- Requested by @NaomiTheDark -
TRIGGER WARNING:
S//ICIDE
D//UG USE
(Y/N) POV
I gasped, my eyes flickering open and closed. I reached my hands to my chest and looked down, seeing the red-stained water in the hotel bathtub. "No, no, no, no, no," I mumbled, pulling my hands up and down my arms. I put my hand to my mouth and felt the dried blood under my lips.
Flashback
I grabbed the pills from my bag and turned the bathtub water on, hoping that if these pills don't kill me, I'll be able to drown in my sleep. I tossed my phone to the corner of the bathroom and grabbed the bottle, pouring however many into my mouth and using the gross bathwater to swallow them. I shut my eyes. "Why am I doing this?" I laughed at myself.
A few minutes later, I was coughing. Blood shot out of my mouth, making me open my eyes for a second before shutting them again. I groaned, leaning back and pushing my head against the wall. I felt tears slide down my face as I started to hum (F/S). Popee would sing it to me when I was upset. My humming was shaky as I felt myself get tired. I passed out.
End
I heard my phone ring, making me jump, splashing the water. I stood up, my legs feeling weak. I glanced in the mirror, quickly dragging my attention elsewhere 'cuz of how terrible I looked. I picked up the phone. It was Popee, of course. It looked like he had called every thirty minutes for the past nine hours. I felt terrible for making him stay up. I answered.
"Hello?" I said, my voice sounding scratchy and tired.
"Oh thank- (Y/N), oh my- where are- how are- are you okay?" He kept cutting himself off, sounding like he was about to explode with emotions. "(Y/N), please come home. You don't have to tell me what happened or clean yourself or apologize, please just come here, okay?".
"Okay," I said weakly. I wanted to say more but really didn't have the energy to do so.
"Keep me on the phone. You don't have to talk, just stay on.". I nodded, even though he couldn't see me and made my way out of the hotel after cleaning evidence of an attempt and checking out. I made my way back to the circus with a straight face. It's been the only home I had since I was kicked out, not complaining of course. It's a place to stay with food, water, shelter, and someone who cares about me. I sighed. I care about him too, I just get urges, I guess. I don't know.
I got close to the entrance and Popee came running for me, picked me up and giving me water, I drunk it slowly, not making eye contact. We got inside Popee's tent and he laid me down on his mattress. He was very tired. He was slouching, bags under his eyes, and his hair a mess, wearing just a pair of boxers and a white tank top. He dropped down beside me and grabbed me, hugging me tightly and pushing his face on top of my head. I clutched onto his tank top and started crying. "Cry as much as you need to, please," he whispered, pulling me as close as he could and sliding one of his legs between mine.
I took deep breaths over and over. Popee was breathing in rhythm with me. He loosed his arms around me and pushed my head up. "This is gross, I know, but," he licked his thumb and wiped the blood from under my mouth. He smiled at took a deep breath. "You're staying in my tent from now on. No more escaping," he gave me a fake laugh and ran his hand through my hair. He started to hum (F/S), pulling me up from the mattress and starting to dance with me. I gave a real smile, and I could tell it made him happy. I laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes as he hugged me, swaying me back and forth.
"I'm so-" he cut me off. "Don't say sorry. You felt bad and didn't have anywhere to go. Now you do, and that's to me.". I nodded slowly. He put a hand on the back of my head. He picked me up again and walked out of the tent with me. "We both look like a mess," he laughed, carrying me to the cheap shower they had. I laughed quietly back. "I guess we do.".
He set me down on my feet and we both undressed. He turned the water on. We turned to each other and awkwardly smiled. We passed shampoo and body wash, taking turns under the water. He'd blow soap at me, stick his hair up, anything to make me smile or laugh. The water turned off and he grabbed a towel for the two of us. He took his fingers and brushed my hair back. We walked to his tent, him grabbing practically the same outfit from his drawers and handing me the same outfit as well to slip on. It was loose on me, but comfortable. I smiled. I was calm.
It's like the beginning of my day couldn't possibly be connected to now. Popee grabbed a hair-tie and pulled his hair into a short ponytail. He noticed me watching him and smiled. "You look cute in my clothes," he said, smirking at me. "Oh no, here we go," I mumbled, covering my face with my hands. "You look cute in everything though. You look cute in nothing. Hell, scratch cute, beautiful. You are beautiful," he hugged me, closing his eyes and resting his head on top of mine. "Popee, quit," I laughed, not being able to hold back the smile on my face. "So pretty, so smart," he dragged me down on the mattress and yawned. "So sweet, so perfect," he grabbed one of my hands and smiled, kissing my forehead.
"I'm gonna protect you from yourself. I love you.".
A/N
Was this to short ahhhhhh
I thought it was cute and I hoped it made some people happy :)
Feel free to vent in the comments if needed! No judgment babies!! Love you guys
