Dear Diary

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Do you remember the first time you rebelled against your parents?

That feeling of adrenalin working overtime and your heartbeat sounding louder than a locomotive train. I think it is sort of a right of passage for every child in his life to try it at least once. There are some things you have to do before you grow up.

My life has always been run by dictators. There is no room for democracy in my house.

Ever since I can remember my parents have told me what I am allowed to eat, what friends I am allowed to have and not have. They would tell me what was not good for me. They told me what I should wear and what type of music I should listen, the list when on and on. At first I thought that this war normal, but later I came to realize that they were asserting control over every aspect of me life.

At ten years old I had my first taste of rebellion. I knew from that first moment that I would try everything I could to break away from the hold my parents had on me. The older I got the more difficult it got to escape. There has always been one thing that I refused to give up. It did not matter how hard they tried to persuade me.

It was surfing.

I was ten the first time I got onto a board. I walked along the beach and saw this guy surfing the waves. I cannot explain in words what it felt like. He made it look easy. He looked free.

When he finished I asked him if he would teach me. He agreed once I offered to pay him a lot of money. At first I would stand on the sand and balance on the board. He taught me the basics on the sand and then it was time to take on the sea. The first few times I practiced it was awful and I fell a bunch of times.

I remember the moment I actually got it right. The best way to describe it is that I felt content for the first time in my life. I felt alive.

I made a promise to my father. If he allowed me to surf for the school's team then I would make sure that I got straight A's in all of my subjects and that I would also play Tennis. A win-win situation.

Now I can do neither. Not to mention the fact that I was in a coma for two months which means that I am extremely behind in my school work.

What is my purpose now? Will I still have a use?

There is no room for error or forgiveness in my family. 

 

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