And Then There Was One.

Sonny dreaming
I see Pete in front of me. Im running to him. He hold's me. He's so soft and warm. I could stay like this forever."I'll never leave you. I'm always with you." Pete says. "Always?" "Yeah man. You're never alone."
Third P.O.V
Sonny grins in his sleep. "Pete." He mumbles. "Pete." He says with more force. He moves his arm only to find nothing. He opens his eyes to see the right side of his bed empty. "Oh." He simply says. I need to stop doing that. Sonny sits up on the edge of his bed. His bed? Is it his bed? It used to be their bed. But then again, his apartment used to be Pete's apartment. Used? I don't even know anymore. Sonny looks up at the calendar that's above the night stand. "Well I'll be damned." Sonny says, looking at the date. He holds his head in his hands. And he stays like this for quite some time. Thinking. Fuck it. Today's gonna be different. Sonny got dressed and headed out.

Sonny stops walking and places his hand on the brick wall. Palace of Peace The last mural Graffiti Pete did. Sonny traces the letters GP with his fingers. He was so talented. Was. Huh. Palace of Peace was the only graffiti that Pete did that Usnavi didn't get rid of. Sonny walked into the bodega. "Hey cuz." Sonny says while picking out his breakfast. "Sonny?" Usnavi says shocked. He gave Sonny a hug. "Oh my gosh. Sonny How are you?" "I'm good." Sonny walked toward the counter so usnavi could ring him up. You know that awkward silence that happens when you haven't talked to someone in this long time? Yeah that's what's happening. "Hey um... If you ever want to hang out with me, Benny, Vanessa, or Dani or Carla or even Nina, just let me know." Usnavi says. "Obviously you're not going to want to hang out today." Usnavi says panicking. "Thanks cuz. I'll see ya around. K?" And sonny left with his breakfast. He climbed up the fire escape that was on the side of the bodega. He stopped and looked at Abuela's throne as he ate his breakfast. Sonny would open his window and let Pete in his room or climb out his window to chill with Pete on this very fire escape. Sonny chuckles. Aye! Usnavi had no clue! Sonny finishes his breakfast. I know just where I want to go next. He climbs down the fire escape. Sonny smiles at the mural of Abuela Claudia and continues to leave.

Here we are. Sonny made it to his destination. "Wow." Sonny says when he makes it to the roof of the building. Sonny always knew the view up here was legendary but he had never seen it midday. They only came up here to watch sunsets. We could talk about anything. He sat down at the edge of the building and let his feet dangle in the air. He couldn't help himself, and all the years came rushing back like a dam that had just broke. A dam that he tried so hard to maintain.

Pete's moans Pete's wispers. Pete's SMELL. He smelled like a mixture of spray cans fumes, blood, and tobacco and yet it didn't smell bad. His walk. GOD his walk was intoxicating. It was swift, smooth, and lanky. His polkadot shirt with his bandanna he wore around his neck. His sleeveless hoddie. His muscles. He was tall. He did everything with grace. Him speaking Spanish when he was close to Cumming. "Por favor sol" and the dirty talk. Pete never needed to fuck me the way I reacted to Pete's dirty talk but he did it anyway. The piggy back rides. The nicknames. Pete's winks. The blackout. Me watching Pete while he tags a wall. The stories pete would tell about his childhood. All the time we spent when we where kids. The pranks we pulled. He was the first to try The Sonny Slushie. The cigarettes. His piercings. Him shivering when I slid my tongue in his mouth.  His dorkyness. Him helping me with my math homework. Him comforting me. His hugs. His kisses. His licks. Prom night. I grabbed him by his red tie. Our first kiss. Him helping me come out. Me telling usnavi about us dating. Usnavi not letting him in the bodega. His dreams. Usnavi walking in on us. Him cursing. Him singing karaoke. The pride parades. The protests. His stereo.

"He would bring his stereo and he had a tape of Big Fun from Heathers in Spanish. And then one day he got a tape of Non-stop in Spanish. Then guns and ships. Then burn. Then congratulations and first burn. And then we had all the Hamilton songs." Sonny felt the need to say it out loud. He feels his eyes tearing up. I'm not going to cry. Sonny opens his phone and starts playing some of the music they used to listened to. He doesn't even make it 4 seconds into the song before crying. It's just like how things used to be but so different. People looked up to the sky to see where the screaming of showtune lyrics was coming from but Sonny didn't have a fuck to spare.

He stops when the tears stop or his voice gives out. Whichever came first he doesn't remember and couldn't care less. He wipes his face and takes deep breaths. By the time he gets back on the ground, he's calmed down. One last stop. He walks into a store. He tosses some small candles into his bag. I already have a lighter. Do I have a rosary? Sonny shrugs and grabs a rosary. Shit. What about dinner? He thinks about it. What about Pete's favorite? Pete's fav it is. He passes spray cans. He gasps. He stood there like time had stopped. He slowly went to go hold one. The nostalgia. Something got the better of him and he put a fuckload of spray cans in his bag. After that, he went toward the flower area. "Hmm." Sonny grabs sunflowers and goes to the check out.

Sonny gets on his knees and lights the candles. He places the flowers on Pete's grave and whips out his rosary. Now, Sonny ain't really religious but Pete did everything for Sonny when he was alive. I have to return the favor. Sonny doesn't even remember how he knows about rosary's. I feel like abuela taught me this. But if that's the case, then how come I didn't have one before? If abuela gave me one, then I must still have it. Sonny still has everything that Abuela Claudia ever gave him. After Sonny prayed the rosary, he looked at the head stone. Seeing Pete's name etched in stone stings every time. I don't think I'll ever get over that. He closes his eyes. "I love you." Sonny says as if it was just him and pete. And for that small moment, it felt like it was just them. It was quiet other than the sounds of cars honking and the wind. Peace. Sonny felt at peace. And he felt bliss. Like maybe, after a solid year he could... move on? No, it was more like he could finally love himself again. Love the world again, no matter who it takes away from him next. And to love the people who where always there for him.