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My eyes are in sore need of rest by looking at the computer for so long moments now. I am alone at the office. The director has given me many papers to reread and add them in our website. Outside, the rain starts already to fall heavily but I'm still in the middle of my work. I keep myself focused because I don't want to restart all over again if I make mistakes. I continue because I don't want to come back here tomorrow. Now I'm starting to have headache. I never worked this hard in my life. But I'm used to feel this painful feeling. The heavy rain makes the moment a little bit cooler in the office. It's already 01:00 am and I'm still here. I will finish this last two papers and I'm off.
༺༒༻
I finally done. I check if everything is alright before I will go out. It's ok. I can go. Only the old guard was there waiting for me to leave. "Thank you so much for staying!" I kindly tell him putting the key in my bag. "I didn't do it for you bitch! It's my job!" He says frowning angrily to me. I am so upset. I don't know what I do to make him disgraceful like this. I never talked to him before. But he was so friendly with everyone here. He always smiled when I enter and go out from here. I immediately smile to him to avoid any situation that I may regret. He holds my arm hardly. I'm lost I don't know what to do. If I scream no one would hear me because of the rain. I managed to pull it away with other hand and I cross the door running out. My heart beats so fast and I'm starting to burst out crying. What if I couldn't cope myself with this? No one would save me. I'm crying while walking with the rain in all my body. I don't care. My home is still so far but I'm not sure there will be buses at this time. I walk down the train station. It was very silent. As if the apocalypse happened here. No employees. No homeless people. I reach the chair to wait for the next train which will pass in early morning so I have to be patient sitting here. There are still many hours left. I'm so cold and sad. I checked my bag and my everything get wet. Fortunately my mobile was in a safe place. If it has broken I ignore what would I do. I'm not able to pay another one because I have already bought my ticket for the concert with my last two salaries. I am so devastated, feeling alone, and so scared. A sequence of horror film in head. I let my hair pouring down my face because I don't want everyone will see it when here will be crowded by busy londoner workers. Suddenly a light appears in my right direction. I am a bit afraid but don't want to risk my life. I won't come to see it. I calm down. Take a deep breath and the light is now looping. I try to lean to just check its form, it looks like a circle but it was too far to be seen. My heart is beating hard. I'm afraid it can be a ghost. The color changes abruptly into purple. I am relieved! It's an Army Bomb! 🔮 I'm so happy! I rush to get it. My fear is now replaced by happiness. I'm like a kid who found her lost toy. Lol.
I get this close to my eyes. Observing it. Someone may lose it here. I have never had this before. Even I'm a fan I never bought it. However, I got their posters in all my rooms. Their DVD documentaries and albums. Graphic book lyrics. But never an Army Bomb. I am so delighted. It will accompany me until the train will pass. Suddenly, the way it's glowing in the middle of this station gives me hope and strength. I'm sad but should no more be worried. V's song resonates in my head. I feel so appeased.
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~𝐵𝑇𝑆-𝑉 / 𝑆𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑦~
𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦?
⁂
The first train finally passes, and my eyes are depleted due to wide awake from last night. Everyone looks at me. I know exactly what they are thinking about me, a crazy woman. Or thinking about the worse. I bow my head down. I have a feeling of shameful discomfort. Some old woman looks piteously at me but refuses to help. I enter the huge train and take a seat very exhausted. I never closed my eyes until I went out from the office. I finally arrive at home more exhausted. I should take pills to find sleep.
