The Last Time We Met

5

With Cedric, things were easy. He slipped into my life and it felt like he'd always been there, filling a space I hadn't realized was empty. He made conversation at dinner with my mom like we'd been friends for years.

Afterwards, we walked back to the co-op, where he'd left his bike. I waved him off into the sunset with promises to text or call him to get together the next day. As soon as he left my sight, I pulled out my phone and texted him.

Hi :)

He returned the text a half second later.

I miss you already

He called me once he got home, and we talked for hours about our favorite books, songs, movies. We watched a movie together on Netflix, his favorite: The NeverEnding Story. Then we watched one of my favorite silent films, Sir Arne's Treasure. "I don't think I've ever watched a silent film," Cedric told me.

"The best part is that we can talk the whole time," I said.

It was late by the time we finally hung up and then I could barely sleep. All I could think about was Cedric touching me, the way his mouth tasted. I woke up to bright sunlight and my phone buzzing against my cheek. It was Cedric. "Do you have a car?"

I did, in fact, have a car. It was my dad's old car, he gave it to when he upgraded to a brand new Lexus. Cedric gave me his address, and told me to come to the door so I could meet his parents. His dad—I called him Mr. McKinney, but he said, "Call me Rob"—insisted I come inside for breakfast after I said I'd only had a granola bar. His mom, from whom Cedric had gotten the Japanese features I had found so interesting yesterday, sat staring into a mug of coffee, and his little brother Nic—"without a K!" Nic made sure to tell me—towered over Cedric. They also had a dog, a pitbull mix that Cedric fed bacon under the table. The kitchen was so full I barely had to say anything.

We drove to the beach and walked around. I had been to this beach with Eli's family, with my friends, and yet it was all new with Cedric. With my Pentax I took photos of anything I found interesting: a discarded flip flop, a girl sitting on a fence looking out at the sea, graffiti on one side of a souvenir shop. We got slices of pizza and then had ice cream and then, inexplicably, the sun was setting.

I parked outside his house, and we spent a while kissing there in the dark. I didn't want to leave. Cedric's hand had found its way down to my thigh and there it teased me, refusing to move to where I wanted it. Occasionally he would squeeze his fingers, and I would pant in his ear and try to orient myself to this new heady reality where I thought I could be in love already.

"Let's skip school tomorrow," he whispered.

That brought me back to the previous reality, and the realization that I hadn't done any of my homework over the weekend. It was early in the school year and we didn't have much, but it was my senior year and I didn't want to destroy my chances of getting into college.

He laughed at my studiousness, then said, "Yeah, I kinda should do my homework too. But call me? Text me? Send me a dick pic?"

I shoved at him, and then pulled him back for another kiss before finally saying goodnight.

School the next day felt surreal. None of these people knew about Cedric. None of them knew that I was gay. None but Eli, who took one look at me and said, "What the hell happened to you this weekend?"

"What do you mean?" I carefully put my books in my locker and removed the ones I would need for my morning classes.

"I stopped by your house yesterday and you weren't there! Your mom had no idea where you had gone!"