euphoria. [ rini au ]

chapter thirteen.

Ricky sat hunched in his desk, furiously sketching away in his notebook as the final minutes of Friday's last class dwindled away on the clock behind the teacher's desk. He ignored the curious glances that his classmates sent him, whispering behind their hands if he didn't know they were discussing him and Nini. Practically the whole school was discussing him and Nini. Their friends. Their parents. Their teachers. He would almost be giddy with the attention if it wasn't so painful to hear her name.

He had lied to her at camp and when they got home. He had told her that he needed her, even if it meant they were fighting. He had assured her that no matter how they acted, he would be happy as long as she was around. It was a lie. She was around and they were fighting but he was so far from being happy, it felt like someone had ripped out his heart and replaced it with a block of ice that trickled into his bloodstream and made him cold. Everything was different this time. They had fought before. Constantly. It was a history they would probably never get rid of, but this time it wasn't a game he was determined to win. It was murderous and dangerous and every word that left his mouth, every phrase uttered in her direction, felt like his soul was shredding. It hurt.

She had been his, he had known that, yet he needed confirmation. He needed to know that no one would take her away. He needed to protect her and she wanted nothing of it. She wanted to stand on her own feet, he realized. She wanted to let people know that she could handle the flirtatious looks and quests for a date. She could handle the football players or soccer players. She had no problem telling them she was unavailable and Ricky had realized it too late. She wanted to proudly profess her feelings without him forcing her hand. She wanted him to claim her while she stood beside him and his stupid masculine pride had gotten in the way. He had forgotten her temper. He had forgotten her recent lack of tolerance for being taken granted and he of all people should have known that.

He was avoiding her, he knew, and no matter how many time E.J. urged him to talk to her, Ricky couldn't bring himself to face her. Pride, yes, stood in the way, but also guilt. She deserved more from him. He was supposed to know her like no other and he had made the biggest mistake of all. More than that, he was afraid. He could live with the fire in her eyes or the sadness in her face as he explained himself, if only he knew the outcome would spin them back to last week. But it wasn't that simple, and Ricky was terrified that she would look him in the eye and tell him to screw off and never come back.

Someone shook his shoulders and he looked up from his paper, seeing E.J. giving him an exasperated look while students filed past him. Glancing towards the front of the room. Ricky realized the bell must have rung and he got to his feet. Shoving his things into his backpack, he stood and followed E.J. to their lockers. A flash of brown hair caught his eye and he tried to keep his eyes from following Nini as she disappeared down the hallway.

"Dude, you need to pull yourself together. You look like she's the one ignoring you and not the other way around," E.J. told him. "I told you, just go to her and tell her you want it to end."

"You don't get it," Ricky insisted. "I don't know how."

"Well it happened once, it can happen again."

The answer seemed simple but Ricky knew the difference. This was not going to be solved by standing in the rain and screaming at each other. There was no one threatening to fire them or other counsellors glaring at them. At East High, it was so expected that no one thought to demand it to end. Even the principal gave them weary sighs and a hand flick to send them to detention.

"It's not the same. Colorado was different. What happened was different. I promised her things would be different here. I promised that she deserved to make her own decisions and stop following what everyone expected. I promised her I wouldn't ever let her go. I broke them all. They were all lies that if I were to repeat now, would taste like ashes in my mouth," Ricky said, lifted his head from the cool steel of the locker door and slamming it closed. "Even if I want this to end, I've ruined everything. At least this way, she stays angry instead of heartbroken ."

"Ricky, if you weren't avoiding eye contact with her so much, you would see that she's not angry. She misses you," E.J. told him as they headed to the parking lot. "What you need is a night away from all this. Toldi's throwing a party tonight for no particular reason. Come with me and have fun. Try to spend one night not obsessing over what could happen with Nini."

"I don't want to run into her drunk," Ricky insisted. "Or at all. I don't want to fight with her, that's why I've been avoiding her all day."

"She won't be there. Why would she? She has no connection to Jacob and it's not for basketball or anything. She'll probably just be curled up at home or at Ashlyn's with Kourtney. So just us guys, some drinks and we will make sure you don't do anything stupid." E.J. said, shooting his friend a pleading look. "You know you want to."

"Fine," Ricky sighed. "But someone else is driving."

"We're crashing at Carlos's house across the street. His parents are away visiting family or something."

"Alright. I'll meet you there."

---------

Nini eyed the outfit on her bed that Gina laid out with distaste before looking at the doorway to where she stood, holding a pair of white sandals in her hands. Her hair was up in a simple bun and she was decked out in some black jeans and a red long sleeved crop top, along with some white Air Force One's. Not what Nini expected when she called her over for a movie night.

"When you asked to come over and do something," Nini reminded Gina, "I thought you meant watch a couple sad movies and cry over them."

"This is something," Gina told her, leaving the doorpost and putting the shoes on the bed. "It's a party. You deserve a party."

"I'm not really in the mood," Nini insisted. "Can't we just make popcorn or something?"

"No, you need to get your mind off of this week. I know it sucks and I may not know how you feel, but I know you're upset about it. This time it's different and you're not enjoying it like before. You look lost and sad and ready to burst into tears. And enough is enough, Nini. He will come around and you will get to tell him whatever it is that needs to be told between you two, but you need to take a step back and just relax for the night. Come with me to the party." Gina said with a pout. "Please?"

"Gi, I don't want to fight with him but I can't stand to see him stare at the wall over my head anymore," Nini tried bargaining.

"Maybe he won't be there?" Gina replied.

"Gina, E.J. is the one who invited you. Of course Ricky will be there."

"Fine, I'll make a deal with you. We show up and mingle for half an hour. If something happens or you want to leave, we will leave to come back here and watch any movie you want. Pinkie swear," Gina promised.

"Ice cream," Nini added. "I want ice cream with the movie."

"Sure. With cherries and sprinkles and whipped cream. Anything else?"

Sighing, Nini stood up and grabbed the jeans and white tank top before heading to the bathroom to get changed. Shoving her feet into the sandals and buckling the straps with anxious fingers, she prayed she wasn't making a mistake.