Ancora Imparo

-8- Like plants? (Ezra's POV)

The Google search read: "No sexual feelings"... The top result read "Asexuality is a type of sexual orientation defined as a general lack of sexual attraction."

My wolf was livid, She's our mate she should want to be intimate with us. There's some mistake.

My human side was trying to rationalize all this for him. I had to leave the room before my wolf fully emerged and did something to hurt or scare Elle. I immediately went outside and shifted, I needed to run. I needed space from my family. I'm sure they could feel my wolf's hurt and anger.

I could feel someone trying to reach me as I got close the the territory's perimeter. It was my Beta, Clay, Ezra, man, what's going on? Is everything with the Luna ok? Your mom is with her right now. Where are you?

I'm not sure how I should be feeling or acting right now. I wasn't sure how much I wanted to tell Clay, but I figured I could trust him enough. I'm by the perimeter. Do you know anything about asexuality?

On my way. Asexual - like plants?

I rolled my eyes, and sat down to wait for Clay. No, not like the plants, like not wanting sex.

What? How could someone not want sex? You'd have to have like no emotions to be able-

My wolf growled at that comment coming in through the link, Sorry. My wolf is really agitated right now.

Is this to do with the Luna?

I sighed, Yeah, I don't know what to do. The mating bond, our kind, we need a sex drive to exist. I just don't know what to do - my wolf side is not taking this well.

Well how did the Luna say she didn't want to do the old devil's tango with you? Maybe you just-

Clay, I interrupted, We are not going there. And she didn't tell me I saw a google search on her phone. And no I'm not some kind of obsessive Alpha mate, she was having a panic attack and wasn't talking to me and the phone was on the ground unlocked.

Clay came into view and bounded up to me and tossed a pair of pants at me from his mouth, Okay Mr. Not-Obsessive-Alpha, so then tell me why you're all huffing and puffing and leaving your Luna post-panic attack?

I shook my head and shifted and put on the pants as he did the same, "I only left because my wolf has been so out of control lately. I didn't want to make matters worse."

Clay nodded, "Fair enough, I guess. I mean isn't it a part of our wolves to desire sex because of the bond?"

"She seemed so distressed. I can't imagine what is going on in her head right now. My human side wants to empathize with her, but I don't know if I can stop my wolf from saying something that will make her feel worse."

"Well what if you didn't say anything? What is you just listened to her?"

I placed an hand on my Beta's shoulder, "Clay, I knew there was a good reason you were my Beta."

He shook his head with a smile, "Solid advice is just one of my many great qualities, but I'll take it."

Once we reached the pack house, I immediately went upstairs to see Elle. She was fast asleep on her bed, on top of her covers with her phone starting to fall out of her open palm. I placed the phone on her nightstand and connected it the the charger, and then took one of the throw blankets from the foot of the bed and draped it over her.

She took a deep breath in, and then her eyes slowly blinked open. "Ezra?" She mumbled. Now that she was awake I noticed how red and puffy her eyes had been and I felt so guilty.

"I'm so sorry I made you upset. You don't have to talk to me now if you don't want to, but I want to listen."

She looked at the blanket draped over her and her eyebrows scrunched in confusion before she set it to the side of her bed, sitting up, "Listen?"

"About what I saw on your phone... I want to understand."

She frowned, "There's not much to say, I was trying to figure out what was wrong with me and just started Googling. I used to do it all the time when I was trapped by my parents."

"So you don't experience sexual feelings?" It was a weird question, but I just had to know.

Elle shrugged. "I mean, with you I feel the sparks. And my wolf definitely feels an attraction to you, but never in my life have I though of someone as 'hot' or 'sexy' or whatever. I think I like you, but I don't know what that means at all."

"So it's safe to assume you're a virgin?"

She immediately blushed, but rolled her eyes at me, "Obviously, what part of overprotective parents and the whole death prophecy would make you think they would even allow the idea of a budding romance?"

"Could your lack of sexual feelings be because of the trauma and isolation?"

Elle shrugged again, "I can't be certain, but I don't think so. I think this is just how I am. I'm sorry."

Comfort her, My wolf's reaction surprised me. I was expecting him to be unsatisfied, but he seemed content with just her being happy.

I took a seat next to her on the bed, "Are you okay with me touching you... I mean like putting my arm around you?"

Elle blushed again, but nodded. So I put my arm around her, my wolf relaxing with the sparks ignited from the contact.

"I mean, I don't even know really who I am or what I want; so if it's okay with you I don't really want to be labeled 'asexual'. Maybe with time I'll just be normal," She avoided looking at me, bitting her bottom lip.

"Elle, I want you to know, you don't have to 'be normal' for me to love you. We're not normal after all, it's just a construct made by people to feel better about themselves."

"I met your mom - after you left, that is - and she said to me that same thing," She chuckled. "I really liked her, she was so nice."

"Yeah, she's a fantastic mom and Luna to our pack. And she had been so excited to meet you, but I'm sorry it had to be when I made you feel ostracized."

Elle yawned into her arm, "Sorry, I'm still a bit drained from earlier."

"Do you want me to leave you to nap?"

Surprisingly, she shook her head, "Would you mind staying... at least until I fall asleep?"

I smiled, "Of course."