mariano castaño and valentina reyes have been best friends since forever and together they join the new tiktok house, "the vault." perhaps some feelings begin to show themselves between the pair.
i lay in bed, listening to music. the boys had gone to ontario. i couldn't bring myself to go. he was going there to see alessya, again. it hurt me so badly to see her wrapped around his arms.
"If you're looking for the word that means caring about someone Beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want No matter how much it destroys you, it's love! And when you love someone, you just, you don't stop, ever Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy Even then, especially then! You just, you don't give up because If I could give up, if I could just, you know Take the whole worlds advice and And move on and find someone else that wouldn't be love! That would be, that would be some other disposable thing That is not worth fighting for!"
the lyrics played inside my head like a broken record. "im so pathetic!" i screamed into my pillow. tears suddenly began to pour out my eyes like a waterfall, uncontrollable and heavy. i couldn't seem to get myself to stop. i love him so much. ive known him since we were in diapers! i was born 4 days after him. our moms are best friends! they moved from mexico to canada together, for god sake! we had the same friend group! why weren't we together! i know him better than anyone in this fucking world but im still not good enough for him. i hiccuped repeatedly. i hated feeling this way. so weak. suddenly my phone started to ring and i considered letting it ring out but instead i reached out for it. my heart clenching at the called ID, it read
Mar ❤️🧸 he was face timing me. fuck. i always, always answered his calls, if i didn't answer he would know immediately something was wrong. i cleared my throat and quickly wiped my eyes and without hesitating again, i clicked the button.
"helloooo!" i answered with fake cheerfulness. placing my phone on my bed so that it faced toward the ceiling. a deep chuckle came through the phone. i felt the butterflies erupt in my stomach as i watched his hazel eyes come up on the screen. "hey val." "hey mar." i mocked his usually stoic voice. i watched him roll his eyes. "how you holding up?" for some reason whenever someone asked me how i was or anything relating to my feelings, i would break down. "good." i answered softly. i clenched my eyes shut in a feeble attempt to somehow go back in time and answer in a cheerful manner. it was too late now. he was my best friend and he would know. "whats wrong?" he immediately asked. i couldn't possibly tell him i was crying over him. "nothing!" i answered my tone raised and filled with exasperation. "nena. ¿qué pasó? show me your face." (baby. what happened?) please don't call me that, i thought. i opened my mouth but nothing came out. what was i supposed to say? i sniffled as my eyes began to water. and i hesitantly grabbed my phone to lift it up but before i could a voice rang out. "mariano? baby?" my heart practically stopped. alessya. i recognized her voice. i couldn't see her. "hey baby. give me a second. im talking to valentina." he had moved the phone away and then paused it but unfortunately didn't mute himself, my stomach hurt hearing them. "okay give me a kiss." i never wanted to throw my phone out the window more than the moment i heard the smack of lips. tears pooled at my eyes and i reached out for my pillow, holding onto it tightly against my chest. a few seconds passed before mariano spoke again. "nena?" "i was crying because of mattia." i said without thinking. i mentally kicked myself. mattia and i had a thing going on a few weeks ago but mattia has broken it off. i really liked him. he kept my mind off mariano...kind of. "let me see your face." i grabbed my phone, letting him see me. his eyes softened. "nena. he's not worth it. no guy is worth your tears." i want you to be, i mentally thought. i sighed deeply and spoke in a soft tone. "i know. its just because im by myself right now. i start overthinking and everything." the lies sprang out me so easily. "you should've came." he sighed heavily. "yeah yeah i know." i looked away from him. i hated lying to him. "i love you...alright? ill call you tomorrow morning. it's getting late and you should sleep." "i love you more" i spoke softly before hanging up.
i sighed heavily. dragging myself off my bed, i walked to my body mirror. i starred at myself and visibly flinched at my appearance. my curls were wild and frizzy. my eyes were puffy and red. my nose was also red. my face decorated with tear filled mascara. i picked off a random hoodie off the ground but froze as it was mar's favorite hoodie. i starred at it before dropping it to the ground and grabbing another. i pulled it on and pulled up the hood over my head to hid my lions mane. i glanced at the one picture that decorated the mirror.
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(pretend it's mar and val)
and right there and then vowed to stop loving mariano castaño.
authors note: my first book! ahhhh can't wait to keep writing. thank you for reading my book! please let me know if you have any ideas or suggestions! k <3
