Blog of a Teenage Superhero

Bonus Chapter: Our Favorites, [Spoiler] and [Spoiler] Go on a Date

Song Selection: Do I Wanna Know? — Arctic Monkeys

The two boys had never met without Monet, not until Max escaped prison in what, if this was all a silly book series, would likely be 'book two' of the escapade. But when it had happened they were worried and fighting, all except when they had that one moment to stop and awkwardly kiss. But now, Monet happily in her little bubble with Percy, now that they've been frank about their feelings with each other, well...

"I think we should go on a date," Kai says, his head pressed against the window and his legs stretched across the backseat of Finn's car. He looks so pretty, so long like that. The way the streetlamp glitters off Kai's eyes, the way his shirt lifts a little and the waistband of his Calvins peaksz   from his jeans. 

Finn stiffens. He's had girlfriends before, but it's been a while. And this is new, this relationship with someone he thought he hated, and further, a guy? A guy who Finn has suddenly become aware is attractive. The defined musculature, the big bambi eyes, and his perfectly styled hair. It's so soft, so stupidly, prettily soft; he knows it now after finally being able to run his hands through it. And Finn is kind of stuck staring at him, trying to make sounds with his mouth, but he can't.

It's already dark. They're in the farthest corner of the Home Depot parking lot, their spot. Here, they can be alone, but going out to a, you know, place, isn't something they'd even talked about. Finn isn't good at talking about that. So every two or three nights they'd end up in this perfect makeout spot, and they'd always sit there, knees touching, all hot blushes and nervous laughter. Occasionally Finn would even put his hand on top of Kai's before his fingers got too sweaty. And then they'd quickly switch to arguing about cartoons or taking turns playing Breath of the Wild on Finn's Switch.

"Uhh..." Finn scratches the back of his neck. "Like, like what do you mean?" If Finn could describe his headspace, there wouldn't be words or sentences. It would be 'Fine.exe has stopped working.' Blue screen, shut down. Here's this pretty (pretty!) guy asking him out, and every possible correct response has spilled out of Finn's brain like colorful jelly beans from a shattered jar.

"Like a date, like getting food and walking down the boardwalk. You know, stuff." Kai sits up, this happy little grin stretched across his sun-kissed face. And Finn wants to lean forward, run his hand through Kai's dark, lush hair. He turns his head to the big moon in the window. 

This is gay. That's a thought. That's a thought that's churned in Finn's head for weeks now. There's no emotional attachment, at least nothing he can or would want, if he could, to consciously understand. He's not...ashamed of being gay or kind of gay. He just, just doesn't know how. And there shouldn't be a 'how.' But there's baggage with the term, it's a deep concept, so the 'how' lingers anyway. 

Kai stretches, waiting—he's so languid, so beautiful, and very gay. It's tied to him, something he's proud of. He attends big prides with the community, engages with service and activism for it has gotten into fights, gotten bullied, gotten hurt as a gay person. Coming out is one of his favorite stories to tell. Being lgbt is tied to who Kai is, a piece of a complex person.

But not Finn. Finn who had heard terms like 'gay' and 'bi' and had always associated the words with "someone else," "not me." When he first noticed Kai—really noticed him, the flowing lines that made him up, each defined muscle, how boyish he looked and masculine and t|at Finn found the boyishness kind of attractive—well, it scared him. So he pretended to hate him, brought Monet flowers and tried to shovel those feelings onto her instead. But here he is. Finn likes men. How could he like men?

Kai's eyes slide to the window and then back to Finn, and everything in Finn's head stills. He wants to reach out and hug him, wants to kiss him, but his hands are clammy and his face is still burning. "Well?"