{18+ COMPLETED}
A war that destroyed the world. It came and it went, leaving death and chaos in its wake.
In the resulting turmoil England has split into four regions, a safety measure that was 'essential' to ensure that violence would not reign ov...
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My mind is absolutely gone, any thoughts thrown straight back out as soon as they dare enter my head. Instead, I focus all my energy on kissing Rayden, grateful for the distraction, the reminiscent behaviour taking me back to my fifteen year old self, before any of these complications came into my life.
"Mils..." Ray breathes out, attempting to pull away. I shake my head desperately, dizziness consuming me as the alcohol seeps into my bloodstream. I know that he's wavering in his decision to kiss me, the thought almost causing drunk me to laugh. Rayden should be fucking enjoying it, for I never used let his lips touch mine.
The alcohol doesn't work, sleep doesn't come easily, food barely ever stays down. This is my last fucking attempt to feel something else, anything would be better than the constant ache in my chest that yearns for me to protect someone that I can do absolutely nothing for.
"Emilia?" The sudden exclamation has Rayden quickly pulling away as I shut my eyes and curse under my breath. Just great.
"Claudia!" Rayden replies, his voice shaky as he tries to jostle away from me. I fall slightly as his body leaves mine, finally opening my eyes and looking down at the dull grass. "Emilia, I'm sorry," he tells me hurriedly and I look up at him, my eyebrows furrowed. What does he have to be sorry for? "I never should have let..." He trails off and I scoff.
"I threw myself at you," I mutter. "You have nothing to be sorry for."
Suddenly he's right beside me, angling my chin up so that I look into his blue eyes. How much do I long for the brown ones that I miss so dearly instead? "I do," he replies. "You're drunk and hurting."
"Ray?" Claudia's voice comes out softly, Rayden finally looking away from me and up towards her. I keep my eyes on his face, scanning over his nose which is slightly bigger than Zac's, his lower cheekbones, his paler skin. What the hell am I doing?
"I'll leave you two to talk," Rayden replies, shooting me a quick smile before letting go of my arm and disappearing from sight. I gulp down the harsh lump that's formed in my throat, before Claudia kneels down beside me, her blonde hair dipping into my frame of vision.
"Emilia?" she says softly, the calm tone of her voice causing the tears to finally spill down my cheeks. How is she not mad at me?
"What am I doing?" I cry out, finally looking up at her worried expression.
Quickly grabbing onto my shoulders she pulls me into her arms. "You're lost," she answers. "It's going to be okay."
"You don't know that!"
"I do," Claudia replies quietly. "Zac is strong, Em. He's going to make it through this."
I don't even know why I feel this way, I don't understand how my arrogant, conceited, selfish husband has worked his way into my mind so damn permanently, how he's impacted my life to this extent, affecting the way I feel. I'm lost, I'm confused, and I have no idea what to do.
