Take Me To Church - l.s. AU

Ch. 15

I began making my way to the rover at a quick pace, "Lou" Harry breathed out. I started jogging to the rover now. "Lou!" I was panicking at this point. Maybe it was a panic attack, I don't know. But I broke out into a run, going past the range rover. "Louis!" Harry yelled after me but I didn't stop. I could feel the tears running hot down my cheeks the cold air making my face hurt.

I didn't really know where I was running to, I was just going. I could tell Harry stopped following me eventually but that didn't matter. I ran across some streets almost getting hit by cars at points. My chest hurt from how hard I was working my body in the crisp air.

-

Eventually I had stopped running and now I was just walking down the empty streets of Doncaster, my hands in my jean pockets to try to keep them warm.

Harry had called to ask if I was okay, and I just told him yes and that I'd be home soon. I just needed some time to myself to think things over.

I was basically mourning. The only thing was my parents weren't actually dead, but it felt like they were. Those two people weren't my parents; they were strangers. That's why it hurt so bad, was because I didn't have my mum and dad anymore.

As I walked I kicked a few rocks here and there. I then noticed I was approaching the cafe. It gently started to snow as I now stood outside the shop's window, looking inside. We always stayed open late, so it was no surprise to see people inside, sipping on their coffees and reading or chatting. I saw El working the counter and I almost went inside to say hi, that was until I spotted Luke staring at me. His look was cold as he kept his gaze on. I looked back. He then just slowly shook his head no, and that was enough to get me walking once again.

I felt a little lost, and maybe I was throwing a bit of a pity party, but tell me; would you be okay if your parents told you you weren't theirs? Would you be okay if they said you'd rot in hell? The only two people who were supposed to love you unconditionally, didn't. My own father hated me because I fell in love. I didn't know about my mum. I guess she had tried, but I saw the looks she gave. I saw how she grimaced when Harry would somehow touch me.

I found myself at the park; the same park Harry and I had gone to a few months ago. I strolled to the center, standing in front of the lake which I had thrown my neckless into. I just gazed out at the water, it dark and cold. I let out a long breath, a puff cloud of air coming in front of my face. It was pretty cold out, and since it was dark outside it made it worse.

Even through all of this I was still lucky. Lucky to have Harry and his family, and lucky to have my sister.

Lottie...

I took my phone out of my back pocket and opened my sisters text box.

hey Lot, u okay?

Her reply was soon.

The question is are U Ok??

not really but hey I will be. I always end up okay :)

The smiley face wasn't genuine, but oh well.

I'm so sorry . I knew about the pic thing but I just thought mum had taken care of it & I didn't want to draw Ur attention to it

Lottie it's okay really

yeah...

We texted back and forth for a little while until she said she had to go since mum and dad were forcing her to open gifts... Oh right. It was Christmas... It didn't feel like it though. I didn't expect a gift from my parents, so it didn't hurt when I didn't receive one. I should've gotten my sister something nice, but I didn't have as much money since I now had to help pay for rent with Harry. I promised I would take her to dinner though.