembered. E.J. had been obnoxious the whole time and Nini had fled the table the moment Lynne Bowen had taken the last bite of her ice cream, signalling the end of dinner. Nini had been in a daze in the backseat of E.J.'s car with her head on Ricky's shoulder as they drove to school to watch the football game with the rest of their friends. The only tangible moment she could grasp with all its detail was when Ricky dropped her off at home later and kissed her on the doorstep.

That had been real. That had been authentic and natural and exactly what she had been craving since she woke up that morning. Rolling onto her back, Nini shut her eyes and smiled at the memory, her toes curling in complete contentment that for the first time since camp, she and Ricky were in the perfect place for each other. The noise of her phone ringing brought her back to her consciousness and she answered when Ricky's face popped up on the screen for a Facetime call.

"E.J. said your bedroom light was still on, you were awake right?" Ricky asked when she answered.

"Yeah, I'm awake," she replied softly.

"You're still meeting me to run tomorrow morning?" he asked. They had been running every morning since Tuesday and it was Nini's idea to continue on the weekends since the city finals for track were coming up next week.

"Of course, I'll wait outside so I don't wake your parents," she told him.

"Don't be ridiculous. I'll leave the kitchen door unlocked if I'm not down there already."

"Alright, I'll see you then."

Hanging up, she switched off her light and clutched her pillow close. The day had been a blur but she knew some things. She knew Ricky had been right to say no one else mattered. It was just them. They were taking a jump, a leap and whatever-you-wanted-to-call-it into something new and undiscovered. She was ready though. All the fears and uncertainties she held earlier had vanished when Ricky grabbed her hand that evening at the football game. He was there and that was all she wanted.

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The pavement blurred under Ricky's feet as he tried to keep pace with Nini. Increasing his speed in sync with her, Ricky caught her grin as she slowed slightly.

"From the next driveway to Gina's is 400 meters," she told him, as he pulled out his phone to time her.

"Give me a head start," he joked, speeding up to Gina's driveway. Jogging on the spot, he held a hand over his head to signal for Nini to start.

Gripping the watch, he kept his glance between Nini and the running numbers on his phone as she pushed herself. Her time during the week of trials was between 61 and 65 seconds and Ricky knew she was determined to get it under 60 seconds. Ricky clenched his jaw when he saw the numbers pass the 60 second mark. She recognized the look on his face when she reached the driveway and her mouth frowned.

"62.4, Neens," he told her.

"Dammit," she cursed quietly. "Fine, let's do it again."

"Neens, that won't help," he told her.

"Ricky, set the watch."

"Look, we'll go home, get something to eat and when you've rested, I'll drive to the school and we can do it on the track."

"One more time."

"You're going to hurt yourself," he argued. "You've been doing this everyday for the last week, maybe you need a break for a day. Relax and take the pressure off."

"Last winter, when East was set to play West for basketball championships, how many times a day did you run practice?" she asked. "At least twice, Ricky. Free period, after school and every morning if you could haul enough people out of bed. What makes you think this is any different?"

"Neens, basketball practice can be regulated to avoid burnout. Track, especially what you're running, it's physically exhausting every time you do it. You won't be able to move by the meet and you've barely touched the hurdles since Wednesday," Ricky told her.

"I don't care about hurdles. The 400m is what I've been working for since last year. This is my race and I'm going to win the damn thing. Julia Samuels is not going to knock me out this year," Nini spit out, taking a seat on the curb.

"Seriously, is that what this is about?" Ricky asked, frustrated. "Neens, she cut into your lane on purpose, there was nothing you could have done, it was all her."

"You don't understand," she said quietly.

"Then explain it to me please. Explain why you are driving yourself into the ground to prove something to that cheat. The judges stripped her of going to state finals and you got to re-run your time so you could at least place. Everyone knows you got screwed out of finishing," Ricky said, almost yelling.

"I'm never first," she screamed at him. "Never! I'm never the lead in the musical or the captain of the scholastic decathlon. I'm not student council president or the fucking track state finalist. Gina takes the lead and makes me the understudy, Kourtney runs for president and makes me her campaign manager but not her vice president because then she would have no one to do the crappy jobs no one wants. Hell, even your GPA is a point higher than mine so I don't even win that area."

"Neens, I-"

"It's not about competing, it's not," she insisted. "But track is the one place where none of my friends are competing against me. It's the one thing I don't feel guilty about taking from them and last year was supposed to be my moment to shine and that witch took it from me. I need to do this, I need to win on Friday."

Ricky saw the tears shed and the white bloodless fingertips digging into the road. He didn't know what to say. How had he not seen what people's expectations of her and her expectations for herself were doing to her? He watched as her friends and classmates and teachers took and took from her without giving back, but he had been blind just like them. The signature smile of hers had hidden everything. Collapsing in front of her, he pulled her to his chest and held her there.

"It's stopping now," he told her. "No more holding yourself back. It's time you came first in your own life. I promise I'll give you every minute I have between now and then, but not right now. You need a decent rest so you can train properly. None of this running while half-dead crap."

Seeing her nod, he gave her a smile that she returned as he gripped her wrist and pulled her up to her feet. He stopped at the first wince and returned her to the ground. She looked away as he let trained hands slide up her legs over stiffened calf muscles and onto the tight joints of her knees. Drained, she shut her eyes as she focused on Ricky's even heartbeat instead of her erratic one as he used his free hand to pull out his phone. He pressed a kiss to her temple before calling E.J. to come get them.