Becoming Miss Lee

Chapter 9 - A Single Loss

I tried to keep out of Rogers' way as much as humanly possible, but it seemed that, no matter where I went, he was there, stalking around somewhere quietly, never saying a word. Can you even imagine being pinned beneath the mantle of such a man? It was suffocating. I had to watch even my correspondence with General Clinton, for the slightest misstep now would spell my doom. Nathan and I agreed to meet at preset, random dates, sometimes days after parties, to avoid suspicion, and we never entered or left a location together.

Following my first encounter with Rogers that same night, Nathan became increasingly on edge. He professed to me that he was becoming worried. "Honestly, I do hope I will be able to get at least you out of here soon."

"I already told you that I am not leaving you here alone." I was firm in that respect. "Either we both leave together or neither of us leave at all, do you understand me?"

He turned to me and I saw his brow crease in the dim light of the moon through the clouds. He placed his hands on my shoulders and sighed, "Bea... Bea, please..."

"No. You cannot change my mind, Nathan."

"Rogers suspects everyone. How could I explain to your father that you were hanged as a spy and I was the one who talked you into this? How could I tell him that?" He gave me a shake and stared into my eyes, "Tell me how, Bea! How could I go on living knowing that it was I who brought you here to this damned city in the first place?" I was happy that we had decided to meet in the woods again and that Nathan did not have to worry about keeping his voice silent, because he was getting passionate. "I refuse to be the one to have to take home a letter to Miss Anne and those kids that love you so much. If things begin looking bad, whether I leave or not, you go. Do you understand? Promise me."

"Nathan-!"

"Promise me that you will go without me!" I had never seen Nathan quite like this. I bit my lip till I tasted blood, choked back tears, and jerkily nodded my head. I knew that he was not yelling at me in anger; he was yelling at me because he did care. He wrapped his arms about me and held me to his chest. "I am so sorry, pretty girl. Don't cry..."

"Do not ever make me promise you something like that ever again." I felt the hot tears staining my cheeks and brushed them angrily away on his waistcoat. I did not know if I could ever bring myself to leave him. Nathan was... He was something special. He completed me in some unknown way that I cannot describe even to this day.

"Never again, pretty girl. Never again."

-

September 21 began like any other day. I awoke yawning and still utterly exhausted from a night filled with wine and dancing with General Clinton. My feet hurt, my caves ached, and my uncle had gone out on business and said that he would return shortly. I sat alone in the house, chewing away on some slightly stale bread, when a knock on my door forced me to toss on a dressing gown and hurry to open it. As soon as it had enough space, Nathan thrust himself into the room, "Nathan Hale!" I exclaimed as he pressed me into the wall in order to enter the apartment.

"Oh sweet god, I am so sorry, Bea!"

"Mister Hale, I do believe that pushing a woman up against a wall is reserved for women of lower breeding..."

"Go on about social protocol later when I have the time. I have good news! Providence smiles upon us because I do believe that I found another colonist who wishes to help us spy!" He saw my mortified expression, but he waved it off with a smile, "Do not worry. I never even brought you up, just in case."

A third set of local eyes would serve us well, but the more people in one area, the more likely the chance of capture and meeting the hangman's noose. "Nathan, not that I am not happy, but is this wise?"