Stay With Me

Chapter 4

Hey guys! I’m so sorry I took forever to update. My bad. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

Harry's POV

THREE WEEKS LATER

*RECAP*

Let me tell you whats been going on lately. Luke ended up dating this one kid named Ashton. Hes pretty cool, and he hangs out with us a lot. I totally thought that Luke was going to ask me out, but I guess not. It’s better this way. You’ll understand why eventually. 

Niall was talking to this one girl named Hailee but, I don’t think its going to work out. Don’t tell him I said that though. 

Liam met this cool dude named Zayn. He’s pretty scary if you ask me but, Liam likes him so theres nothing I can do about it. 

If you’re wondering, yes, I do spend most of my time alone now. With everyone being preoccupied, I really have nobody to talk to. It’s fine though, I enjoy being alone. Plus, the less people in my life, less people I’ll end up hurting. 

*END OF RECAP*

I’ve been up all night. Again. I've been getting beat up at school again. It fucking sucks. The bruises on my back and stomach kept me up all night. This used to happen, then the assholes got suspended. They said that since I told, and I quote, “it would get worse when they came back” and it sure as hell did. I’m getting beat up everyday instead of every other day now.

I’ve been up all night thinking and planning. Planning what you may ask? My death. 

I’ve never been the happiest kid but I tried. Trying is just becoming to hard now. Now that the beatings are back and they're more frequent, and I’m being left out more than ever, my depression is worse than ever. My antidepressants stopped working, and I just got them. Everyone is busy with someone else and nobody has time for me anymore. I get it, I’m not very interesting but, I’ve never felt so alone in this. 

I know I should just end it, get it over with already. Let the very few people in my life grieve. I just never seem to have the right materials. I never seem to find the right time to just let go. I know its selfish- the thought its self is selfish, but it never stops me from wanting to more and more each day. My will to live becomes smaller with every beating, every lunch that no one talks to me, the days I have to walk home because Niall's car is full. Ending it just seems more and more like a reality than a fantasy each and everyday that I breathe. 

I wonder where I would go. To heaven or to hell? To which I’ll be in for the rest of eternity. Being in hell cant be much worse than living, right? Who knows. Maybe by some miracle I’ll make it to heaven. But who the hell knows right? I wonde-

My thoughts got cut off by the sound of my alarm clock. I quickly turn it off and slowly get up, trying to not make the pain of the bruises any worse. I head to the bathroom and turn the shower on. I strip and hop in, trying not to look at myself so I don't start crying again. The water is cold at first but then slowly turns warm. I only spend about 5 minutes in the warm water before I get out. I dry myself off quickly and get dressed. I’m successful at not looking in the mirror. 

I brush my teeth and make my way down stairs. Mum is gone already so I walk out the door with my backpack in hand. Niall texted me last night saying that Hailee is sick so he can pick me up. I pull out my phone and send him a quick text telling him that I’ll start walking. I’m about 3 minutes away from home as he pulls up. “Hey, get in the car mate.” Niall says as he rolls down his window. I go and open the backseat door and hop in. 

“How are you doing today mate?” Liam asks from the front seat. 
“I’m living,” I reply and he just shakes his head smiling. He the starts a conversation with Niall. 

“Hey,” Luke says as he nudges me lightly. “We haven’t really talked in a while,” he says frowning slightly.

“Yeah, I know. You’ve just been so busy with Ashton lately. Don’t get me wrong, I think that you guys are cute together and hes a great lad, but I miss talking to you,” I say.

“I know, I’m sorry. I’ll make more time for us to hang out,” he said smiling at me.

“Don’t worry about me you loaf. Worry about you’re, may I say, very cute boyfriend,” I say and he chuckles.

“He is pretty cute innit,”  he says and I nod, laughing. Just then, we pull up to the school. Niall parks in his normal spot and we all get out. We all make our way to our lockers and grab our stuff for first period. Luke walks over to Liam, Niall and I. He has Ashton on his arm and I just envy them so much. I want a boyfriend as hot as one of them, maybe then I wouldn’t contemplate the things I do. But, thats besides the point. 

I can tell seeing them makes Liam sad. Zayn goes to a different school then us, but they make it work. Zayn goes to a school called Doncaster High. I have no idea where it is but oh well. I walk over to Liam and put my arm over his shoulders. He looks up at me (because I’m a freaking GIANT) and I smile at him, he gives me a sad smile in return. The bell rings so we all go our separate ways. 

I’ve been going through my whole day not paying attention to anything any of my teachers said. There’s five minutes before the bell rings and we go to lunch. I sit there and watch the clock for the remainder of time. When the five minutes finally pass, I get up and make my way to the lunch tables as fast as possible. I try to get over there really fast so I don’t get beat up today. To my demise, one of them sees me and grabs my arm.

I get dragged down to an empty classroom. Great, here we go. Again. There are a few more guys in the classroom now. One of them looks outside the door to make sure that nobody is in the hallway. Two more guys walk in, they’re big and scary. As soon as they close the classroom door, I breakdown crying. One of the two bigger guys, starts laughing. “Go,” is all I hear before fists and feet are colliding with my skin. It hurts so bad but I can’t move, I can’t call for help or else it’ll get worse. The kicking and punching only lasts for a few minutes before it stops. All seven of the guys leave laughing and yelling the word fag at me. 

I lay on the floor crying before I sit up and dry my tears. I try to compose myself before I stand and grab my backpack. I walk out the door and make my way to the cafeteria. I sit at my table and put my head down. 

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(Word count: 1253)

Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed! I know its sad but, this chapter is so very important. This chapter was hard to write ngl. I hate writing about stuff like this but I think you guys are really gonna like this book! I’ll try to update within a week, but no promises. I hope you are all doing well and staying safe! 

All the love, AJ