Andrew

27

~ I laid on my bed, looking at the ceiling. What are those feeling inside? Why can't I fucking explain them. I don't fucking understand myself. What the hell did i do? Why does I feel different to Shawn now... I didn't feel like this in the beginning....... I looked at my room and my eyes stopped somewhere. I walked to it and grabbed it.... it was......~

It was a necklace my grandma gave me when I was younger. I opened it and readed the little text she made in it. "I know you can do it. Be proud of yourself like I am on you." I felt a tear rolling my cheek. She was an amazing powerful woman. She died 3 years ago. It was really hard for me because she always helped me and she always.... understood me. But the words in the necklace are true. Maybe I have to talk to Shawn. Maybe he feels the same. Maybe we belong together...
-
I felt in a deep sleep. The next morning I waked up because of the sunlight. I opened my eyes. What am I gonna do? Am I gonna talk to Shawn... Or am I gonna make it even more complicated. I decided to call Shawn.

"Hey Shawn" I said when he answered.
"Hey Y/n, whats up?" He asked.
"Uhh can we talk?" I asked.
"Yeah sure, where do you wanna meet up?" Shawn asked.
"Can I come to your condo in 1 hour?" I asked nervous.
"Yes sure, see you" Shawn answered.
"Okay bye" I said and ended the call.

Fuck I am hella nervous. I eated breakfast and put on and oversized hoodie and leggings. I did my hair in a messy bun and did just basic make up on. I walked to my dads work room. "I am going uhh to Shawn" I said. My dad raised a eyebrow. "Okay Honey, have fun" My dad said with a wink. I rolled my eyes and left the house. I grabbed my bike and drove to Shawn's condo. Damn I am so nervous.
-
I ringed the bell and Shawn let me in. I walked to the elevator and after 6 minutes I stood before his door. My hands were shaking and I wanted to walk away. But its to late. I have to do this. I knocked on the door and 1 minute later Shawn opened the door. "Hey" He said. "Hey" I said. Shawn let me in and I did my jacket off. "Do you want something to drink?" Shawn asked. "Uh some water please" I said. Shawn nodded and gave me a water bottle. I sat down at the kitchen island and Shawn sat down next to me. "So what's up?" Shawn asked. "Shawn, since the day we... kissed i have a weird feeling... like something isn't right" I said. "I- Uh- I- Sorry that i kissed you" Shawn said. "No no that's okay" I said. Shawn stood up and walked to me. I go off the  barstool and Shawn walked to me. I walked back and then I felt the kitchen counter against my back. Shawn stood before me and looked deep in my eyes. He grabbed my hips and lifted me up so I sat on the kitchen counter. He came closer to me and leaned in. He stopped really close before my lips. "Do you really want me to kiss you right now?" He asked. I didn't answered. I brushed my lips on his and put my arms around his neck. My legs around his torso bringing him so close as possible to me. What the hell am I doing? I am living.
-
Shawn pulled away after a while and looked deep in my eyes. "You are beautiful" he whispered making me blush. "Kiss me" I whispered back. Shawn nodded and brushed his lips on mine. He grabbed my hips holding me really close to his body. Not even thinking about letting me ever again go. Like he would never let me fall again.... scared to let me fall. He pulled away and kissed my cheek. "You're so special" Shawn said. "Why?" I asked. "Because you are you. Because you are beautiful. Because you are funny. Because you are sweet. Because you are caring. Because you are everything I want and will ever need" Shawn said whispering the last piece. I blushed really hard. "Shawn.... I am scared" I whispered back. "For what?" He asked. "Love maybe... or getting hurt... or being alone" I whispered back. "I will protect you. For all of that" Shawn said making me smile. "But......" Shawn said.