Living in the Dark

Chapter Three

People never knew, that I once did drugs. Someone I met in the bar approached me and I was a bit drunk that time.

"Hey." Hindi ko siya pinansin. Sobrang sakit ng ulo ko 'nun at pakiramdam ko, umiikot 'yung mundo.

"Want some drink? Hey bro, a shot of tonic here." I did not notice what he was doing. Minutes later, when I aggressively grabbed the drink. Then few seconds, everything became twice blurry 'till I passed out.

Nagising na lang ako sa isang madilim na lugar, a spacious room to be exact. I found out that they put ecstacy in the drink. That is why I became high. They offered me another, and I tried it absentmindedly. I got addicted to drugs, cocainne, weeds, ecstacy, marijuana and other types.

It happened for a month or more. Tuloy-tuloy 'yung pag absent ko sa school 'nun, then they got me suspended. Siguro, dahil sa sobrang gulo ng buhay ko. I took the risk of using drugs to forget the world for a while. 

Pero natawa na lang ako sa sarili ko. For a while, short period of time only. I realized na walang patutunguhan ang pagte-take ko ng drugs. So I stopped. I really got myself wasted.

Naalala ko nanaman 'yun. Unti-unting lumalabas ang mga maiinit na tubig mula sa aking mga mata. Heto nanaman ako. Napabuntong hininga na lamang ako. Why do I need to have this kind of life? It sucks, big time.

"Hey." Kinabahan ako, mauulit nanaman ba yung nangyari? But this random guy was different. Instead of offering me a drink, what he did was he gave me a white handkerchief. Kinuha ko 'yun at pinunasan ang mga traydor ko luha. 

"Who are you?" I asked without looking. My tears won't stop flowing. 

"Drei, Andrei Hernandez." I looked at him using my blank expression. He, well, looks good. Then he offered me his hand. I gave him mine.

Minutes later, tumatawa na kaming parehas. Drei has a good sense of humor. At isa pa, lahat ng sinasabi niya, may laman at sense. And, I actually like him. Tiningnan ko 'yung wrist watch ko, 11:53 p.m. Ang tagal rin pala namin nag-usap.

"S-so, can I h-have your n-number?" He asked, out of the blue. Ngumiti ako at ibinigay ang hinihiling niya. 

After exchanging numbers, I went back to my motorcycle. I went to the nearest convenient store to buy some beers. Umuwi ako at nilunod muli ang sarili sa alak.

Nagkaroon ako ng first love noong sophomore ako. I loved him secretly. We're so close, yet he never knew. I never confessed because of the fear of being rejected.

Until one day, I found out that he's courting someone. Which turned out to be my, bestfriend. Yep, I had a bestfriend, my first and last, maybe? Nalaman ko kasi na, pera at fame lang pala ang habol niya sa akin.

She envies me a lot. Pero ito ako, sobrang mamon ng puso, never nagtanim ng galit sa kanya. Saklap 'no? That was my first heartbreak, ever.

Sabi ko naman sa inyo, my life's all messed up.

Ilang months rin ng ligawan stage, naging sila. I found out na sinadya ng kaibigan ko yun, para saktan ako. Siya lang naman ang nakakaalam ng pinakatatago ko. Sila pa rin hanggang graduation, but I don't have any news about them today. 

Siguro, I got traumatized, that's why I don't have any friends neither serious relationships. Sino nga ba naman ang lalapit sa akin? I'm a bitch, remember?

I threw an empty can of beer. Lecheng mga luha 'to, nag-uunahan.