A little update on my life:
I have been accepted into three schools; Kutztown Honors, Rutgers, and University of Delaware. I am waiting to hear back from TCNJ's English Education program, which is one of the most notorized and rigorous education programs in the nation.
I am planning on being an english professor, which means getting my doctorine, which means a lot more schooling. But don't think for one second I would give up on writing, I plan on being an author as well, following in a path that you guys have made obvious for me.
Candace is still my best friend, practically my other half. I always have to remind myself of how damn lucky I am to have that girl in my life, and how blessed I am to know her.
I am in the midst of my senior year and moving on to a new chapter of my life, but not without you guys. I plan to write in college and beyond, but I have decided that after I finish these books I will begin putting my original stories on here, stories that I have been writing and perfecting for you guys.
This is bittersweet. Bitter because it's the end of an era, sweet because it is just the beginning of a better one.
Love,
Katie
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I opened my eyes and was blinded by the natural light coming into my room. I sat up and instantly had a pounding headache, wondering how the hell I got home and had no pants on when the last thing I remembered was kissing Nick at some frat last night.
I heard someone groan next to me and I turned slowly, afraid of who was there. My biggest fear became reality when I saw Nick, lying asleep and gorgeous next to me.
I smacked him, waking him up. "Ow, what the hell Kier?"
"Did you take advantage of me last night? I was drunk Nick! I could call the cops, this is rape buddy and I'm not gonna just lie down and take it!" I realized it was a bad choice of words, but I was riled up and wanted to kill the idiot.
"No, God no Kiera! How could you even think that of me? You got really drunk so I took you home because Justin was too busy hooking up with another girl to help. I stayed in the bed with you because you begged me to, said you couldn't go to sleep without me by your side" he said while rubbing his cheek.
"That still doesn't explain why I don't have pants on Mara" I said, still quite angry.
"You puked on them, and I didn't want you to sleep like that so I looked away and took them off" he said, a blush appearing on his cheeks.
"Wow, sorry for slapping you, that was uncharacteristically nice for someone who thinks I'm a hipocritical slut" I wasn't willing to let that go just because he helped me out one night.
"About that" he sat up and rubbed the back of his neck, "I was really drunk and upset and I missed you more than words could describe. I wanted to be that guy you were grinding on, the guy you kiss, the guy you date, and I couldn't handle that person being someone else"
"Shit, alright, way to drop the truth on me like a bomb when I am so hungover the pounding of my head sounds like the tune to Bang Bang" I said and we both laughed, only making my head hurt more, "but if we have both decided to speak up, I should say that I never actually 'dated' Justin to the full extent of the word. It was all a ruse in order to get you, in order to make you feel the same way I did every day for the past three years when you walked in with another pretty girl on your arm. I wanted to flip the tables because I am still mad as well as madly in love with you" I took a deep breath after pouring my heart out to him faster than you could pour a glass of water. I kept my eyes down, afraid to look his way, afraid, yet again, of heart break.
"I knew you still loved me! From that night I knew that what we had was too strong to give up, our relationship meant to much to you"
"Yeah, but Nick, you need to understand that I refuse to be treated like those other girls, the ones you dispose of faster than trash, which makes sense because they are. I won't bounce back like them you know, I won't be able to move onto the next guy like them because I have real feelings for you. I don't want to lose my virginity to someone who doesn't care and will show up with another pretty girl on his arms before the day is even through. I want a real relationship, I deserve a real relationship after all you have put me through and if you don't, well I will have to swallow my feelings for you because I refuse to be ripped apart by you Nick, even if I have been madly in love with you since the day we met" I took a deep breath, and thought about how we met 10 years ago and how there wasn't a shot he remembered.
"You know, I remember the day we met," I was waiting for him to tell me the story about how he accidentally knocked me over in the 8th grade and helped me to pick up all my books, the first time we talked in 7 years, "I was 7, you were 6. I had just moved in next door and you were playing outside on the first day of summer. I was so scared to talk to you, did you know that? I didn't know what beauty was, I mean I was only 7, but I knew that you were beautiful and that terrified me because I had never felt that way. But you came skipping over to me, with a small yellow bow in your long brown hair and your beautiful yellow church dress covered in dirt because you refused to change before you went out to play" he paused to laugh for a moment, and all I could do was stare, "You grabbed my hair and dragged me over to your front yard and we built a house out of sticks for your dolls. It was quite girly, but I didn't care. I was entranced by you, I would've done anything for you. The days of summer came and went, every morning you would wait for me in your front yard and we would do some other great adventure, whether it be riding bikes to the hidden river you and your older brother found on the opposite side of the block or sword fighting with sticks and drinking lemonade. You were always up for an adventure, always care free. As the last days of summer dwindled to a close our friendship only got stronger, and I knew that you were that one person some people spent their whole lives looking for, so I kissed you as the final summer sun set. I promised we would spend everyday after school playing and laughing together like usual, but soon I got all these friends that told me you were weird, told me to stay away. So I did. I watched through the window every damn day as you waited for me until the sun set and your mother called you in, I watched the fragile heart I loved so much break everyday. Soon enough you stopped waiting, soon enough I stopped looking, but in my heart I knew that you were the one and I lost you because of petty words from fake friends. A day doesn't go by when I don't miss you, and that's why I hook up with all these popular, idiotic girls, to fill the hole I made when I lost you. I didn't want to date you because I didn't want to lose my social rank, stupid I know"
"And now?" I said, praying and hoping for an answer I have been craving to hear all these years. My headache was gone, now my heart was the thing pounding and it felt as if it would burst out of my chest if he didn't give me an answer soon.
"Now I don't give a flying fuck, I want you. I want to date you, to hold you, to kiss you, to call you mine and to finally make up for all the shit I put you through. I want to call you mine and I don't give a damn who knows it anymore."
And finally, for the first time without adrenaline from the new year or intoxication, we kissed.
I kissed my boyfriend Nick Mara, truly for the first time.
