Down by the water the riverbed
Somebody calls you somebody says
Swim with the current and float away
Down by the river everyday
-
The next night when i walk to the cliff, I don't find Ocean sitting there blowing smoke from her pale lips and my heart sinks a little.
I walk over to the edge and sit with my legs hanging down and i see the river down below and the words that drove me insane enough to come here flash in my mind.
I had never been good at coping with insecurity and hatred from other people and the red bumps that embed my body confirm it.
Hearing people call you from behind and come up to you and say,
"Hey just jump into that river. You know, you'll do us and yourself a favour."
wasn't the best thing to hear upon entering school at the age of 11.
As their words and laughs echoed in my mind, i felt warm tears staining my cheeks and my throat closed up and my lungs choked on tar and nicotine and every inch of my body hurt in every way.
Somewhere between self-pity and choked sobs, Ocean finally came and sat down beside me and as she looked at me, worry became prominent on her features and she asked what was wrong to which i said,
"I'm going to flow away one day, with the river and nobody will stop me from doing so."
And as she finally processed my words, her blue eyes went wide and glistened and she put her arms around me and swore that she would hug all of my sadness away and i looked at her and the moonlight adorned her skin like sunshine striking on marble and i believed her.
We sat on the damp grass cross-legged and her head rested on my shoulder,
We kept stealing glances of each other every once in a while. It was getting colder than usual and nothing could be seen due to the fog and her frail voice asked if we should go back.
"I can walk you back if you want, i'm just not going back to that house only to hear my parents fighting and screaming at each other," I said.
And that was the first time she kissed my cheek and invited me to her house.
And i swear to god, for the first time in years, i was able to sleep without waking up in the middle of the night, screaming my lungs dry.
That was also the first time she kissed me in her kitchen and caressed the bruises and cuts on my arms and knees.
She left prints of her lips all over my neck and jaw and it was better than every sip of alcohol and every inhale of nicotine.
