Dedicated to @ofmiceandfranki for this brilliant idea!
TRIGGER WARNING
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"Mikey, baby I'm going to the store I'll be back in an hour or so." Luke says as he kisses me softly.
"Ok I love you Lukey." I smile.
"I love you more." He says and blows me a kiss as he walks out of our apartment.
My heart begins racing at the thought of what I'm going to do tonight, Luke is going to be hurt but it's the best for him and me. I have depression and he shouldn't live with an unhappy person, and being with an unhappy person makes you unhappy, and my Lukey should never be unhappy.
"It's time." I whisper to myself as I search through my closet to find where I hid the stuff.
I pad into the bathroom and lock the door. I take my razor out and slice my skin open, every time saying something different.
"I'm ugly." cut
"I'm a disgrace." cut
"Luke doesn't love me." cut
I begin to cry, I stare at my wrist and tears come down like rain on a foggy day. I can't stop, I need to die I remind myself.
I sob and sob, each time a tear falls a slash will be added to my scar filled skin.
"Why was I born?!" I scream and throw myself to the ground.
"I can't live!" I scream and kick everywhere.
My sobs become more frequent and it's hard for me to breathe.
"Michael!" I hear Luke yell.
I let out another sob, cutting my arm again.
"Michael baby, why are you crying?" Luke asks with a worry filled voice.
"I want to die!" I scream as the tears race down my face.
"Michael open the door now." I hear Luke say in a panicked voice.
He slams his fist against the door, making me jump. "Michael open the door, please baby I love you, you can't die you are too important." He says.
"No it's too late, you're too late." I say and begin to open the bottle full of pills.
"No!" I scream as the bottle drops and the pills fly everywhere.
"Michael what was that? Do you have pills in there? Michael open the door now! You can't die on me baby, you just can't!" Luke yells, and my heart breaks a little more.
He kicks the door open and rushes in.
"Michael baby, no no no no." He says and lifts me into his arms.
"You can't die you are my world." He says and begins to cry.
He stares at my arm and lets out a sob.
"Why would my darling hurt himself?" He asks me with watery eyes.
"Because I want to die." I say.
"Please Mikey don't say that again." He says and examines my cuts.
"Let go of me and let me finish what I started." I scream and pound against his chest.
"I will never let go of you, ever." He says.
"Let's get you cleaned up." He says and begins to fill the tub with hot water.
He slowly takes off my clothes, kissing me along the way.
Once I'm fully naked he lifts me into the tub.
"Please just let me die Lukey." I beg, crying for mercy.
"Never." He says blankly as he washes me.
Once he gets to my cuts he brings his lips to my wrist and places delicate kisses upon each mark.
"I love you so much Mikey." He says as he dries me in my favorite fluffy pink towel.
He carries me to the bed and changes me into fresh pajamas.
He places us both in bed after he throws on a T-shirt and shorts.
He pulls waist close to him and puts my head on his chest.
"I love you, Ok?" He says and strokes my hair.
"What do you love about me?" I ask honestly, curious to know why he would love a useless thing like me.
"I love your face, your hair, your body, the way you look when your sleeping you just look so peaceful, your voice that makes me oh so happy whenever I hear it, your sense of humor you are so funny and you always make me laugh, I love your laugh especially when you laugh so hard your nose crinkles, I love how delicate and innocent you are, Michael, baby I love almost everything about you, but there's one thing I hate about you." Luke says and my heart drops.
"Hate?" I say sadly.
"Yes I hate that you don't love yourself." He explains and I tear up a little bit.
"Please don't cry darling." Luke whispers, kissing my cheek.
"I just don't deserve you." I say, looking down.
"Are you kidding me Michael, if one of us doesn't deserve anyone it's that I don't deserve you." He says.
"I love you Lukey." I say and cuddle him harder.
"I love you Mikey, so much." He says, and for once I fall asleep peacefully.
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This made me so sad :(
Just know that you're all beautiful and important and you are worth it.
Love you ♡
